My Ex cheated on his girlfriend with me

[jboliver4]

I dated this guy, Eric for a year, and he broke up with me because he "fell out of love" one day. He and I have both had our share of relationships since then. Mind you, we split 9 months ago. He has been dating this one girl for a few, 3 or 4 months now. He and I stopped talking after the break-up, but decided we should try to be friends recently. So for about a month now, we have been talking, and on AOL, he IMs me everytime I'm on, or everytime I come back from being "away".

 

We had many long deep conversations and have become almost like best friends once again. We feel comfortable talking about the past, including sexual things, and it's not a big deal. Well Friday and again today, we met and had sex. Basically he cheated on his girlfriend with his ex. And for a while everything was ok, meaning this weekend. But then he called me earlier tonight and was stressing and freaking out and ended our newly developed physical relationship.

 

He told me that he still wants to continue our late night talks, and he still wants us to be able to hang out and stuff, but he doesn't want us to have sex again unless he and his girlfriend break up.

 

He also said that he wants us to continue a sexual relationship after they break up, if fate should cause them to, which is bogus, but whatever.

 

I am still in love with him. Someone please help me!

[Tony T]

GEEZE...you may still be in love with him but THE ONE you need to learn to love is YOURSELF!

 

First, go take a very cold shower and then come back and read what you wrote above. Then read this and other responses that may come along.

 

This guy took advantage of your feelings for him, had sex with you, has cut you off sexually now BUT wants to reserve you for if and when he breaks up with his current girlfriend. DUH!!! Do you have any self respect whatsoever?

 

Also, hanging around with this guy without his girlfriend's knowledge on the outside chance he may come back to you is irrational. Why do you want to put yourself through the pain of knowing you are being used as a distraction? Why would you want to put yourself through the emotional pain of hanging out with a guy you love who you know is screwing another lady? Don't you care anything about yourself at all? There are so many guys out there who would make you their number one!!!

 

Get rid of this jerk NOW. You cannot possibly love a man who would play you in as vicious a manner as he is trying to do. I mean he cares about you as much as he cares about getting indigestion and you don't see that. Yeah, you may think he just lllloooooooovvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss you and you may think you love him but let me tell you it takes a whole LOT more than love to make a relationship work and much of it is sadly lacking here. This guy is playing you for some kind of total idiot and that makes him a lowly vermin scumbag.

 

Please get some therapy, talk to some trusted friends....do what you have to do to start loving youself enough not to allow yourself to be treated like this. Tell this guy to take a long walk off a short pier. If you don't get rid of this guy RIGHT NOW, you will be in for the biggest heartbreak of your life one day.

 

And if you really think he will come back to you if he ever breaks up with his current love, hahaha and shame on you. What he has essentially asked you to do is wait around for him to serve him sexually if and when he needs you after a breakup while he finds SOMEONE ELSE!!!

 

Sorry, I have to leave now and go throw up!

[silentcharon]

Tony is right. Leave him NOW.

 

Seriously, it is BOGUS.

 

You deserve BETTER, and you know it. Don't fall in that trap.

 

And as for being friends, he isn't being a good friend either. Dump him as a friend and go NC.

 

What a jerk.

[everlong]

what's with all this 'falling out of love' thing lately...has anyone else noticed this trend as well.

 

as for your post jb...you say this guy 'fell out of love', dumps you, starts seeing someone else, then comes back to you, basically chats you up for sex, and you go along with that? why do you disrespect yourself so much?

[Guest]

Guys...

 

Let's stop harrassing this poster and talking about disrespecting oneself.......it is so easy for you all to condemn this poster yet when I read your other posts you have done much to disrespect yourselves as well with your actions to date concerning your ex, even more so......... Chalk it up to the fact the people do crazy things when they crave "love" and "acceptance".....

 

jboliver.....I know how much "love" you feel for your ex yet sit back and try to see the situation for what it is. Here is a man that broke up with you and chose to be with someone else for whatever reason yet still remains in contact with you and reaps the benefits of being in a relationship with you without having any responsibilities to you. Think of this saying each time to yourself, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". I would venture to say that by sleeping with him you are deep down hoping that he will come back to you......why would you want that? He has proven that he is not reliable, not honest, a cheater, and lots more.....see him for who he is, stand up for what you believe you deserve and start getting happy with yourself. You will be fine and will treasure another relationship with the right person. HE IS NOT THE RIGHT ONE! GO NC with him.