How to stop feeling weird

[VotedForPedro]

My wife and I have been married for seven years and for the last 2 years things have been falling apart. We separated because she said that she did not love me anymore. A few months after we separated she called and asked me for a second chance. We talked and I decided that I would move back in with her and my five year old daughter because I do love both of them and I want our marriage to work. We have been trying to work things out for the last year but it is hard since I have moved across the country for a job that I was offered on our separation that I could not pass up.

 

A month ago we talked and it finally felt like things were great for the first time in a very long time. I came to visit and it was great for the first few days and then she just started to act different. She came out to visit a few days ago and she was still acting different. I asked her a few times what was on her mind because I new that there was some thing bothering her. After she left I called her at the airport on her way home and we talked. She said that she loves to be around me and that she has a great time when we are together but it is very weird to her when we are intimate. When I do something that is romantic or we are together sexually she feels weird and she does not know why.

 

We never fight and we get along great. She says that when she looks at me and sees some of the things that I am doing for her she does not feel the way that she knows that she should and that makes her feel bad. We both want this to work but I can not see how it will work with the way that she is feeling. I told her that I was going to give her some time to think because neither of us knows what to do next. I told her that she may want to talk with someone like a therapist to try to see if they can find any reason why she is feeling that way. That is something that we have talked about before. Is there anything that we can do? Should we keep trying to work things out or should we just cut our losses.

[breal]

I have never been married, but I witnessed this in my parents after they seperated. They were married for 25 years, high school sweethearts. While seperated they ended up being 1500 miles apart. My dad taking care of me, my mom moving to her dream place. My dad tried everything in the book to "change" and make things right, but it was too late.

 

I dont mean to shoot your plane down, but has she been seeing anyone else? My mother and father didnt see eachother for 2 years after their split. My mother came back to where we were to visit family, and stopped by to pick me me and see my dad for the first time since their divorce. I can not even tell you how completely uncomfortable it was.

 

My mother to this day (After being with another guy for 7 years now) tells me she still loves my father, and believes they are soulmates, just not right for one another.

 

I think if its going to work out between you, you need to work on it hard, right now. Dont wait. I also think your wife is witholding something from you, and doesnt want to jump the boat just yet. Then again, Im young and have never been married.

 

At any rate, no matter what happens. You still have that bond with your daughter, and that is the most important thing. Good luck.