, I need your . What do I do?

[im over here]

I'm completely lost. Never in my life have I ever fallen so deeply in love with someone in my life. I am turning 24 this year.

 

Before I ask your advice, I will give you a brief background of our history. Chris and I have been dating for nearly a year now. In the first couple of months that we were dating, he did something to betray my trust. I read a few of his messages to his friends, which, yes, I know I was in the wrong for, and a lot of them talked about how he wanted these other girls, and wanted to take them out, and so on and so fourth. I confronted him about this, and we talked about it. The thing is he has low self-worth, as far as I'm concerned. He needs someone to make him feel important, attractive, etc. I thought I was doing a good job of this. Apparently not. I love this man so much. I cannot picture my life without him. He has given me so much... and then this happened and my heart was shattered. It wasn't more than 3 months that past... things were going fairly well. I still had trust issues from that incident. And then I find an e-mail which destroys everything that I tried so hard to build back up. It was an e-mail to his friend asking for concert tickets, if he had any or not, because he wanted to bring this "new piece of ass" with. My heart nearly sunk to the floor. I found this at work (my second day on the job, mind you) and I had to leave. I printed out the e-mail and asked him to meet me right away. We both cried... harder than any of us has ever before. He explained how he just wanted to "look cool" in front of a friend he used to work for.

 

I gracefully, but definitely, naively took him back, into my arms, and said everything was going to be fine. It wasn't and will never be the same again. This e-mail ordeal happened in May... I truly believed him. With everything I had. Maybe I was so blindsighted by my love for him, and his love for me that I had no choice but to not see what was there. I am still having really big trust issues. To the point where I even GUESSED his password to his e-mail account (I was correct... boys are so predictable) and found an e-mail just today.

 

It was to the same girl that he messaged his friend about the first time. A 20-year-old college student with a boyfriend, who she claims is the "love of her life." (this can be seen on her internet profile... not by what they discussed in the e-mail)

 

Regardless, the e-mail read: Sorry I did not call you last night. I spent the night at my aunt's because my uncle is in the hospital (true) I am sorry if I was out of it yesterday. I just have a lot on my mind, and still do. I hope you did well on the paper (which apparently he helped her with) I will try to call you tonight. I am spending the night at my aunt's tonight as well.

 

Should I have wasted the energy typing all of this out? Or do I truly know my answer that this is not going to work? I think I would have a much easier time with it if he just said, hey, look... I don't want to be with you. But his actions are the complete opposite. He tells me how much I mean to him, how much he loves me, how I make him happy... everyday.

 

I just don't get it. And really, I truly don't know what to do? Bring it up, and say, hey I just so happened to be looking through your inbox and found...

 

I've never hurt this bad before in my life. I do not wish this pain on my worst enemy... furthermore, I know that I am not - but this kind of thing makes you feel really ugly.

 

If anyone could help me... insight, advice, anything... I'm really reaching here. I need help. Thank you so much.

[kurt]

it seems that he is testing the waters. He seems to be loving you and yet seems like he may soon want out. He seems to be taking it slow with this one other person he is texting. I suggest prepare yourself. I was once in this situation with an ex. 4 yrs together and in the last 11 months he was sleeping with an old ex of his. How I found out is I broke into his cell phone password and heard her leaving messages sexual at that. I was devestated. Look it is so painfull when an ex lies and lies to your face. I realized sometimes painful steps are taken to become happy.

 

you know after giving him chance after chance i got tired and left him. You seem really caring and smart for this. Be strong and put your foot down. Don't waste precious time, like me. Save your heart and run. He will learn a lesson one day. To me when you love someone even if your having problems you dont go and start flirting with someone else and talking to someone you know there is potential for sex. That is a no no. I think you know your answer. Confront him and tell him goodbye. cry your eyes out away from him. He needs to learn. You did nothing wrong but save your heart from further damage

[Jodie]

Good afternoon,

 

I would like to comment on your post. I don't think this man truly loves you the way you want to be loved, he is not by any means a good man. He lies, he hides things and he is deceitful. His actions tell you everything, listen to them. Just because you don't want him to be this person that he is showing (let me repeat that SHOWING as in actions) you that he is.

Whatever you do, do not blame yourself for his behavior. He owns his behavior. He would do it to anybody, not just you and I will bet this is not the first time betraying a girl. It seems to be very natural for him. He also has no respect for women "new piece of ass". Do you really want this, I would do yourself a favor and pass on this one.

[tanbark813]

I've been in your shoes with a few girls. I can tell you with all certainty that you should drop him and find someone else. He's just going to keep repeating the behavior.