Need ....had a threesome

[richfield_guy]

I am a 28 year old guy and my girl is 24. I have a close friend that is close to 40. Me and my girl have two kids together. I have trust issues to begin with and so does she. I have been trying to work through them, but it has been hard. I have been talking about having a threesome with another girl with my girl for a while and she said it was fine. We haven't found one yet. I kept getting the impression that she thought my friend was cute, and he was giving off vibes he wanted to have a threesome. So last weekend I was drunk and I kept pressuring my girl asking her about if she thought he was cute and wanted him. She said she did if it was okay with me. Me at the time wasn't thinking right and agreed. As we went home he was looking all forward to it and I was sobering up. I started to dread the idea, but went through with it anyways. She was giving me head and he was getting her from behind. She was more into him then me. I finally told him to finish then I would. He came quick. When me and her got into the bedroom by ourselves she said he was about a inch longer than me and said she had almost got off with him. She was begging to go back for another round with him. This pissed me off and I told her I didn't like seeing her with another man. Now I can't get this out of my head. She claims she loves me and I told her that we would drop him as a friend and she agreed. Well he has tried calling several times. Today he calls and leaves a message and she gets mad because I won't call him back. She keeps telling me that I have been friends with him longer than I have known her. I threw it in her face if she wanted to call him then go ahead. What should I do?????

[Sup]

Was he getting her in her bottom, or the other area? Anyway, You opened a BIG can of worms, that WILL be hard to close, this kind of thing must never happen in marriages. You better go to Marriage Counseling, if you want to save the marriage. However it may be already too late, If she persists, you may want to file for Divorce.

[Cheshire Cat]

I agree that it's better that your gf and this guy do not meet again,

and I can understand why you want to drop him as a friend,

 

She keeps telling me that I have been friends with him longer than I have known her. I threw it in her face if she wanted to call him then go ahead. What should I do?????

 

but I think she was talking in your interest here.

 

From reading your post I got the impression that you are trying to blame what happened mainly on her, while you *both* had responsability in what happened. I dare say you played a bigger part than her in what happened.

 

You were the one introducing the idea of having a threesome.

You were the one pressuring your gf to admit she found your friend interesting.

It was you who suggested the threesome with him.

When you felt unconfortable, you decided to go go through with it anyway instead of saying it was no longer okay for you.

 

Unfortunately you also were the one who could not handle the situation.

 

My advice for you is: try to realize what a big part you played in what happened, see if you and your gf can forget what happened, never have a threesome again since it's clear you can't handle it.

[kjl933]

If you both have "trust issues" to begin with, why the hell would you EVEN consider a threesome?

 

While he was "getting her from behind" did he happen to find your head? Bucause it was apparently up someones ass. Sorry no constructive comments here!

[whichwayisup]

I have trust issues to begin with and so does she.

 

Exactly as 933 said, why would you even consider a threesome seeing as you BOTH have trust issues! This makes NO sense to me.

 

You two opened the door without really talking about the deed itself. Drunk or not, now you both are in a mess of a situation...You want NOTHING more to do with this again and for her, it's peaked her curosity and she wants more.

 

Get to couples therapy and most of all, THINK OF YOUR KIDS in all this. IS having sex with other people outside of your relationship worth this heartache?

 

Tell her no more outside pleasures and let her know why. I know you regret what happened, but it's done. talk to your friend and tell him it was a big mistake and stuff like that isn't going to happen ever again. Don't blame your friend because he enjoyed it...ofcourse he did! But you owe it him and your friendship to talk to him about how you feel and make it clear NOT to even attempt coming around for sex again. With or without you present.

 

Good luck and I do hope you and your girl work through this.

[Flyin in Clouds]

I am a 28 year old guy and my girl is 24. I have a close friend that is close to 40. Me and my girl have two kids together.

 

Not married? Have other kids seperately?

 

I have trust issues to begin with and so does she.

Why?

 

I have been trying to work through them, but it has been hard. I have been talking about having a threesome with another girl with my girl for a while and she said it was fine. We haven't found one yet.

She has trust issues but is fine with a FMF threesome? What am I missing here?

 

I kept getting the impression that she thought my friend was cute, and he was giving off vibes he wanted to have a threesome.

Well of course he would. If you were in his shoes wouldn't you?

 

 

last weekend I was drunk and I kept pressuring my girl asking her about if she thought he was cute and wanted him. She said she did if it was okay with me.

So you were testing her right? Never a good idea. Careful what you ask for you just might get it.

 

Me at the time wasn't thinking right and agreed.

Join AA. If you get drunk often and aren't "thinking right" you might do other stupid things you come to regret.

As we went home he was looking all forward to it and I was sobering up. I started to dread the idea, but went through with it anyways. She was giving me head and he was getting her from behind.

Hey sounds like fun... what's your problem...

She was more into him then me.

Oh, the old greeneyed monster. And you know this because?

I finally told him to finish then I would. He came quick. When me and her got into the bedroom by ourselves she said he was about a inch longer than me and said she had almost got off with him. She was begging to go back for another round with him. This pissed me off and I told her I didn't like seeing her with another man. Now I can't get this out of my head.

Yeah, careful what you ask for. People that do the 3some game have to be pretty secure in the relationship, i.e. never a good idea if you got trust issues, insecurities of any kind, like worried about your size...

 

She claims she loves me and I told her that we would drop him as a friend and she agreed. Well he has tried calling several times. Today he calls and leaves a message and she gets mad because I won't call him back. She keeps telling me that I have been friends with him longer than I have known her. I threw it in her face if she wanted to call him then go ahead. What should I do?????

Go with the flow maybe? You let the genie out of the bottle with your lust for another woman with the FMF thing.

 

And you need to talk to your friend and tell him that you were drunk, and as you sobered up you started hating what was going on. It wasn't the fun experience you thought it would be and that you don't want to have any more contact with him. But if he appologizes you might listen to him.

 

What is done is done. Can you make lemonade out of this lemon? I don't know that's up to you. Would it help you if you did have the FMF you originally wanted? Then you might feel you weren't "cheated".