WORST IN-LAWS Ever!

[Guest]

Oh.. it all started almost a year ago. My husband and I had been married for a year by this point. We were at the in-laws for Christmas. It was late.. I made tea. The microwave beeped. It upset the youngest girl sibling (19 yrs, the baby of his family) to the point where she started blogging about what horrible parents we are. (because my making tea upset her sleep) We were rotten and our child (not even a year old) was a horrible child because we couldn't get her to stop crying. (she had a cold/flu and was restless because she was sick). The Sister in law also noted that our child was ugly in her blog. I could go on.. the girl said a lot of mean nasty things.

 

It then led to the rest of the family following suit. The mother in law would talk to me in a way that was so demeaning. Saying her daughters were grown ups, and defending their actions by making up excuses for them. The mother in law was mean to me, as well. Just the way she talks down to me. I'd tell my husband, but he never believed me because she always did things behind his back. I was always the bad guy in his eyes because he had no clue what his mother was capable of. The MIL always denied any of my accusations, telling my husband I was in a nutshell, nuts.

 

They would constantly lie to my face, about little things. I'd always find out because i'd pretend like I knew the truth and then they'd be like "oh, well..yeah, we lied". It was the only way I could get them to be truthful with me. For instance.. I hate snakes. I kindly asked that when the SIL visited when we were there, to please not bring the snake for 2 days. Only 2 days. They lied to my face, knowing my phobia. I found out of course.. but then it was "no big deal". And maybe it's not.. but it's just tons of these "no big deal" things happening all the time.

 

The sister in laws constantly taunt me. They post things about me, and my family. Mostly me. After the fact, what they post about me doesn't bother me as much as the fact the MIL says they don't do those things and i'm making it up.

 

I could write a novel of the wrong doings. To make a long story short.. they are alcoholics. They have a family full of really messed up kids. Mentally messed up. My husband escaped the brunt of this because they sent him to a school 1400 miles away when he was younger. He was raised by decent people, not his parents mind you. Co-Dependent No More was written based on these people. They are mean. Hurtful. Deceitful. Liars. The MIL even stated once that she hoped her mother would die before her money ran out to support her needs. In that very way.

 

Tonight, I had a falling out with the MIL. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take her pretending to be one way to her son, and another to me behind his back. I couldn't take any of the stated above. She yelled at me. Got in my face..this time in front of her son. I'm happy she did.. he finally got to see what i've been dealing with. He still didn't support me though, he didn't stand by my side. But that's ok...

 

I told her to leave my house. I told her she wasn't welcome in my family, or around my daughter. I'm tired of her messed up antics. I feel she, and her family, are very unhealthy for MY family. I feel we're better off without them. I told her these things. I was very mean.. but I feel vindicated. I feel righted for all the wrongs they've done to me and my family. Then again, I second guess myself. As toxic as they are... I hope I did the right thing by declaring them non-exsistant from our lives. Has anyone ever had this doubt?

 

Thanks for reading..

A

[Almost]

I think you did the right thing, confronting her and refusing to put up with all this. You should just try to avoid you in laws as much as possible. Try to have your husband deal with them.

 

Try to talk to your husband to get him to understand how you feel and where you are coming from. You said they are blogging all this stuff against you. Where, on what blog? If it is publicly available, show all these posts to your husband. Don't keep it a secret from him.

 

Do you have any idea why they dislike you so much? Was it like this from day one, or did something happen that started it all? Any ideas?

[hopeto]

you are not at all at fault. let me tell you I had the same problem!!!! but it was just my mother in law. it got so bad that when she started in on me one day she about got hurt really bad. after all what she has done to me what is sad is she has really lost her mind. really.... not just saying she is crazy but has gone crazy and been in a hospital. every one she has wronged she thinks is out to get her that is why I tell people what goes around come around and it happen ten fol. 10 times worse than you were.

 

it got so bad with her getting in my face comming in my home unannounced and yelling yes yelling and starting fight till after of ten long years of it, of her being mean telling neborahs I just found out by they way that she was going to break my marrage up if it was the last thing she done cause I was worthless after ten long years of her bashing my family cause I was poor and he was rich that I was no good and my family was no good where my mother was more of a mother than his ever was. I was the loser and she was the queen(hahaha a queen that had been married 14 times.REALLY NO JOKE!~!!! not only 14 times but had other men than that and found them all from bars.

 

she was in love with her men and never gave a dam for her two sons. they always came last. in the end she tried to buy there love and it did not work she went bank rupt and lost everything even her home and her only to sons and went crazy. but ten years of hell and I finaly one lost control and poped her in the eye. had I know all I was going to get was a slap on the hand I would have meet her butt out in the front yard where she wonted it in the first place.

 

I am not a fighter at all and I had a horrible thing happen to me in my childhood that causd anger issues but I hate the fact that I controled it for so long and I let her get the best of me. she treated me so bad that when it happened my family sent me flowers saying at a girl!!! no that you have stood your ground it will be a little different. now all you have to do is stand your ground with the spoiled brat of a sis-n-law. I would put her in her place real quick expecally when it come to calling names to the baby. girl snap the fingers back then forth and tell them to get to stepin!!!! if they choose not to then help them step!!!!

 

and tell you husband to grow a back bone and stand up for his wife cause when I hit mine I looked him in the eye as I was being arrested in my home where she invaded without permission where she was in my face causing all the static while I had company over and showing her butt and because I hit her in which I was first to put the hands on not to mention the finger she had on my nose and then slightly fliping the finger off my nose saying she wonted me i the front yard pronto to tell me all she need to say but I was arrested?? I know anyway I looked at him and said this my friend is over!!!!! either you choose a life of hell or you choose to start you marrage with being married to me not me being married to your mom then you.

 

he was just as confused cause he did not even know what true love is. when we would fight he would go to her and she would by him with lavish toys cars campers etc and he would be lost in an illiusion. now he sees all the horrible things she did and not by me pointing it out but he actual sees it and is ashamed!!! he has made it himself cause I refused to tell him over and over agian what she was doing he had to see it for himself and when he did finaly he has nothing to do with her. she cheated on his dad and played his dad aganist him and would play the to sons aganist each other in turmol pur turmol. just so she could play the rescue is was so desiving and could out fox a fox. she was devious worse than the devil himself and what is said is now that my husband and his father is so close she took years from them just in the past has it cam to a surface and the fathern-law and husband are close when our baby was 6 mths she is 5 now and will be 6 in jan. but from the time he was 19 till 2001

 

his mom split them up and had mu husband convinced his dad did not love him. they got to gether because of a death. isint that sad. that a death will bring you together?? it takes a death. but I would not trad my mother in law which is his step mom nor his dad for nothing in the world htey are great. sorry for the things that is happing to you I do I was there but sister girl you need to stand up for yourself cause you let them walk on you and to them you are week. so show them you are not and take up for you and your baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[almostthere]

I would copy the blog and show to your husband. he needs to know. Maybe even see proof to believe you. Men are weird about their family.

 

My sis went through the same thing. Her H stood by his family when they were all mean and nasty to her for no reason. I remember her crying about it. I remember him not saying a thing. not even when it was infront of him. He wuld just comment on the way home how bad his family was that night. Finally she wanted to divorce over. It took her 4 years of patience to make it to that point. Then they had a family meeting. nothing changed. so finally she started avoiding any family parties. she just didnt go. she does now but things got better. She didnt go to any for about 3 years. she only went to weddings, funerals and baptisms.

 

I dont like my bf's family. they dont respect our relationship. they like me but invite his exw to family parties all the time even knowing we are going to be there. she has been a major problem for us for the first half of our relationship. so we just dont go to family parties. he tells them they need to choose. us or her. they keep inviting her...so we dont show. holidays or anything.

 

I dont know what I think you should do. just copy the blog. and you already said your peace which was awesome for you. if i were you i would deny any visits with them as much as i could. if your h wants to go he can go alone. I wouldnt even want my kids around them.

 

Good luck.