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Mother In Denial


motherlode

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I know I am going to sound horrible but I just cannot stand my mother and two of my sisters. I come from a family of seven kids and three different Fathers (none of which stuck around) From my earliest memories, I never liked my Mother. she was never warm or loving at all and always made me feel stupid and unworthy. I ran away when I was 9 years old and left for good when I was 15. I have one brother who is so scarred from our childhood that he is now a crack addict. He was a lovely dark curly haired happy child but from the onset, he was filled with rage. When he was 13 he found out our step-father at the time was not his Dad. My Dads name was mentioned as his Father and I knew that wasnt true either..He was signing up for a baseball team he needed a birth certificate. Mum never explained anything about it..... just casually handed him the birth certificate where my brother saw the different name for his Dad on it. Pretty messed up but all the while my fantastic Mother just kept her mouth shut and my brother got angrier and angrier. There were so many other things....my selfish self-serving mother is in complete denial that he is a crack addict because of anything SHE has done. One night after he came home late at night on a school night, they were drunk as usual and my brother who was 12 at the time, came into the kitchen when Mum and step-Dad were so drunk they did not even notice him walk past as they were screwing up against the fridge.

I have done well for myself and am the blacksheep because of it. I have one sister who gets drunk and beats her boyfriend up so another sister tells me...I have one other brother who drinks but is hilarious and not mean at all... but definately drinks to excess all the time. I have one sister who is the bitch supreme and never supports anybody emotionally but who can go into attack mode better than any pitbull when someone needs a telling off!!.. man, I think she is even meaner than any pitbull attack dog. One sister is very sweet and tries to maintain a balance but is also very two faced about me so my brother and sister-in-law tells me. And me? I always come to everybodys aid when they need it but never ever get any support myself . I cannot stand my Mother and what she has done to this family and she is in complete denial about it. She seems to think we are one just big ordinary family. She stirs things up between the siblings all the time. What kind of a Mother does this? She is so pathetic but I still let it hurt me. I think I keep hoping as she gets older she will change but it just wont ever happen. I will never have the mother I hoped for. I cannot stop her and my sisters vicious comments but I wish there was a way to stop it from hurtimg me the way it does? I dont want to give them that kind of power. any suggestions short of going for expensive counselling?

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any suggestions short of going for expensive counselling?

 

weel, ats list you don wrt all liks this.

 

:)

 

Ariadne

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Believe me I can relate. I have the mother from hell as well. She decided that I was a nice punching bag for when she needed to somebody to take out her issues with men on. I cut her off completely and that may be the best thing for you to do. Luckily I am an only child so I was the only one she could mess up and I am getting myself together. All you can do is rise above your upbringing.

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yes in fact I did cut her off for years but came back when my brother started fighting battlinng addiction. Sorry for what you went through and I hope you are happy now. For me the best revenge is your personal success but if only I could stop the hurt when it comes in. It can be really emotionally crippling at times and then I feel so weak and dont want to be! Thanks for your reply

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I am the happiest I have ever been in my life but I still have issues. It hurts when a parent who are supposed to be the ones you can trust does you wrong but I know my mother will never change so I have to move on. Everything I have been through in my life is why I can appreciate the peace and calm I have in my life right now. I know it hurts but remember you did nothing to make her the way she is and don't let her keep controlling your life. It might help you to get some therapy as well. Your siblings also should get some help. It is up to them to make the choice to rise above it but until they are ready sadly there is not much you can do.

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