I'm hurting please read this!

[i'm hurting]

by accident i found a letter sent to my boyfriend by his dad in which he responded him by saying that it hurt him to know that i'm not willing to join his faith.

 

I am catholic and my guy is baptist. we both practice our religions with the difference tha he's been to bible study and i have never done that because catholics don't have that.

 

His dad advices him that he should break up with me because it will hurt our future kids later and it would be better to do it now than later when we are married.

 

My guy and I agreed on seeing both of our religious leader to find out more about each other faith. however he doesn't have a pastor in his church and hasn't taken me to another pastor. he has seen my priest but apparently he thinks the priest doesn't know much!

 

He told his dad that in religious matter i function like a 3rd grader and his dad replied that that is not right. i'm hurt because i can't take a bible and studied it myself when i'm going to college and never in my life i was taught how to interpret a bible. At the same time, it hurts me to know that his dad advices him like that.

 

I love him but i think our agreement on "finding out" about each other relationship is a lie because he thinks my priest doesn't know much and his dad wants me to pull to their side. Please help me how do i handle this?

 

By the way, i found that letter because he left it on a table when i was cleaning an picking up papers!

[Laurynn]

Hi there,

 

First I gotta say....seems like more than a coincidence that that letter just happened to be lying around like that. I wonder if maybe he intended for you to find it...so you'd read it, maybe because he didn't have the courage to tell you what he and his Dad felt, to your face?

 

I can speak from some experience here. I was raised Catholic. Even went to Catholic High School. When I was in my late teens, I joined a Baptist "youth group" (mostly cuz my church didn't have such a thing)..... I found the Baptist kids to be rather rude.....you could tell they thought they were a lot 'better' than me, because to them I was just a 'lost Catholic.' There was a real sense of religious superiority there, on their part. Which if you think about is, is ANYTHING but "Christian"....and it's nothing to do with what they claim to stand for, right?

 

I simply don't have time for people like that these days. God looks at each of us, and our hearts, as individuals....whether we're Catholic or Lutheran or Episcopalian or Pentacostal or whatever, he loves us all the same. Now if only silly humans could figure this out.

 

If your b/f and his Dad think you are 'below them' because your faith/religious practices are not in keeping with theirs, well that is their problem. They obviously need to learn a thing or two about "not judging" other people.

 

Don't feel bad because you don't go to Bible studies...or that you don't know the Bible inside and out. Because you don't, that doesn't make you less of a person/Christian. Don't let them make you feel that you are less.

 

Your b/f obviously knew you were of a different denomination (church) when he began dating you, right?

 

Seeing how this letter was left out, and easy for you to come across, as difficult as it might be, I'd bring it up...let your b/f know you found it and read it...and that you're very hurt......and remind him that you are who you are and that God loves you just as much as he loves him....and that if your b/f can't accept you for who you are, then someone else will.

 

Curious..why doesn't his church have a pastor? Don't all baptist churches have one? Who leads the congregation if there isn't one?

 

Even though I don't consider myself Catholic any more (I am more of a non-denominational person), I vividly recall my teenage days, when the Baptist kids would make smart cracks about the priests....and us drinking the wine at communion, etc etc. Any chance they had to get a good smart crack in, they did. How rude and how wrong. Sorta like your b/f thinking that your priest doesn't know anything. Yes, I'll admit...there are some staunch old priests out there ......who are back in the age of the dinosaurs......who are so caught up in the rituals and dogma of the Catholic church that they might seem a little outdated......but that doesn't mean they're all like that......and regardless, a priest is still someone who's devoted his life to serving God and the people in the church. Your b/f has no right to mock the priest..that's NOT at all what Christianity is about, and you know that.

 

I don't know how long you 2 have been going out for..and what ages you both are.......but if your b/f and his Dad have such a hard time with you being Catholic, then you're really best to break it off now.......or stand the chance of always being made to feel inferior to them.......feeling judged.

 

I hope you and he can talk......and that he'll respect you JUST AS YOU ARE!

 

Laurynn

[Tony T]

First of all, this is none of his father's business. Unless he has asked for his father's input, his dad ought to butt out. This may be a sign of things to come...his father involving himself in you and your partner's personal affairs. That's not a good thing.

 

Second, while to all of you this religious issue may be a significant thing, it't not at all. Mature people of all religions can exist together and be just fine. It's the idiots and morons of the world who fight over it, who start wars over it, who bomb each other over it and who let different relgions interfere with their personal relationships.

 

Where children are concerned, it makes no difference what church they go to or what religion they subscribe to, yours or his. In the end, they will grow up and decide for themselves exactly what kind of relationship they want with a higher power. Some of them may go the Catholic way, others the Protestant, some may go into metaphysics...you may even have a child who studies witchcraft. It happens all the time.

 

If the two of you can agree to respect each other's religious beliefs, and both of you are Christian so that shouldn't be very hard, that's really all you need. If the two of you aren't open minded and compromising enough to work this out, you ought not to be getting married.

 

And go together to his father and tell him the decision the two of you have made...set him straight. Don't let him know you have seen this letter...just tell him how you're going to work this out.

 

If your guy won't go along with it, dump him and his dad to and avoid a lifetime of pain.

 

I relish to see the day when these kinds of issues no longer surface in human relationships.

[unseen]

many religions one God

Hi there, First I gotta say....seems like more than a coincidence that that letter just happened to be lying around like that. I wonder if maybe he intended for you to find it...so you'd read it, maybe because he didn't have the courage to tell you what he and his Dad felt, to your face? I can speak from some experience here. I was raised Catholic. Even went to Catholic High School. When I was in my late teens, I joined a Baptist "youth group" (mostly cuz my church didn't have such a thing)..... I found the Baptist kids to be rather rude.....you could tell they thought they were a lot 'better' than me, because to them I was just a 'lost Catholic.' There was a real sense of religious superiority there, on their part. Which if you think about is, is ANYTHING but "Christian"....and it's nothing to do with what they claim to stand for, right? I simply don't have time for people like that these days. God looks at each of us, and our hearts, as individuals....whether we're Catholic or Lutheran or Episcopalian or Pentacostal or whatever, he loves us all the same. Now if only silly humans could figure this out. If your b/f and his Dad think you are 'below them' because your faith/religious practices are not in keeping with theirs, well that is their problem. They obviously need to learn a thing or two about "not judging" other people.

 

Don't feel bad because you don't go to Bible studies...or that you don't know the Bible inside and out. Because you don't, that doesn't make you less of a person/Christian. Don't let them make you feel that you are less. Your b/f obviously knew you were of a different denomination (church) when he began dating you, right? Seeing how this letter was left out, and easy for you to come across, as difficult as it might be, I'd bring it up...let your b/f know you found it and read it...and that you're very hurt......and remind him that you are who you are and that God loves you just as much as he loves him....and that if your b/f can't accept you for who you are, then someone else will. Curious..why doesn't his church have a pastor? Don't all baptist churches have one? Who leads the congregation if there isn't one? Even though I don't consider myself Catholic any more (I am more of a non-denominational person), I vividly recall my teenage days, when the Baptist kids would make smart cracks about the priests....and us drinking the wine at communion, etc etc. Any chance they had to get a good smart crack in, they did. How rude and how wrong. Sorta like your b/f thinking that your priest doesn't know anything. Yes, I'll admit...there are some staunch old priests out there ......who are back in the age of the dinosaurs......who are so caught up in the rituals and dogma of the Catholic church that they might seem a little outdated......but that doesn't mean they're all like that......and regardless, a priest is still someone who's devoted his life to serving God and the people in the church. Your b/f has no right to mock the priest..that's NOT at all what Christianity is about, and you know that.

 

I don't know how long you 2 have been going out for..and what ages you both are.......but if your b/f and his Dad have such a hard time with you being Catholic, then you're really best to break it off now.......or stand the chance of always being made to feel inferior to them.......feeling judged. I hope you and he can talk......and that he'll respect you JUST AS YOU ARE! Laurynn