Fiance getting deployed, first time apart

[Dayzie]

I just found out two days ago that my fiance is getting deployed in less than a month, until July. This is our first time apart since we got together and I'm terrified, for other reasons as well.

 

Besides the worry of him being 'over there' that will never go away until he's home in my arms, how can I help to cope with not seeing him for 8 months, including all the big holidays and our anniversary? I try not to bug him too much about how much I will miss him, oh boy does he know, he has enough to worry about right now so it's putting a strain on me holding it in!! I just want to scream!!!

 

I know people have long distance relationship all of the time and they survive. I know thousands upon thousands of couples are seperated by a deployment and they survive. But knowing that doesn't make it easier for me

 

Just looking for some advice on how to deal, thanks for listening!

[Jordan255]

You could always visit him overseas... if you REALLY need to see him. Maybe get a video phone, or some way to make the burden less. Technology is really great these days.

 

I can relate, my fiance of two years is 6,000 miles away and it does put a strain on the relationship. We were seperated for the past 18 months due to reasons out of our control, similarly, and I'm now finally flying to see her.

 

It can be done! Persistence! And internet video phone really helps. A LOT. Phone is great, but video phone is just that added comfort.

 

And maybe you could visit him? If you are a legal fiance, you might get the free flights there, that spouses get. Granted I can understand you probably wouldn't want to, but that'd be like if you HAD to.

 

Good luck! It can be done! I survived 18 months!

[Rooster_DAR]

My EX was deployed for four months, and when she came back I was out of the picture. We were together for almost 5 years, and recently bought a new house together. I think she met a co-worker and fell in love with him. You know! I could just feel it deep inside.

[burning 4 revenge]

And internet video really helps.

That depends.

[cljackson]

My husband has been gone for almost 6 months and has two months until he comes home. I have leaned on my family and friends alot. The first couple of months he was gone we couldn't talk so we wrote to each other. That helped me a lot. I waited everyday for a letter and it made my day everytime I would get one. If I was down I would read old letters and it made me feel 100 times better. It is very hard. But it does get easier just look for the day he comes home and you are together again. That makes the time go by so much faster. I hope this has helped!!

[Miwi]

Hey Dayzie, the same EXACT thing happend to me with my fiance, where is he being deployed to? Mine has been to afghanistan and Iraq twice, and is now in South Korea...There are many things you can work out, depending on where he is, and what his job in the military is.

 

Don't hold back how you feel about the deployment, I know you don't wanna bug him but believe me, I felt the same way and I just let it all out and it brought us even closer together, and we were able to work things out. So don't hold it in...tell him you understand, but let him know how u REALLY feel even if it means acting really emotional over it and letting it all out at once.

 

My fiance has 5 months left before he comes back to the states, again and we worked out ways to spend time together, Instant messangers, cell phones...Whatever it is, find ways technology-based to talk to eachother on a constant basis, this has gotten me through it, he and I are always talking over the mic and webcam on MSN when he isn't at work.

 

Also be prepaired for some insane work hours...