PWSX3 Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 Glad to hear things are going so well. The other day I re-read my own post & it did a lot of good for me, so I did the same with yours and went back and read the first page & it's amazing how much you have learned, how far you have gone at bettering yoursef. It is amazing how much a person can do when they look at there own mistakes instead of blaming the other person. It is so easy to blame the other person and run from our own faults, but you have stood in there, taken the bull by the horns & excepted there are things you could do to make yourself a better person and look where it's gotten you....... In a year you will be able to look back and say; wow look what I have learned & the stbx will probably be in the same place she is today. When I tell people I am separated they say; oh I'm sorry but I'm not. It was the last straw I needed to look at that mirror & see who the real person was that I was having issues with all these years. Congrats on the new place & you should have a good time fixing it up as you would like it. Don't forget to let the kids put in there two cents in how they might want to decorate it so they feel like it's there home as well. As far as places to see in the US, I have been told that Colorado is pretty nice, but then I see it every day. If you like mountains then you will have fun, but if you want to get to the high country you have to wait until around Jul-Aug. for the snow to melt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dad_of_3 Posted April 1, 2007 Author Share Posted April 1, 2007 Wow, its been awhile since I've been on. So much has happened with the new steps in life ... As I get my life back on track, its still all a new and steep learning curve. I'm now pretty settled in my new place and feeling more comfortable as time moves on. I still get pangs from the quietness without people around me, but slowly adjusting. Its still a shell as I am missing a few pieces of furniture here and there but in time that will come. I've got the essentials and am able to provide the kids with a safe and homely environment now. One of the real hurdles thus far has been finances and stbxww expectations on how she would like things to go. Its gotten dirty its gotten to the point where she has stopped all care arrangements with the children as when I look after her, it financially handicaps her. Since this has happened which was roughly a week and a half ago, I've gotten some legal advice and read up on the family law within Aus. She's done the wrong thing, totally and completey wrong, just to get herself in a better financial position she has used the children to her advantage. I do see her point of view in that if she doesnt have enough money, she cant support the children. I'm paying the mortgage which we had agreed on whilst she forgoed Child maintenance. Now the mortgage is quite substantial so she has not had to worry about the biggest day to day bill anyone can face which is rent. Since I've gotten my legal advice which is quite sound, opinions from family and friends, I've taken a think over in how I am going to handle all this. At this stage, my children are all my concern. Rather than stir up a hornets nest by trying to see my children, at the next mediation, I'll be stating terms I would like and then taking them and making them legal. I am longer going to be manipulated and bullied. Stand firm, do right by my children and move on. There is still quite a substantial amount of whats being going on in my day to day life. Now that I am settled back in, I can catch up more on here. I wish everyone well in there journeys. Be strong. Do3 P.s I passed my motorbike licence test. Looking forward to hitting the road on a bike once everything settles down. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Good to hear you are getting settled in your new place, & now you can ride a bike, that is so much fun I wish we still had our street bike sometimes but then around here people don't watch out for motorcycles...... It's good to see you back on the board and like Gunny said; it's nice hearing from people on the other side of the pond..... Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 One of the real hurdles thus far has been finances and stbxww expectations on how she would like things to go. Its gotten dirty its gotten to the point where she has stopped all care arrangements with the children as when I look after her, it financially handicaps her. Since this has happened which was roughly a week and a half ago, I've gotten some legal advice and read up on the family law within Aus. She's done the wrong thing, totally and completey wrong, just to get herself in a better financial position she has used the children to her advantage. I do see her point of view in that if she doesnt have enough money, she cant support the children. I'm paying the mortgage which we had agreed on whilst she forgoed Child maintenance. Now the mortgage is quite substantial so she has not had to worry about the biggest day to day bill anyone can face which is rent. Since I've gotten my legal advice which is quite sound, opinions from family and friends, I've taken a think over in how I am going to handle all this. At this stage, my children are all my concern. Rather than stir up a hornets nest by trying to see my children, at the next mediation, I'll be stating terms I would like and then taking them and making them legal. I am longer going to be manipulated and bullied. Stand firm, do right by my children and move on. I'm confused and concerned about the pint of your post I have quoted. Please expound. What has happened? Are your children okay? Is it about the mortgage? I don't expect you to pay the mortgage forever. I'm sorry that your children may have to move form the home they have known for so long. At the same time, I don't think that children are soooo damaged by a move, or that you should financially suffer due to divorce. I truly believe and hope for equity to be possible. I know that equity is hard to achieve. Please let me (us) know more details. Congratulations on your motorbike/cycle licensing. That is a worthy goal! Continue in making goals for yourself, as they are important to your growth and future. Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Its great to here from you again..Do3 Its amazing how things can change in our lives.. As for the potential move and your kids... they will be fine... my s/son.. and s5 have settled in fine... infact.. s/son.. has more friends.. and is apparently quite popular at his new school.. and has had several girlfriends.. already this year..06/07 year. Its one of the reasons I barley ever see him anymore... his social life.. is Sooo busy... Also... awesome news on the bike course... although you will never catch me on one of those things.... seen to many... messed/mashed up people.. to bother... Stay in touch ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
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