Trying to be positive while hurting like hell

[motherlode]

You know I am doing really well in my life on many levels. I have two amazing kids, I have some awesome friends, I have a nice house, live in a great city but at times the hurt from my messed up family life just haunts and cripples me. I get one wheel out of the track and honestly just want to lie in the featal position under my blankets until the cloud passes. Thankfully, it rarely happens to me now as contact with my family members have been very limited and the more limited, the healthier I feel. I have kept my own kids well away from the dysfunctional relationships of my own family. But now my brother is very ill I have had to go back. Old issues come up and it is so hard to stay positive. It is so bloody hard to keep your dignity treading emotionally murky waters which brings back so many bad and very sad feelings for me when I am having to interact with the family. I want to yell and scream at them and tell them how much I hate them. If there was a brain operation that would wipe out these memories I have had to endure over the years, I would pay for it in an instant! How do I get over this bs?

[Guest]

I'll be watching this post to see what answers there are. I do understand your hurt - I am going through your past now. I am very hurt by family members, when simply, all you want to do is do the best you can in life. One way that I've found to cope with some issues is reading about the type of problems you are having. There are a lot of books, amazon.com or your local library. Having someone explain to you the why's sometimes helps, even for just a while. Hope things get better for you.

[tenacious]

sorry this is to "Motherlode" not Guest....All you can do is be the best Mum you can be and be loyal to all who earn your trust and love.