Woggle Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 As we all know marriage is a big step and you should know your spouse well before you take that step. Some of us test them to see what they are about including myself. I made my wife sign a 20 page prenup. It was about protecting myself but it was also a test. To me her willingness to sign away her rights to all my stuff spoke volumes about her and believe me my lawyer wrote up a prenup that is pretty much bulletproof. The 2nd test was unplanned and also spoke volumes about her character. An incident happened that ended up landing my ex-wife in jail and my wife stood by my side through the entire thing. Her life was possibly in danger because of this and she stayed to support me even though I asked her to go to her parents house until the wedding for her safety. Also I have good instincts about people and she gives me good vibes. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 The 2nd test was unplanned and also spoke volumes about her character. An incident happened that ended up landing my ex-wife in jail and my wife stood by my side through the entire thing. Her life was possibly in danger because of this and she stayed to support me even though I asked her to go to her parents house until the wedding for her safety. Also I have good instincts about people and she gives me good vibes. :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 :laugh: A worthy response Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I made my wife sign a 20 page prenup. If you made your wife do it, then, yes, this does speak volumes about her "character." Hopefully she won't resent it. Her life was possibly in danger because of this and she stayed to support me even though I asked her to go to her parents house until the wedding for her safety. THAT test is the one that says she loves you. Also I have good instincts about people If I have read your past posts carefully, you not only have not felt good vibes about women in general...I believe that you were at one point right before the wedding ready to leave this woman whom you have good vibes about. I certainly hope things go well for you. Remember, marriage will have its ups and downs. Just because we do not love our wife or have poor vibes about her does not mean that we should leave her. Love and marriage are a choice...not a feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Wow, 20page prenup! I wouldn't ask my wife to sign anything. Maybe that makes me a sucker But I figure if I don't know her enough to walk down the aisle with her, I don't know enough about her to marry her. Then again, that's just me. I may be the stupid one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 Wow, 20page prenup! I wouldn't ask my wife to sign anything. Maybe that makes me a sucker But I figure if I don't know her enough to walk down the aisle with her, I don't know enough about her to marry her. Then again, that's just me. I may be the stupid one. I did not plan on it being that many pages but my lawyer made it and it ended it being that long. He claims it is bulletproof and he has a great reputation so I trust him. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I did not plan on it being that many pages but my lawyer made it and it ended it being that long. He claims it is bulletproof and he has a great reputation so I trust him. What did her lawyer say about it ?.. this is one of the keys for it to be bulletproof.. seperate lawyers Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Wow, 20page prenup! I wouldn't ask my wife to sign anything. Maybe that makes me a sucker But I figure if I don't know her enough to walk down the aisle with her, I don't know enough about her to marry her. Then again, that's just me. I may be the stupid one. I don't think you're a sucker. I agree with everything you said. As for tests..no. I didn't need to make up some fake tests to see what my husband's character was all about. The way he lived his life and the way he treated others told me all I needed to know. Past behavior can tell a lot about one's future behavior and one's character. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 What did her lawyer say about it ?.. this is one of the keys for it to be bulletproof.. seperate lawyers She has never been divorced so she does not have a divorce lawyer. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 New Jersey law .. this is a slice on prenups.. "Each party must have his or her own lawyer. Many people mistakenly believe that they can have one lawyer represent both of them." So it isn't bulletproof... although it may be a strong prenup but not bulletproof.. maybe this is why she signed it so easily Google new jersey prenup law then go down about 2 links Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 New Jersey law .. this is a slice on prenups.. "Each party must have his or her own lawyer. Many people mistakenly believe that they can have one lawyer represent both of them." So it isn't bulletproof... although it may be a strong prenup but not bulletproof.. maybe this is why she signed it so easily Google new jersey prenup law then go down about 2 links Maybe but she has her own assets so it is not like she wants to take me for mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Maybe but she has her own assets so it is not like she wants to take me for mine. You are right.... Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 What did her lawyer say about it ?.. this is one of the keys for it to be bulletproof.. seperate lawyers She has never been divorced so she does not have a divorce lawyer. *sadly looks down and shakes head from side to side* Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 *sadly looks down and shakes head from side to side* What is so sad about that? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Maybe but she has her own assets so it is not like she wants to take me for mine. By the way.. I would never make a future spouse sign a prenup.. yes they do have their purpose and I do have assets.. but I think the risk of breaking the trust bond outweighs the worth of my assets.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 By the way.. I would never make a future spouse sign a prenup.. yes they do have their purpose and I do have assets.. but I think the risk of breaking the trust bond outweighs the worth of my assets.. I wanted to make sure I could trust her. I know she talked to a lawyer but she doesn't have a regular lawyer like I do. I reccomend mine to my friends and all of that. I am no expert on law but the prenup was legitimate in court. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 What is so sad about that? If you read my link that I suggested you Google you will find that a prenup in NJ must meet 3 pre-requirements to hold up as valid in court.. then they can proceed and look into the other requirements Number 2 is separate counsel... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Wog, I think you need to focus on the now, and just enjoy life with your wife. Don't think about the pre-nup at all, it shouldn't even BE in your thoughts...And as for testing your wife, I hope you don't put her through anymore tests. Life has it's ups and downs, good times and bad times...Couples fight, argue and that's just a fact. I just hope that you don't take those things out of context and think that your marriage might be on the rocks if you two hit a low period in your marriage... Be happy Woggle. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 WOGGLE...these constant postings about your wife and her virtues lead me to believe that you are quite insecure about the relationship and the marriage in general. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted October 14, 2006 Author Share Posted October 14, 2006 WOGGLE...these constant postings about your wife and her virtues lead me to believe that you are quite insecure about the relationship and the marriage in general. I don't know if I will ever be able to fully trust a woman. I would like to and that is part of why I am in therapy but there are some trust issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Flyin in Clouds Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Prenup - good idea... Why? Lets see Woggle has been divorced before, right? (he has a divorce lawyer). So he's been taken to the cleaners by a former spouse and had to rebuild. He says he isn't sure he can trust women - any woman. I can understand that as can any man that's had a woman betray him. The problem is that when a marriage starts to have problems it becomes a power struggle. If a woman can take half or more of a man's assets, she has a lot of leverage in that struggle. And that can make "saving" the marriage all the harder because a man doesn't have the power anymore. If a woman can break a man financially, take away his business that he's spent his life building, she has the upper hand. Best to not give her that power, because we all know power corrupts. Link to post Share on other sites
LVspecB Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Best to not give her that power, because we all know power corrupts. I understand the concept behind prenups, but.. If I read your advice correctly, you counsel not to give women power over your finances because it can be used against you. But off the top of my head, in a marriage you do give her "power" over: - your sexual happiness - your emotional needs - your childrens development and well-being - your care if incapacitated - your dwelling And she can be trusted (and not corrupted) with this power? But your need a prenup to protect your checking account and business? Why not limit your choice of potential spouses to those you can trust? To put it bluntly, if I trust my wife with my d*ick, I trust her with my checkbook... LVspecB Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 I see no issue with prenups and I'm female. I have had a couple of dirt poor guys in my life and if I'd been dumb enough to put my things in their names I'd be living in a ditch now. But neither left without things - they ended up with more than they brought, in fact. But even if I had zip and some guy was wealthy, I'd do the prenup - to show I am trustworthy. To me, a prenup is a way of saying 'you can count on me to not screw you over' - I have zero problem with that. I find it wierd that people think prenups show lack of trust. They're just plain old good sense once you both have assets of your own. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 What is so sad about that? Art_Critic and I are on the same page regarding this... If you read my link that I suggested you Google you will find that a prenup in NJ must meet 3 pre-requirements to hold up as valid in court.. then they can proceed and look into the other requirements Number 2 is separate counsel... And if you want to make the prenup even more *zing* bulletproof, you *zing* sign a post *zing* nuptial agreement as *zing* well *whack!*. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 My interpretation of this...a little more bluntly said than before..is that she is showing you that SHE trusts you and is willing to do what you say, but the fact that you had her sign a prenup shows that you do not trust her completely. And yes, you have been divorced...this would make a big difference. Personally I am against prenups. But I have not been divorced. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts