SomeGirl1955 Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Ok, this may sound like a weird questions, but here goes. My h seems to enjoy pulling my hair during sex, like he will move my head over or pull me to him by my hair. Not gentle, but not that hard, even though I have told him he pulls too hard and it hurts. He does it anyway. He has always gentlly pinched my nipples, and I like that, but now that is getting rougher too, as is his sucking on my vaginal lips. I have told him he is too rough, but somehow I get the feel he is sorta enjoying making me uncomfortable or mildly hurting me. Has anyone else experienced this? He has also recently started making sexual comments such as "I find the older I get the more I like big butts"--while watching another woman walk down the street. and other things. I am very slender and was that way when he met me--no big butt here. Also just criticizing me more in general. I'm getting the feeling he is deliberately trying to make me feel bad. Anyone else have any experience with this sort of thing? Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Not gentle, but not that hard, even though I have told him he pulls too hard and it hurts. Do you need to get a little more assertive, then? The more you tolerate things like this (even though you mention the discomfort, he doesn't appear to be acknowledging you!), the more he might push the envelope (and things just get worse and worse in some sort of ugly cycle). I think he is being very disrespectful of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Heavenseventeen Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 It is abuse if he goes beyond what you stated that you do not like. It is clearly not subtle if he is yanking your hair, practically off your head. You need to put your foot down before this gets any worse. Personally, especially with the lame big butt comment, this man is just putting you down to make himself feel bigger. Don't be the victim. Establish your ground and remain firm. Get out if need be. Link to post Share on other sites
Jane Doe Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Some men like sex a little rough. If you're in agreement with that, all is well. If not, you need to tell him. When he pulls your hair, pinches you or whatever, say in a firm voice, "That hurts me. Stop." Don't let it continue. Teach him how to treat you. The way you've told him previously obviously isn't working. Be firmer and if he doesn't stop, get out of bed. Don't continue having sex with him if he's doing this to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Cheshire Cat Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I have to agree with the other posters - if you are feeling unconfortable with something he is doing, be very clear about the fact that *you are not enjoying it*. Do not allow him to continue. Get angry if you have to. Show him you are being serious about it. If he does not stop, perhaps it's time to reconsider the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Road Rage Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Is there a chance your hubby has some issue with you, such as spending money, and he doesn`t have the communication skills to handle it properly? Hard for me to explain, but maybe it is his way of saying if you don`t listen to and respect me, I don`t listen to and respect you. Link to post Share on other sites
everlong Posted October 16, 2006 Share Posted October 16, 2006 subtle abuse can be done and committed by people in many ways... i knew someone that was in a relastionship for 3 years and during that time his partner would sneak and hack into his hotmail account, and screw up his computer and do all sorts of things... when he found out he called the police right away [that is illegal] and he ended the relationship right away...then months later his ex started dating his best friend and doing it again... Link to post Share on other sites
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