When space is needed.....

[Rick]

I have been involved in a relationship with someone who has been getting out of a marriage. I have been seeing her for about 3 1/2 years now. We met in the military and have been having a long distance relationship for the past 3 years. About six months ago I got out of the military and moved my life to where she was, so that we could have an honest start with each other.

 

However, things are not completely resolved with her husband. Her family rides her about not trying to work things out, he has now moved into the area, and now everything is a mess. I know she cares for him and has a history with him, but I also know that she doesn't want him to hold that position in her life anymore. But she doesn't want to hurt him, disappoint her family, and look like the bad guy. He knows about me and has for a while, her family knows about me and has for a while. Her problem is not knowing what she wants to do, so much as it is facing it and doing it.

 

I have tried to give her space to let her sort out her feelings before, but I am not any good at it. I have fought to be with this woman for over 3 years now, and now that I have the chance to be with her all the time, I don't want to let it go. Today she tells me that she needs to be left alone so that she can settle all of this once and for all. I know she wants to be with me, but part of me is still worried about leaving her alone. I don't want her to think that I don't care, not to mention the fact that I go stir crazy when I can't see her. I have no other friends in the area because I just moved down here. All of the people that I work with are 10+ years older than me, married, and have a family. So it is hard to rely on them to keep me occupied. But I don't want to go out and find anyone else either. I know she is the one for me. So how can I give her space and not have it backfire on me, and at the same time get by each day?

[happy girl]

Find ways of letting her know that you are thinking about her without seeing her. For example send her a letter or put her favorite flower on her car before she goes to work. Be creative, try to think of things that will remind her of something you've done or a special place you've gone together. If you do stuff like this everyday she might think you're stalking her j/k, but once in a while will let her know that you want to give her space and that you want her to choose you. As for occupying your time, I feel your pain (I just moved here too). The best thing to do is join a gym or find a way to get back into a favorite sport. This way when she does come around you'll be in great shape. If you don't play already, I recommend golf, It takes up lots of time and is a great way to meet people. Good Luck, let me know how it goes.

I have been involved in a relationship with someone who has been getting out of a marriage. I have been seeing her for about 3 1/2 years now. We met in the military and have been having a long distance relationship for the past 3 years. About six months ago I got out of the military and moved my life to where she was, so that we could have an honest start with each other. However, things are not completely resolved with her husband. Her family rides her about not trying to work things out, he has now moved into the area, and now everything is a mess. I know she cares for him and has a history with him, but I also know that she doesn't want him to hold that position in her life anymore. But she doesn't want to hurt him, disappoint her family, and look like the bad guy. He knows about me and has for a while, her family knows about me and has for a while. Her problem is not knowing what she wants to do, so much as it is facing it and doing it.

 

I have tried to give her space to let her sort out her feelings before, but I am not any good at it. I have fought to be with this woman for over 3 years now, and now that I have the chance to be with her all the time, I don't want to let it go. Today she tells me that she needs to be left alone so that she can settle all of this once and for all. I know she wants to be with me, but part of me is still worried about leaving her alone. I don't want her to think that I don't care, not to mention the fact that I go stir crazy when I can't see her. I have no other friends in the area because I just moved down here. All of the people that I work with are 10+ years older than me, married, and have a family. So it is hard to rely on them to keep me occupied. But I don't want to go out and find anyone else either. I know she is the one for me. So how can I give her space and not have it backfire on me, and at the same time get by each day?