mtnfml Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 I am a Christian with a very strong faith in the personal realtionship with Jesus. I have been very involved with a church and also sing Gospel music in several churches. Over the last few years I have found out that there were 2 pastors that I trusted who have done some terrible things. They both molested 2 of my daughters. Separate churches, separate times, separate men. I was totally devastated as not only were these guys friends and mentors, but I was also close to their wives and families. After sharing this with some others I found out that this is not an uncommon thing,I know the Catholic Church has been rocked by scandal in this area but now I see that all churches are subject to this kind of thing. I have stopped attending church for services because all I can do is look at the pastors and think,"What is in your closet you pig".This has broken my heart as I have always gotten a lot out of attendance. NOw I talk to Jesus daily through prayer and know that he will help us through this but I do miss the fellowship. If there are any other Christians going through the same thing reading this please let me know how you are dealing with it. NOt only has this destroyed my trust, my daughters have to deal with this also . I admire their faith in Christ through this as they remain very strong, but it has made them not trust anyone. How can I regain trust in Gods people? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Pastors are just humans. What they do is not the fault of their churches. I have known a lot of priests who were all wonderful people and never did a bad thing to a kid or adult. You, unfortunately, ran into some bad ones. Just remember that pastors are human beings and that nothing human is perfect. It's not God's fault that Adam and Eve ate the apple. Unfortunately, the lesson you all learned is that you have to be very wary around people until you know them well - even 'religious' people. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 They both molested 2 of my daughters. Separate churches, separate times, separate men. I was totally devastated as not only were these guys friends and mentors, but I was also close to their wives and families. I feel where you're coming from, though not as a parent, but as an employee of the Catholic Church. There are some truly horrible people out there who misuse their status as men and women of God to abuse helpless individuals, and they MUST be prosecuted both under civil and church law. even as you feel the pain of those acts committed by those men toward your children, bear in mind that those abusers are the exception, that most people who minister in the name of God and Christ will go out of their way to protect those very people they serve. That while a few bad apples may ruin the barrel, there are still good apples contained in that barrel. is there anyone one of authority in your church (a bishop, a head of a conference) that you can report these abuse cases to? So that reparation can be made in the form of healing for your whole family? And so that the abusers are removed from ministry? In light of the sex abuse scandals in the Catholic Church in recent years, we've not only had to clean house, but set up protocol and even a hotline so that someone with these concerns – whether abuse has occurred or if someone just has questions – can contact a diocesan official to prevent abuse. I know it's a matter of "day late, dollar short" for those who've already been made to suffer, but it's made those of us in ministry more aware of our responsibility to children and other helpless individuals. if you don't feel you have recourse in your church, contact the nearest Catholic Church for advice on how to handle all of this – someone will be able to help you and your family move forward, maybe even help you find a faith community you can worship with. give your girls a hug from this 'Shacker, and let them know that there are people out there who will do their best to help them anyway they can, and that there are good people working for God even when it doesn't seem so. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 I am a Christian with a very strong faith in the personal realtionship with Jesus. I have been very involved with a church and also sing Gospel music in several churches. Over the last few years I have found out that there were 2 pastors that I trusted who have done some terrible things. They both molested 2 of my daughters. Separate churches, separate times, separate men. I was totally devastated as not only were these guys friends and mentors, but I was also close to their wives and families. After sharing this with some others I found out that this is not an uncommon thing,I know the Catholic Church has been rocked by scandal in this area but now I see that all churches are subject to this kind of thing. I have stopped attending church for services because all I can do is look at the pastors and think,"What is in your closet you pig".This has broken my heart as I have always gotten a lot out of attendance. NOw I talk to Jesus daily through prayer and know that he will help us through this but I do miss the fellowship. If there are any other Christians going through the same thing reading this please let me know how you are dealing with it. NOt only has this destroyed my trust, my daughters have to deal with this also . I admire their faith in Christ through this as they remain very strong, but it has made them not trust anyone. How can I regain trust in Gods people? You can attend services anywhere without turning your children over to the clergy for abuse. I don't think it's very Christianlike to judge all clergy on the basis of what some have done in the past. Why don't you just think about what Jesus may have done in your position? After all, He was the one who was sent to teach us love and forgiveness...and non judgementalism. We live in an age when you have to watch your children like a hawk lest they be shot, kidnapped, abused, seduced on the Internet, etc. But we can't cut ourselves and them off from spiritual undertakings and life itself. There are many ways of protecting children and teaching them about potential harm. There's a lot of hypocracy out there. We don't shut down Congress because a few members passionately backed legistation against pedophiles and then tried to seduce congressional pages. It's just a fact of life. We can't shut our churches down because some clergy are perverted rats. We get what we can from our religious institutions and rightly protect ourselves from potential evil. I think it may just be another lesson from above. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Churches are silly Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Churches are silly So are a lot of people...and LOTS and LOTS of other things. In what way are churches silly? You can't just make a statement like that and walk away! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Looks to me like people are getting off-topic. Which, apparently, is a crime here. I thought I saw some threads on the usefulness or uselessness of religion already., Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 So are a lot of people...and LOTS and LOTS of other things. In what way are churches silly? You can't just make a statement like that and walk away! Tony T it's the 21st century. Even in the 19th century Nietszche was calling them the sepulchres and mausoleums of God. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Tony T it's the 21st century. Even in the 19th century Nietszche was calling them the sepulchres and mausoleums of God. OK, so Nietszche is the authority. I think he was a fair existential writer and philosopher but not a single authority people should base their lives on. He was ONE man! We are getting ridiculous here. I withdraw my request for back up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mtnfml Posted October 15, 2006 Author Share Posted October 15, 2006 Thank youTony for your response. I know that I should work on forgiveness and not judge all clergy based on what a few do. I have jsut been dealing with anger feelings and also feel you are right that this may be just another lesson from above. I know I can attend church anywhere but it is my time with God that I spend daily that really counts. I appreciate your words of suppport. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mtnfml Posted October 15, 2006 Author Share Posted October 15, 2006 Thank you for your words of encouragement. My girls have forgiven quicker and held on to their faith stronger than i have been able tol Acutally it's not really my faith but just my emotional reaction that i am having a problem with. I need to take time to just try to find a place for this inside and a way to handle it. YOu're right that this should be reported and in one case it was by someone else I found out and not believed. ONe of my daughters(as an adult) also reported this but nothing was done. We hang on the the fact that Christ is there and loves us and will help us throught any situation. The men who are sinning as they work as Gods men will be dealt with by him I am sure.Again Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts