Author Dad_of_3 Posted December 24, 2006 Author Share Posted December 24, 2006 Do3 just asked Chad the same thing... how are things going You have posted in other threads... but lets here how you are doing in your own... BTW... do you Aussies BBQ your xmas turkey?.. :laugh: AS best as things can be considered buddy ! BTW MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL FROM SYDNEY ! In this time its all about the kids, about to head over there and open presents with them. I can only imagine the look on there faces as they open them. I'm doing great, even on this day, my head is clear, my path is clear and my heart is open. In regards to STBXW, well, I've sailed and I am better for it. Life goes on. There is much more to say on my behalf, but I just can't wipe the smile of my face as I look forward. I read a quote somewhere that really says it all for me at this stage. " When all is said and done, more is said than done " Life goes on ... and as Mr Joel once said, "You're only human, you're allowed to make mistakes ... " I'll be back later after volunteering ! MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL !!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
stanchain Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 hey dad... just read most of your post... if i read right this has been going on for like 3-4 months... damn... I am sorry bro. I mean here i am all said and misreable and you lost what was once the love of your life. Damn bro.. i really dont know what to say. man... I mean I miss melissa... I love melissa, and want her back. but if you can let go and move on with your life after like 14 years or whatever i gotta get up an brush myself off. I just want the holidays to be over though. like i said in my post i said i was going to completely let go if things arent being worked on by xmas. Well it is that time. I just wanted to believe in the miracle of xmas. And although me and her will never be one again.. xmas is still a wonderful miracle. i am going to take a page out of your book and do what everybody has been telling me to do and get a hobby. By the way I live in cali... and have been to your neck of the woods and such.. Perth, Sydney, brisbane, Mackay, and townsville... you would like cali... but nothing compares to the women out that way. Now those are some memories that could get me over my ex in a minute or 3... maybe i should come out there and you can come out here. Have a good xmas day with the kids.... peace stancahin Link to post Share on other sites
Oblivion Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Wow, reading this thread has given me hope beyond hope. Thanks Dad, you have no idea what this does for me, or for countless told others who run across it, if I could buy you a beer I would. Congrats my friend, for figuring it out, I can only aspire to arrive in your shoes. Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingHigh Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 AS best as things can be considered buddy ! BTW MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL FROM SYDNEY ! In this time its all about the kids, about to head over there and open presents with them. I can only imagine the look on there faces as they open them. I'm doing great, even on this day, my head is clear, my path is clear and my heart is open. In regards to STBXW, well, I've sailed and I am better for it. Life goes on. There is much more to say on my behalf, but I just can't wipe the smile of my face as I look forward. I read a quote somewhere that really says it all for me at this stage. " When all is said and done, more is said than done " Life goes on ... and as Mr Joel once said, "You're only human, you're allowed to make mistakes ... " I'll be back later after volunteering ! MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL !!!!! Your Angels are finally smiling and celebrating with you!!!! You have come a long way in such a short time, Dad_of_3. You did it all by yourself.... Here's my Hawaiian greetings: Mele Kalikimaka Makahiki Hau'oli Hou! (May-lay Kah-lee-kee-mah-ka Mah-kah-hee-key How-o-lee Hoe-ooh) Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Flyin High, I hope you are having a great holiday season! Our "chats" helped me a lot a couple of months back and for that I thank you. Lakeside, (AKA Jim) Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingHigh Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Flyin High, I hope you are having a great holiday season! Our "chats" helped me a lot a couple of months back and for that I thank you. Lakeside, (AKA Jim) Awww, shucks Lakeside. You're welcome! I hope that you too, are sailing in better water?...hmmm....You did have a budget this time at that florist?...I hope... Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Funny you should ask.... after about 4 months of "NC"... I decided to remember Christmas with a few little things.. and a nice strand of natural pearls. She appreciated the gift. The florist did miss me though, and were happy to have my business both as a florist and a delivery service. Pretty depressing Christmas season though... Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingHigh Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Funny you should ask.... after about 4 months of "NC"... I decided to remember Christmas with a few little things.. and a nice strand of natural pearls. She appreciated the gift. The florist did miss me though, and were happy to have my business both as a florist and a delivery service. Pretty depressing Christmas season though... I had a feeling you still have your anchor where you've always had it... So what will it take for you to pull that anchor out of the same deep water you've been waiting and watching the same view at sunrise and sunset so that you, too, can start sailing to some other destination? Or will you ever? Worth repeating...Life is not meant to be still. Life is meant to be lived. So live it well by being in it...not from a distance. Think about it... Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 FlyinHigh, I realize that I should probably take more time and make a greater effort to really analyze what I'm doing.... it's just not appealing to me. Frankly at 55+ I'm not real interested in "starting over", or getting involved with someone new. I suppose that that's the risk one takes when you stay in a relationship a quarter century. Where I am now, doing what I do doesen't cause me any pain, there is no risk involved. I've had all the hurt I wanna have. I've let things develop with a couple of ladies, to no avail. My tolerance for drama and games is pretty near zero. My lady by the lake comes risk free. I am not delusional, the chances of a "real" relationship coming to pass are slim. It feels good to give a little happiness to someone occasionally. I do it for me. I'm past expecting or wanting anything.. from anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingHigh Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 FlyinHigh, I realize that I should probably take more time and make a greater effort to really analyze what I'm doing.... it's just not appealing to me. Frankly at 55+ I'm not real interested in "starting over", or getting involved with someone new. I suppose that that's the risk one takes when you stay in a relationship a quarter century. Where I am now, doing what I do doesen't cause me any pain, there is no risk involved. I've had all the hurt I wanna have. I've let things develop with a couple of ladies, to no avail. My tolerance for drama and games is pretty near zero. My lady by the lake comes risk free. I am not delusional, the chances of a "real" relationship coming to pass are slim. It feels good to give a little happiness to someone occasionally. I do it for me. I'm past expecting or wanting anything.. from anyone. So you're settling for less than you might deserve? That's a damn shame, Lakeside. At 25, 55 or 65, there's no reason anyone should settle for less than they deserve just because they've been hurt before. So what? So has everyone! You are of no exception. It's not a matter of having a relationship that is risk free, it's living half a life. And you know damn well, that's what you're doing. Give yourself a chance! Maybe, just maybe if you did, you might give some deserving lady the same chance. So start pulling that anchor out of that murky water and start sailing yourself! Until you feel you deserve better, you will continue to settle for half the life you you are living that you think it's "risk free". Don't make the mistake at 65+ and still be in the same boat you are in now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dad_of_3 Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 Geez FlyingHigh ... where did you come from? How can someone who can come into your life no matter where from that can change it in but a few words? How do you place value on that? You can't. 1 lesson I have learnt this year ( Boy did I learn alot!) is never to take things at face value. To truly take a step back and view things in such an angle, adjusting sails? Everyone who wrote in my thread, responded to my posts really taught me a thing or 2. A different view, a different opinion. You may say I did it all myself, I'll take that. But I will never forget the people who offered their hand for me to prop myself up. That I can never repay nor appreciate too much. I just wish there was a way to truly express the thanks I feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dad_of_3 Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 LSD, its great to see you posting back. Heck I missed you too! Warm Christmas wishes ! Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingHigh Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 LSD, its great to see you posting back. Heck I missed you too! Warm Christmas wishes ! Hey, Dad_of_3, Maybe you can hand LSD a fishing rod and take over the helm of his boat and steer him to clearer water. I'll even toss a cooler filled with beer! :D Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingHigh Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Geez FlyingHigh ... where did you come from? How can someone who can come into your life no matter where from that can change it in but a few words? How do you place value on that? You can't. 1 lesson I have learnt this year ( Boy did I learn alot!) is never to take things at face value. To truly take a step back and view things in such an angle, adjusting sails? Everyone who wrote in my thread, responded to my posts really taught me a thing or 2. A different view, a different opinion. You may say I did it all myself, I'll take that. But I will never forget the people who offered their hand for me to prop myself up. That I can never repay nor appreciate too much. I just wish there was a way to truly express the thanks I feel. That's the beauty of forum. You get a very colorful perspective from different angle. Bottom line: once you've read the last word from each reply, the decision was still up to you in the end. YOU took the "option" to GROW. YOu did it by making the adjustments yourself. Okay....so we handed you a wrench and showed you how to tie a slip...but you still did all the work yourself in the end... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dad_of_3 Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 That's the beauty of forum. You get a very colorful perspective from different angle. Bottom line: once you've read the last word from each reply, the decision was still up to you in the end. YOU took the "option" to GROW. YOu did it by making the adjustments yourself. Okay....so we handed you a wrench and showed you how to tie a slip...but you still did all the work yourself in the end... Awwww shucks ... LOL I love this feeling! Even with a minor event happening today, I dare anyone to try and wipe this smile off my face. Hehehe Hmmm ... I think I used that wrench on my own head for awhile .. LOL I learnt ... LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dad_of_3 Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 hey dad... just read most of your post... if i read right this has been going on for like 3-4 months... damn... I am sorry bro. I mean here i am all said and misreable and you lost what was once the love of your life. Damn bro.. i really dont know what to say. man... I mean I miss melissa... I love melissa, and want her back. but if you can let go and move on with your life after like 14 years or whatever i gotta get up an brush myself off. I just want the holidays to be over though. like i said in my post i said i was going to completely let go if things arent being worked on by xmas. Well it is that time. I just wanted to believe in the miracle of xmas. And although me and her will never be one again.. xmas is still a wonderful miracle. i am going to take a page out of your book and do what everybody has been telling me to do and get a hobby. By the way I live in cali... and have been to your neck of the woods and such.. Perth, Sydney, brisbane, Mackay, and townsville... you would like cali... but nothing compares to the women out that way. Now those are some memories that could get me over my ex in a minute or 3... maybe i should come out there and you can come out here. Have a good xmas day with the kids.... peace stancahin Stan buddy, yeah its been short, feels like an eternity but the things is, this is what "I" want. Yes we do have history, yup a bucket load and more but there is no point is going back to it over and over again. Its hurtful, its painful, why would I do that to myself? Dont get me wrong, from time to time I do. Its when I 'fall' but I learn from it. So next time I wont have to fall, I know what happens if I do this. As long as you re doing this for you. Its all about you at this stage. She may be wishy-washy. You've said enough, you've put your cards on the table for everyone to see. You know you got a winning hand, you can sit back and see if people are gonna call or not. Its all about you buddy. Where do you go from here? I'm sorry to say but I dont and no one has your map for you! You got it and if you dont it doesnt matter. My point? Its all about choices in life. Whether right or wrong, you are going to make them. Learn or be destined to repeat them. As long as you take the emotion out of it and work with a clear head, you know what to do. And if you don't, thats ok too. LOL ... that sounds great mate. When I get settled in the New Year, I'm looking to travel a bit as well. I was pretty set on Mexico, but now Im more inclined to get lost in New York instead. I dont know, thats the thing, I have never traveled in my life, I'm scared sh*tless but its my choice to make and I can't wait to make it. Also when in my own place, my place is always open to the right people of course. No I'm not turning to some commune hippy or anything but not everyone can afford everything to enjoy a holiday. For me these days, its about getting out and meeting people, making new friends! I love it ! To make someone have that 1 laugh and no matter if I see them again or not, gives me more joy than anything bar my children I'm not looking for a relationship, if that happens in time, then its meant to happen, until then, I'm going to be me, the real and right me and enjoy this time I have to myself. Oh please dont tempt me with the Cali calling ... beach, scrimpy bikini's, sun, skimpy bikin's, sweat oh did I say skimpy bikini's ? Bad Dad ! LOL You never know mate, it's always good to have friends no matter where you go. See what happens in the New Year ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dad_of_3 Posted December 25, 2006 Author Share Posted December 25, 2006 Wow, reading this thread has given me hope beyond hope. Thanks Dad, you have no idea what this does for me, or for countless told others who run across it, if I could buy you a beer I would. Congrats my friend, for figuring it out, I can only aspire to arrive in your shoes. If even 1 person finds hope and value from this, then I am happy as larry. Its not an easy road, hell I'm still travelling it, the journey is still on, but I wouldnt walk off this or sit down if you made me too. No friggin way. Hmmmm beer? I can only tolerate. Not all Aussies like beer ... LOL I'll have a Vodka and Red Bull or a Malibu and Pineapple thanks. On a beach somewhere at a setting sun with my guitar! Hehehe Aspire? No mate, I know you'll get there. Whatever time it takes, you'll get there. "Expect the worst, but hope for the best" Take care and Merry Christmas! Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Do3, Good for you. Travel see the world, enjoy. That's what youth is for! (Youth is reletive, to me you are still very young). It's good to see you doing well. It's been a "road" for you I'm sure. Time sure does fly by doesent it? Take care, and enjoy your holiday season. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Do3 it is really good to see someone making a positive out of a bad situation. It would be so easy to just set back and feel sorry for yourself, but instead you are learning, teaching others, and seeing what different it makes when you feel good about yourself. Doesn't it feel good to just say "hi" to a stranger passing by or say thank you to someone that did something small for you such as hold the door for you at the store, or better yet doing something nice for someone else? Just taking a shopping cart to the holding area at the store for someone gives you a good feeling inside. Life is good when you decide to make it that way. I talked to a customer the other day that went thru a divorce and he was really surprised to hear I was in a separation because he said I didn't show it. I guess he went the other way and drank a LOT and would date girls for all the wrong reasons (sex) and I'm glad I didn't go that route! It's good to hear you are doing so good and yes you will slip back (everyone does) but you will be able to pick yourself up quickly and say; O.K. I learned from that set back now lets move on. Merry Christmas my friend and I wish you the best!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 I just wish there was a way to truly express the thanks I feel. How about a return ticket to Sydney and some of those drinks you mentioned on the beach as the sun sets... :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: !!... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dad_of_3 Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 Do3 it is really good to see someone making a positive out of a bad situation. It would be so easy to just set back and feel sorry for yourself, but instead you are learning, teaching others, and seeing what different it makes when you feel good about yourself. Doesn't it feel good to just say "hi" to a stranger passing by or say thank you to someone that did something small for you such as hold the door for you at the store, or better yet doing something nice for someone else? Just taking a shopping cart to the holding area at the store for someone gives you a good feeling inside. Life is good when you decide to make it that way. I talked to a customer the other day that went thru a divorce and he was really surprised to hear I was in a separation because he said I didn't show it. I guess he went the other way and drank a LOT and would date girls for all the wrong reasons (sex) and I'm glad I didn't go that route! It's good to hear you are doing so good and yes you will slip back (everyone does) but you will be able to pick yourself up quickly and say; O.K. I learned from that set back now lets move on. Merry Christmas my friend and I wish you the best!!! Thanks Buddy! I appreciate it alot. I guess how I see life these days is you get 1 shot. As gunny would say, get the f*ck on with it. Misery can only get you so far, and as I always say, its what you do after it that counts. I love talking to a random, having a chat and a laugh and I am on my way. Whether they know or not, it brings joy to my life. Hah ! PW, I wish you the same good fortune in the coming New Year and the warmest well wishes for whats in store. Let the good times roll ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dad_of_3 Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 How about a return ticket to Sydney and some of those drinks you mentioned on the beach as the sun sets... :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: !!... Hmmmm ... put me in a bit of a bind ya bugger ! I can accomodate lots of drinks anytime when someone is in Sydney. LOL Hell even when I am aboard ! Anyone ready to be drunken under the table by an Aussie? LOL :laugh: Uhhhh not that I would indulge too much, responsible parent and all. Who am I kidding? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dad_of_3 Posted January 5, 2007 Author Share Posted January 5, 2007 Been awhile since I last posted. Well what can I say? I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year. I welcomed in my New Year surrounded by old school friends I had not seen for so long. Close friends I had distanced over time. It was so good to catch up with them. I missed the commanderie that only old friends to give as you relieve old times and find out what each and every one had gotten up to. This New Year as I see it presents an opportunity to seize it as you want to. Not for anyone, whether family, stbxw, friends but what you want to do with it. Its all about choices. In such a short time I have met an amazing array of people. People with stories, people with lessons to teach in life. Some come and pass without another word. Some become aquantinances. Some become friends. Some become kindred spirits in life. All a part to come to which has enriched my life to no end. Whether from a Forum to a complete stranger who you strike up conversation with, its all been worthwhile. For me, I know the path I tread, I dont know or can see whats up ahead, and to me that does me just fine. All steps I take will be mine, not stbxw. I take these steps with nothing with me but my children on my mind and in my heart. Like Greeen Day's Song - Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) " ... Its not a question but an answer learned in time " Like I said, this year is nothing but an opportunity to be taken. I'll leave here on a quote I read once on a card I gave to stbxw on our last anniversary. " Dont Be sad its over, Be happy that it happened " Peace, Serenity and Good Fortune to one and all Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dad_of_3 Posted January 5, 2007 Author Share Posted January 5, 2007 This song was dedicated to me from a very special and dear friend, who has done nothing but stick with me through thick and thin. Switchfoot - This is Your Life Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead Yesterday is a promise that you’ve broken Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes This is your life and today is all you’ve got now Yeah, and today is all you’ll ever have Don’t close your eyes Don’t close your eyes This is your life, are you who you want to be This is your life, are you who you want to be This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be When the world was younger and you had everything to lose Yesterday is a kid in the corner Yesterday is dead and over This is your life, are you who you want to be This is your life, are you who you want to be This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be When the world was younger and you had everything to lose Don’t close your eyes Don’t close your eyes Don’t close your eyes Don’t close your eyes This is your life are you who you want to be This is your life are you who you want to be This is your life, are you who you want to be This is your life, are you who you want to be This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be When the world was younger and you had everything to lose And you had everything to lose Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Been awhile since I last posted. Well what can I say? I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Year. I welcomed in my New Year surrounded by old school friends I had not seen for so long. Close friends I had distanced over time. It was so good to catch up with them. I missed the commanderie that only old friends to give as you relieve old times and find out what each and every one had gotten up to. This New Year as I see it presents an opportunity to seize it as you want to. Not for anyone, whether family, stbxw, friends but what you want to do with it. Its all about choices. In such a short time I have met an amazing array of people. People with stories, people with lessons to teach in life. Some come and pass without another word. Some become aquantinances. Some become friends. Some become kindred spirits in life. All a part to come to which has enriched my life to no end. Whether from a Forum to a complete stranger who you strike up conversation with, its all been worthwhile. For me, I know the path I tread, I dont know or can see whats up ahead, and to me that does me just fine. All steps I take will be mine, not stbxw. I take these steps with nothing with me but my children on my mind and in my heart. Like Greeen Day's Song - Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) " ... Its not a question but an answer learned in time " Like I said, this year is nothing but an opportunity to be taken. I'll leave here on a quote I read once on a card I gave to stbxw on our last anniversary. " Dont Be sad its over, Be happy that it happened " Peace, Serenity and Good Fortune to one and all Very inspirational post Do3:) ...good song too:D Link to post Share on other sites
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