ironpumper Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Hey y'all, I gotta ask y'all something. I've been wrestling with this for a long long time. I've always had this nagging feeling about the girl I've been "in love" with for the last 4 years. this 'feeling" is like I'm SURE beyond any doubt that she IS the one. Being the cynic I am, I blew it off as wishful thinking, imagination, whatever, but it persisted beyond anything else, all the talks, arguments, doubt, fear, heartache and heartbreak. I came to know it as an 'angel whispering in my ear" telling me to just ld on, keep believing..be patient. Again I thought it was just hopeful wishful thinking and I figured after all this time, if we were meant to be together, we would be. I got wailed on by family and friends about it, sought therapy, everything in the book..I tried to forget about it, and her, as she wasn't 'interested in anything serious" (she's 'emotionally unavailable') and suggested I move on. I agreed, and did..for a while.. However..Circumstances seem to keep bringing us together. We've talked and talked, ,but we can't seem to get away from this whole thing. Believe me, I tried. Still, the angel was whispering, and tonight I heard it again. It's a very warm, encouraging feeling, very reassuring..Has anybody ever experienced this?? Is it wishful thinking or COULD there actually be something to this? I just keep feeling like I'm supposed to DO something or something important is going to happen, and she's a HUGE part of whatever it is.. I just don't know what!!!It makes me absolutely nuts (YA THINK?) One more really bizarre thing about this. This girl and I make eye contact no matter how far away she is from me, as long as we're in the same vicinity.. For example, She works in a mall.At a gamestore. I walk by, on the other side of the mall, and whatever she's doing at the time, she turns and looks directly at me. She'll be helping a customer, and I walk by (the store's by the parking deck and I go to the gym at the mall) and she'll stop and look directly at me. I swear y'all, it's CREEPY..there were 300 people in the food court once. I swear this happened, that crowd sorta 'split' and there,she was, in the middle of the crowd, looking right at me...I had shivers...EERIE!! I can be walking somewhere in the mall and "feel' like she's around, and she is, usually looking at me. We sort of "sense' each other, sometimes holding the gaze for 5 or 6 seconds..This has been going on for nearly four and a half years. Sounds like some weird obsession doesn't it? BUT I've had other girlfriends, gone on several dates, and did the "no contact", thinking I'd moved on and got over it, but inevitably, something happens or circumstances seem to keep us together. It's such a bizarre experience, and frankly, it scares me stupid. I mean, it's sort of COOL, but I don't want to continue with this for another four years. I just have this feeling that it's not going to be over for a LONG LONG time...They could make a movie out of this!!! I read over this, and can imagine what y'all are thinking...It does sound like 'obsessive compulsive behavior' or something psychological..I did see a therapist for about 3 months, and was reassured that I was fine. Just 'in love', that I was just pushing the boundaries is all..ergo the "No contact" periods (there were several) and we did reconcile, several times, and I feel we're about ready to do the reconcile thing again. I have always been the one to say I was leaving, that I was too old for her, that we weren't going to ever have a solid relationship, etc...but one way or the other, we reconciled and forgot about it and went back to the way things were... Sorry y'all-I know this is long and weird..I'm just really lost and confused about all this. I don't know what that "nagging notion" is, or the "angel whispering in my ear" is either. It sounds so completely ludicrous, childlike and silly. Hell, I'm sort of embarrassed to write to ya'll about it...I just don't know or understand what it's all about and what it all means...It's just something really strange and wonderful..I met someone else at the gym and am trying to focus my efforts on starting a friendship and possibly more...but I'm wondering, should I even TRY? Is it going to be the same with her as it was with the other girls? Would it be fair to me to even try with her if this other "thing" just keeps on? I bet y'all think I've gone COMPLETELY off my rocker, but MAN, what a ride it's been..the STORIES I could tell y'all... Link to post Share on other sites
ImInPain Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Sounds a bit surreal. Maybe you are imagining it as it is someone you can't have. Why don't you sit down and have a heart to heart with this girl and lay it out on the table? Maybe she feels the same way and because of the age gap is afraid. Communication is key here. Go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 you never actually say you dated this girl, did you? This sounds very creepy to me. Is this a girl you like or a girl you were in a relationship with? If you were in a relationship with her, was it a proper one? Were you a couple? Kiss, have sex, have dreams together, stay at each others houses, live together? is this all in your head? Link to post Share on other sites
simon_uk Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 you never actually say you dated this girl, did you? This sounds very creepy to me. Is this a girl you like or a girl you were in a relationship with? If you were in a relationship with her, was it a proper one? Were you a couple? Kiss, have sex, have dreams together, stay at each others houses, live together? is this all in your head? Did you actually read his post? He said they broke up and reconciled a few times and it was an age difference issue that caused the breakups. Admin! Are you not supposed to screen these posts from anonymous Guests? There are so many mean and critical people posting on this site it is untrue. Do you people not realise people here are looking for help not somebody to put them down and make them feel worse! As for your dilemma Ironpumper, I dont know what to suggest other than stick with the NC and see how things go with the new girl. Best of luck Simon Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpumper Posted October 12, 2006 Author Share Posted October 12, 2006 Thanks y'all-Hey Simon, I get this all the time from people who don't understand, and I know it does seem surreal, as Iminpain suggests. It's hard to explain things sometimes. I think a lot of this is me, not knowing which way to turn or what to do. Our age gap really bugs me, but she says she "really hasn't thought about it" when I talked to her about it. Last time we talked and I told her I was "just too old" for her, she replied with "what am I supposed to do? forget about everything that happened the past 3 years?".... So I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing. See what happens and won't push anything. Jeez, I'm so CRAZY about her, but scared to death to do anything about it....Yeah, guest, it is creepy...more so for ME than anything... Link to post Share on other sites
simon_uk Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 SO from the osund of it, it was you who ended things with her and she wasnt happy about your decision? Is that right? Dude, whats the problem with the age difference? I know it can be scary. My last ex was 25, I am 37. I thought from the offset thetre may be problems and there was, she left me 7 weeks ago. But I still went through with it, because unless you try you dont know what will happen. Quit your worrying about 'what ifs' talk to her, sort it out and be with her. You may be missing out on a lifetime of happiness. Simon Link to post Share on other sites
bella_girl Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 ok hang on... I'm confused... You said you have a concern about the age gap and told her that you were "just too old" for her. AND she replied with "what am I supposed to do? forget about everything that happened the past 3 years?".... That to me sounds like she has feelings for you? Age is immaterial (depending exactly how old she is!). It is more important what stage of life you are in and what you want. Why not ask her out? Sound her out on her current feelings and examine why you have concerns about the age difference. I know people who are 15 years apart but they love each other and it works. Link to post Share on other sites
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