Sephorelle Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Hello! My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years before he left two weeks ago to go work on the Oil Rigs. We had an absolutly amazing relationship..of course we argued but there was never any question in both our minds that we wouldn't be together forever. We spent 24/7 together before he left. I am 19 and he is 23. Initially he was taking a year off school to go away for a year to make some money so that we could move out together. The first two weeks of him being gone were very sweet. I got texts everyday, and a call once a week. He working 13 hour days. Last saturday, I didn't hear from him at all, but the next day we were texting and got in an argument, and I tried to bring something up, and he got really mad and annoyed, not like he usually would. He began to tell me I have no idea how tough it is out there and he's just so exhausted he doesn't have time to argue when we do talk. The next night he said he doesn't know what happened but he think he needs time, and he's really confused about his feelings about everything. He proposed that we hold off on our relationship until he gets back in town, and I said no. His first week there he told me to book a flight to see him in a month and that he'd book it off. After our argument he said his boss won't give him time off that weekend because he'll be out of town and doesn't know when I can come because this construction job is all over the place. We sort of made an agreement to make it work but that I have to realise how busy he is and may not hear from him everyday. His voice still sounded pretty cold. The next day after our talk he didn't contact me, as well as today. I'm just really not sure if I'm getting strung along, or if I just need to bear with him while he settles in. He will also is not returning his parents calls. Maybe he realised in these two weeks how nice it is to not have a girlfriend always needing to know everything. This is so unlike him, but I've never heard him sound so out of love... Any advice is greatly appreciated... Link to post Share on other sites
rckt365 Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 The line in your post that starts out with "The first two weeks ... were very sweet" REALLY struck a chord with me, so I just had to tell you that I know where you're coming from. My situation is a relatively new relationship, and one in which finds us separated by 2000 miles. Recently she came to visit me for a week, we spent 24/7 together, and although we had a few arguments/emotional discussions, we both really did enjoy EVERY minute (like we always have). The whole week immediately after the trip, EVERY day we'd either chat on the phone or text message each other or email and even (unknowingly) sent each-other letters in the mail, all expressing just how much we missed each other/cared about each other/how much we were thinking about the other ... BUT since then, (it's been a whole week now), she's COMPLETELY disappeared (like she has done before) ... NO communication of ANY KIND ! I must say her behavior REALLY makes me wonder how much she does care ? Wouldn't she want to talk to me if she really did think of me as much as she says ? In the end I have to choose between giving her all the space she needs OR I need to let her 'go' for good. I've decided that I will give her ALL the 'space' she needs, because if it happens to be a permanent space (from me) that she needs - then in the end it really isn't ANY different than the other 'option' - EXCEPT that I'm not guaranteeing that it will end - to me SHE is worth at least that to me - and so is our relationship ! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 Hello, The only thing in life that is constant is change. I can relate to being young and in love and leaving the area. Unfortunately things change sometimes. And they are supposed to. It's difficult for him to explain how he feels because of his recent changes in location, job and friendships. Please try to understand that this guy loves you and he probably always will. But you have got to remember on thing. Please don't make him lie to you by asking him questions that he is not ready to talk to you about. Take it easy on him and begin to find friends in your area so you can enjoy life.and have fun. There is a big world out there and you can be happy in it. Yes. I know you miss him and I'm sure he misses you. You should cherish what you guys had and continue to be his friend for life. That is so important. That will make the girls that he meets jealous of you and he will appreciate you for it too. Just try to be more understanding. Allow him to live as he chooses. Maybe he will visit you soon. But in the mean time, get more friends. Remember the 2 of you have had a great relationship. Continue to be his friend if nothing more. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
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