what to do

[Bishop162]

I have been involved with a woman for almost two years. In that time she has been consistantly involved with other men

 

Although they are never around and she has only had at least four other sexual relationships with one which lasted about four months. I knew she dated but never beleived she had one night sexual stands. Upon learning of the acutal sexual relationships. I told her I was not particualry interested in continuing under those conditons. She said they meant nothing to her that it was part of being completely free. She added it has nothing to do with me. that i am the person she wants to be with. She loves me and would tell me it eouldnever happen againif thats what i wnated but it would not be honest and she would not be herself. She closed by saying I am theone she loves and that is why we are together. I love her but dont know if I can continue becasue of the outside relationships. Have I lost my mind?

[Tony T]

I'd say you need to dismiss this lady from your life at once. If she desires to be "completely free" as she puts it, she has no place in a committed relationship...if that's what you're supposed to be having here.

 

This is not only a matter of your being cheated upon in the future, but it could be a matter of your life. Even if she uses protection, it is possible for her to pick up certain sexually transmitted diseases that could cause you major problems or end your life.

 

If you're looking for a woman who loves you and cares about you, this is not the one. If she was crazy about you, she would have no desire to screw around on you. And how can you be absolutely sure she's telling you the truth about the number of times she's been with other people.

 

On the other hand, if she was with another guy sexually for four months and you knew about it you don't really have much room to complain to her.

 

You have not made it clear whether the two of you are in a committed relationship. You only say you have been "involved" with her. You also don't say whether or not you are in love with her, but that doesn't really make any difference I guess at this point. If you love yourself and want to live a healthy and fulfilling life on this planet, you'll get away from a lady who spreads herself around sexually like this. And get away fast!

 

You say you've been with this lady for two years. I'd say she considers her relationship with you pretty casual. Of course, if you consider it the same the only thing you have to work out is the sexual exclusivity...and, even then, if she's going to be dating around you can bet she's going to be sleeping around.

 

I'm sorry I can't do better than this but you have not accurately defined exactly what your relationship with her is, other than involved. If you are planning on marrying her in the future, sorry about that. She does not have sufficient respect for you for that purpose.

 

If you just want to continue having fun with her, be sure you both get checked regularly by a doctor for STD's.

[ok]

So she loves you and wants to be with you, but she needs stray dick too?

 

What's up with that???

 

Reverse the roles and most women would not put up with that line. So why should you?

 

The key here is the difference between committed and noncommited relationships. Honesty should be insisted upon regardless.

 

Unlike the "freelove" 70s you can die now from being promiscuious.

 

protect yourself and move on to a woman who will be true to you and you alone.

[anonymous regular]

I personally dislike the whole monogamy deal, but that's one of the bases of christian culture.

 

I think what matters is whether u can be happy with her, while she sleeps around.

 

If you are - stay, and make sure she gets checked for STDs, uses protection, etc.

 

If you can't be happy like this - no choice but to move on.

 

I dont think her lifestyle choise is unnatural, but it doesn't matter - all that matters is whether or not YOU can be happy with her, just the way she is.

 

Good luck!

I have been involved with a woman for almost two years. In that time she has been consistantly involved with other men Although they are never around and she has only had at least four other sexual relationships with one which lasted about four months. I knew she dated but never beleived she had one night sexual stands. Upon learning of the acutal sexual relationships. I told her I was not particualry interested in continuing under those conditons. She said they meant nothing to her that it was part of being completely free. She added it has nothing to do with me. that i am the person she wants to be with. She loves me and would tell me it eouldnever happen againif thats what i wnated but it would not be honest and she would not be herself. She closed by saying I am theone she loves and that is why we are together. I love her but dont know if I can continue becasue of the outside relationships. Have I lost my mind?