this girl is a tough nut to crack

[jealousIdiot]

This is an edit of a much longer post I inflicated upon the jealousy forum:

 

I just had a great/brutal date this weekend with a girl that I've seen only twice before in the past month and 1/2 but both times involved my staying at her place with the 2nd time involving some sex. Both times very casual and spur of the moment through mutual friends. She called this past weekend and said her friend was in town and they wanted to go out. I took my buddy with me to try to make things more social and casual. There were weird vibes from the start. I had two tickets to a concert that I initially wanted to just take her to (before I found out her friend was in the mix). We all went hoping to get a couple more tickets, but it was sold out. The girl I dig said my friend and I should go in together and let the girls hang at the bar. My buddy tactlessly accepted that offer. We went in and she texted me a few minutes later to say that they had also gotten in somehow.

 

I left my buddy and found her. They didn't seem to be having a good time and wanted to leave. I said that was fine with me too and told my buddy that we were leaving but that he could stay and meet up later if he wanted. He stayed and we went to a bar across town and did some shots and were having a pretty good time. Suddenly we're with this big loud meathead jock that my date has known for a long time and seems to adore. I was buying beers for the three of us and when I came back, there he is. I handed her a beer and he took it from her and took a swig. This was all funny and cool with them, but it just totally rubbed me the wrong way and I just turned and watched the band.

 

I'm 6' 160 and this guy is 6'4" 220-230 so I couldn't very well punch him in the face even if it was the right thing to do (I know, I know it's not.) She came over to see if I was pissed and told me that this guy was her old friend that she was trying to match her friend up with him. Now it's the 4 of us going back to her place. I end up in her bed again and it's very intense. After a lot of kissing and some intense conversation in which she's telling me that she likes me so much it scares her considering how she doesn't know me well, there's a noise in the kitchen.

 

Seems the meathead is trying and failing to heat some frozen pizza. She goes out to help him and never comes back. I wake up at 8 am to loud music and them talking and laughing outside the room. I'm lying in her bed hung over and getting pissed and jealous so I just got dressed and walked out of there. This dude laughs loudly as I walk out, and I don't punch him. She caught me at the elevator and asked me if I'd call her. I asked "should I?" and she said that she really liked me a lot and it would be really bad for her if I didn't.

I went home and got some sleep and she called me at 1pm to ask me to come over. I said "I'll see what I can do", she called again about an hour later and said she wouldn't call me anymore but she'd be upset and I said "I'll see what I can do."

 

By the time I was out of bed and showered and less hungover I was pretty much over it and wanted to see her but I found a text saying "Don't come today. Do call soon" So I texted her asking if I could still see her that evening. Then I called and left a message asking her to dinner. I got no response to either. I then called her again that night (Sunday) about 5 hours later and she didn't pick up nor did I leave a message. So those were my efforts to nip this weirdness in the bud and get past it. (she has a habit of not answering or calling back and prefers texting, her friends have told me, but it still messes with my head)

 

There's been no contact since then (it's now Tuesday), and I really want to see her again and feel like an idiot for losing my cool just cause that dude was irritating me and I had some irrational jealousy. At this point it seems that things are way blown out of proportion, but I guess I'm hoping it's because we have strong feelings for each other that neither of us can seem to get a handle on or want to acknowledge. Either that, or I totally screwed up and it's through.

 

I'm thinking that since we planned on seeing each other it changed the vibe, at least for me. For me it was less casual and more like a date. I went out of the way to hang out with her that night and she spent a lot of time on that other jackass. I think she's tried to make me jealous before but I haven't bit just cause it was a casual thing, but If she was trying to this time, it worked. I turned into a jealous ass in front of the girl who practically loves me but doesn't know me very well. Well, now she knows one thing.

 

What do I do now?

[agnf666]

If you have left her several messages then I would leave her be for now. If you haven't then I would call her one last time. Just be like "Hey, I really had fun hanging out with you, I just wanted to try and get together agian? Give me a call sometime"

 

I don't know if she is trying to make you jealous. Maybe she just didn't have a chance to call you yet or she has been busy. Basically, old friends sometimes can screw things over. The thing is if she didn't hang out with him all that often then that is understandable in a way but in another that was not right for her to just ditch you and go hang out with him that night.

 

Basically, don't put too much more effort into this. Looks like she is not putting any into it either. I think she might have fallen into lust with you and not really love.