sxylonestarcpl Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 I`m new and I`ve been reading some of the threads here so I wanted to post. My wife and I have been married for 19 years (each our only marriage) and we still love each other and have sex 1 - 2 times a week, we have three kids. Here`s the issue: In the third year of our marriage a very strange event happened that has haunted me since. I watched my wife, after we had consumed several adult beverages, have sex with another man. It was consensual of course, I was present. It has never happened again for a number of reasons but I have had this event consume me off and on ever since. My wife is even prettier and sexier as she has gotten older (she`s 44) and men naturally are intrigued by her and many flirt/come on to her when we go out or attend work/holiday parties. It turns me on, especially if she returns it (in fun). I have come to the point where I think I would like to have it happen again but I`m wondering if this is healthy, normal, dangerous, etc. My wife and I have not discussed it. I would never intentionally do anything to hurt her or our relationship but this has even caused me to seek porn sites where this topic is explored. I will not go into any details of the event unless others make it clear that they would like it or find it helpfull. Can I get some feedback on this? Link to post Share on other sites
jonesgirly Posted October 11, 2006 Share Posted October 11, 2006 ........sometimes referred to as CANDAULISM I don't know sxtoomanyletters......I believe in 'each to their own' and whatever is agreed upon and enjoyed between consenting adults is FINE BUT......introducing 'others' into the intimate aspects of your life could turn out badly. It may be better to 'fondly' remember the one experience you've already had! You may also want to discuss this with your wife. She may be TOTALLY against it (which should squelch further investigation on your part), or not ! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 In the third year of our marriage a very strange event happened that has haunted me since. I am sorry, it's not clear to me whether it haunted you in a positive or negative way. If it's negative then you should definitely NOT repeat it; just keep it as a fantasy that turns you on and stick to the innocent flirting. If you feel good about what happened then it's up to you and your wife whether it will happen again or not. I am sure psychology and sexology haven't explored the phenomenon where one partner is excited to watch the other one having sex with a third party but at the same time feels jealousy. Many things in life are not well balanced and make no sense. I don't think this is anything unhealthy or perverted. Sometimes I imagine my husband sleeping with another woman. It excites me and angers me at the same time. In reality, I would never want to see him in this position, but in a strange way the fantasy turns me on. Many people find it exciting to ask questions about sexual experiences with the previous partners of their new partner. Link to post Share on other sites
LVspecB Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 I will not go into any details of the event unless others make it clear that they would like it or find it helpfull. Can I get some feedback on this? Well, I have 2 questions: 1). Was this event an impulsive thing or did the two of you plan it in advance? 2). Have you discussed it (Hey Hon, remember when...) since then? LVspecB Link to post Share on other sites
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