Fear of Getting Fired Yet Again

[napoleandynamite]

I need some helpful advice. And I know this sounds really bad. Here it goes:

I'm a 27 year-old married female, graduate of a prestigious college with a BA in Communications. There is nothing more important to me in this lifetime as having a career (aside from family/health) After my first "real" full-time job as a "Receptionist/Admin Assistant" for a year-in-a-half, after that, I resigned for a job I took (with the same title) at an Ad Agency because it was more routed towards my field. Unfortunetly, they let me go after 2 months. Since then, I have been let go left and right, bouncing from one job to another. One week here, two months there, 8 months-I'm out again, etc, etc! Needless to say, I work really hard and I truly aim to make the company I work for be a successful as possible through my skills and experience.

Today, I am a mess. Now working for a company (2 months-almost!) as and Executive Assistant to two people, every week, rather everyday, I am having panic attacks about getting "fired" "let go" (whatever-all the same) from my job. Whenever my bosses have a meeting and shut the door, I feel they are discussing how they are going to let me go or how I'm not working out, etc. Everything I do at my job I am constantly worried I will make a careless mistake (I suspect I have uncontrolled ADD-I am now looking into that with my doctor), screw something up, or that people around me are thinking how I can't do my job right. I am highly sensitive to any form of critisism and although I don't "show it on the surface", on the inside, I am extremely defensive. Even if I set up a meeting and one of the attendees cancel at the last minute because a family emergency came up at the last second, I feel that I'm being looked at by the company as "she can't even get a meeting together and that's her job!"

How can I get over my past without worrynng about my future? I am freaked out because I don't want a choppy resume, I am sick of bouncing around from job to job, and I am more of an "independent" type of person, which means, I like paying my own way and not depending on someone else like my husband or my parents to pay my rent & bills. Especially with being a newlywed, I don't want to come home to my hubby and tell him, "Gee hon, I lost yet another job so I'll have to collect unemployment or temp until I find another one~let's see how long the next one lasts."

 

To me,this is no way for an adult to live. Even if I were single, I would want to live on my own. No matter what, I would obviously need a job. I'm very distressed and it's turning into such a problem in my life that my family recommends counseling. I can't live like this and there are days where I have wished I would die because not being able to work like a normal human being almost is a handicap in a sense.

 

What can I do to stop this? I have been at my current job for under two months, and I already am freaking out. I wasn't always like this until this stream of bad luck with jobs occurred.

Help!

[Mary3]

I need some helpful advice. And I know this sounds really bad. Here it goes:

I'm a 27 year-old married female, graduate of a prestigious college with a BA in Communications. There is nothing more important to me in this lifetime as having a career (aside from family/health) After my first "real" full-time job as a "Receptionist/Admin Assistant" for a year-in-a-half, after that, I resigned for a job I took (with the same title) at an Ad Agency because it was more routed towards my field. Unfortunetly, they let me go after 2 months. Since then, I have been let go left and right, bouncing from one job to another. One week here, two months there, 8 months-I'm out again, etc, etc! Needless to say, I work really hard and I truly aim to make the company I work for be a successful as possible through my skills and experience.

Today, I am a mess. Now working for a company (2 months-almost!) as and Executive Assistant to two people, every week, rather everyday, I am having panic attacks about getting "fired" "let go" (whatever-all the same) from my job. Whenever my bosses have a meeting and shut the door, I feel they are discussing how they are going to let me go or how I'm not working out, etc. Everything I do at my job I am constantly worried I will make a careless mistake (I suspect I have uncontrolled ADD-I am now looking into that with my doctor), screw something up, or that people around me are thinking how I can't do my job right. I am highly sensitive to any form of critisism and although I don't "show it on the surface", on the inside, I am extremely defensive. Even if I set up a meeting and one of the attendees cancel at the last minute because a family emergency came up at the last second, I feel that I'm being looked at by the company as "she can't even get a meeting together and that's her job!"

How can I get over my past without worrynng about my future? I am freaked out because I don't want a choppy resume, I am sick of bouncing around from job to job, and I am more of an "independent" type of person, which means, I like paying my own way and not depending on someone else like my husband or my parents to pay my rent & bills. Especially with being a newlywed, I don't want to come home to my hubby and tell him, "Gee hon, I lost yet another job so I'll have to collect unemployment or temp until I find another one~let's see how long the next one lasts."

 

To me,this is no way for an adult to live. Even if I were single, I would want to live on my own. No matter what, I would obviously need a job. I'm very distressed and it's turning into such a problem in my life that my family recommends counseling. I can't live like this and there are days where I have wished I would die because not being able to work like a normal human being almost is a handicap in a sense.

 

What can I do to stop this? I have been at my current job for under two months, and I already am freaking out. I wasn't always like this until this stream of bad luck with jobs occurred.

Help!

 

 

I absolutely relate to what you are going through.

Apparently as a child I was made to feel I could not get things right. So when I started working at 16 my first job I lacked self confidance and was fired. It was granted a fast food job but it hurt just the same. The next 2 consecutive jobs I was fired and was worried there was something wrong with me. ( Granted they too were menial jobs and I was just a teen. My first big break came when I kept a job ( waitress for 4 years ) during that time I wanted to learn how to cook. I observed and was allowed into the kitchen. I was able to learn the hot and the cold side. From there I mastered alot and was able to keep a job. I moved into management and am where I am today because SOMEBODY believed in me. Its no-ones fault just my upbringing that made me feel low. Get someone who has confidance in you and you will soar @ !!

GOOD LUCK

[napoleandynamite]

Thanks, your advice was helpful

 

Guess you have to find your niche and be in the right place with the right people and eventually something sticks.

 

Hope this happens to me here, if not, one day VERY soon!

 

Good luck to you as well.

[amerikajin]

Thanks, your advice was helpful

 

Guess you have to find your niche and be in the right place with the right people and eventually something sticks.

 

Hope this happens to me here, if not, one day VERY soon!

 

Good luck to you as well.

 

Although I haven't bounced around as much, I can relate to the fear of which you speak. I once got fired from a job after serving four years as an executive director and receiving all kinds of praise. It was one of the most humiliating and deflating experiences in my adult life, and afterward I was very fearful of being 'let go' again. Looking back, I realize there were several reasons for being terminated, and not all of them my own doing, but at the time I felt like a **** up.

 

I think the real key is to be honest with yourself and to assess your true interests and abilities, and then try to find jobs which match accordingly. I've been trying to do that the last five years and only now do I think I may have finally found the answer to that age-old question of 'what I want to do when I grow up'. My plan is neither lucrative nor glamorous, but I think it's 'me' and I think that's what we should look for. Otherwise, it's just a job.

 

The other thing is, well, it is just a job. You can get another job even if this one doesn't work out. Eventually, somebody will hire you. It might not be the job you dreamed of, but you can always find something out there interesting to do if you look hard enough. Take work seriously, but not to the point of having it ruin your life.

 

If it's really scaring you, perhaps you could even approach your supervisor and just be honest about your concerns. Phrase it carefully, as you don't want him to think you're freaking out and cracking under pressure, but presumably, your supervisor should know about your past and you should be somewhat open with him and just say something to the effect of 'You know, in the past I've had misunderstandings about my job and responsibilities and I just always want to be clear about where I stand. I tend to take my job a bit seriously, and maybe a bit too seriously, so any guidance you can provide will be helpful.' And hopefully you will have a supportive supervisor who can help you to that end.

[JCD]

Try not to get defensive because that will create friction with people and that will lead to stress and you being defensive even more. It's really a choice how you want to act. Sometimes I force myself to act nicely even if I don't feel like it because it's not people's fault that I feel down. Imagine if everyone started acting defensively, that would get ugly.

 

Self confidence doesn't come from not screwing up, it comes from screwing up and learning that you can get back on the horse again. We're humans and we make mistakes. My supervisors make mistakes, I do, everyone does. It's how you handle yourself if you make one and how you go on afterwards. Stay positive.

[Blackfrost]

I think the real key is to be honest with yourself and to assess your true interests and abilities, and then try to find jobs which match accordingly.

 

That is the most important truth in this thread. I also spent a number of years floating around trying out different career paths - unfortunately always with the slant towards earning potential and/or prestige vs what I was more naturally suited to do and good at. When I finally got my head on straight, was honest with myself, and started doing what I knew I was more suited to do - I found that everything fell into place, and I was finally confident, comfortable, and not really afraid of losing my job anymore - because I know that many other employers will jump to take me in, because I'm confident and very good at what I do. Don't let the college degree, or the fear of losing a job, force you down a path you really may not be suited for. I have a degree in International Finance, but I haven't worked in that field in years. Don't look at your degree as a career you must pursue in life. Look at it more as an additional level of knowledge that enhances your ability to do whatever it is you really want to do with your life.

 

Follow what's in your heart - you will definitely find that the happiness and satisfaction you get from doing that will build your confidence and drive your career the way you want it to be.

 

good luck