Feeling insecure

[valkea]

I, am an insecure man...

 

My ex girlfriend cheated on me. This year i met the girl i am currently with - the girl i really want to stay with.

 

My problem is with insecurity, and trust.

 

After what i last went through, i dont want to go through it again. My girlfriend is just about totally different from my ex, yet it seems my mind will not accept that.

 

I have no reason not to trust my girlfriend.

 

She has returned to finish University this year, and last week was grouped into a group of four for her project. Two of the students in the group of 4 which she is in do not speak very good English, and she has traded numbers with this one other guy. I am worried. Tonight she stayed late at Uni, to work on this project, maybe with just him, i dont fully know. I get the impression some of his friends were there.

 

Well, i feel threatened anyway. Like she will feel greater for him than me, i dont know what to do. I got no indication last weekend of any texts going back and forth between them - though he rang her on the Monday i assume innocently to see if she was going in to work on the project.

 

My question is, why do i feel so threatened?

 

I think it is because she has told me that he is her 'new friend', and that he 'seems like a really nice guy' and i dunno. I feel like a blob of mess.

[megnog]

hey,

i would feel really insecure about it too. but think about it this way -

i have a class that we had a group project for and i was stuck with three other boys. i exchanged numbers with one of them.

he called me. incidently i never picked up (bad timing) but my point is it was no big deal. the project is over and i don't have a huge crush on any of my groupmates.

the fact that he might become her new friends would bother me as well but you just need to make sure it doesn't become any closer.

 

you are feeling this way because of your ex. don't let her bring you down with new relationships. "love like you've never been hurt before" (thats from a song i really like )

 

have you tried talking to her about it? don't get all mad (of course you wont) but just simply say its bothering me a little bit and i just want to make sure nothing is going on.

no harm in that.

 

sorry if my advice sucked. i keep going back and forth between wanting to tell you positive things because its probably nothing but then also putting myself in your position and feeling insecure as you are.

[Flyin in Clouds]

...

 

My problem is with insecurity, and trust.

 

Like Reagan said, Trust but verify.

[sillyyou]

i don't think anything yet... try to look on the positive side... if she's acting funny, more secrets, closing browsers when you enter the room, text messaging and being secretive or irate about it when u ask, little signs like that.. trust your instinct and.

[Guest]

just needed to vent earlier. seems silly now. gawd. i am sorry. freaking out about something that ended 8 months ago. as for insecurities, i'll be ok. we have already tackled that issues due to our previous R's - wink. btw, thank you for allowing me to see those triggers. one thing i wanted to mention - seeing that i really haven't seen u feb and i think that last time u called to say 'hello' was, no, last time was when u said 'you are done'. we did have an interesting ride for a while. i have had the pleasure of reading many or your articles relating to the R and it really shines a different light on things. btw, there is no need to call as i believe u and i can now agree that it is best that we just move on. i have no need to know anything anymore ok. past in behind me. so, please take care of yerself [meds and doc ok?] and always remember LMW. all the best on yer journey.