Mom is bulimic

[CarolAnne]

Hi everyone

 

I am hoping some of you may have known someone who is bulimic and what you did about it

 

Ive suspected my mom (who is about 60) has had bulimia for several years, because every time [EVERY TIME] we go to a restaurant or make lunch or dinner when I'm visiting, she'll eat and then go to the bathroom. I've told her it really bothers me that she leaves me at the table alone, especially when we are eating out somewhere, hoping she would stop doing it. So she stopped leaving me at the table in public, now she runs to the restroom as soon as we get home.

 

I wanted so much to believe what she said, that as shes' gotten older she just has to pee a lot more and "can't help it", everytime she eats she "has to go", but I also noticed that she goes to the restroom only if she's eaten high calorie stuff. Still I tried to tell myself that I needed to stop being so neurotic and stuff. But I know she has bad vision, and whenever I use the main bath at home it always looks like there are bits of food in the toilet and I've heard her coughing in the bathroom when she thinks I'm not near the door

 

Anyway I went to visit last week and the toilet is full of chewed up onions and bread and food after we came home from lunch. Now I am feeling so worried and so guilty. I know this has been going on for years, I've always known, it was just unavoidable this time

 

My family has always had a weight fixation, sometimes we'll have a discussion for half an hour about losing a pound or a low fat low carb diet. My aunt deals with it by exercising several hours a day, my grandmother is extremely critical and that's how they were raised. Me too, to a large extent, but we don't live near my grandma, so I was spared somewhat

 

Its really scaring me lately she's been losing a lot of weight and has these extreme leg and arm cramps that last 1/2 an hour or longer, it reminds me of Terri Schiavo, how her electrolytes went crazy from bulimia and she went into a coma while throwing up. Mom was going to visit the doctor about the leg cramps and I asked her if she had been throwing up lately, from a "stomach flu" or something and she said no of course not. I'm a pharmacy student though and I know the signs - as soon as she told me her lab results I knew it was from vomiting (K+)

 

So I was hoping the doctor would diagnose it but she lied to him too and now they are doing all these screenings for strange diseases. I told/begged her to start drinking gatorade to restore her electrolytes "until the doctors figure out what's wrong" but she says gatorade has too many calories

 

I've seriously considered telling my brother and sitting down together as a family to talk to her but that would... I don't know how to describe it. She would be mortified and humiliated. I know she's hurting herself though and will eat a slab of pie at a restaraunt, go puke, but not drink friggin gatorade to save her life. I don't know what to do.

 

I'm hoping, if anyone out there has a mom or dad with alcoholism, or anorexia, etc that you will tell me what you did, did you talk to your mom/dad yourself, or tell others in your family? If it were my brother I would sit down with him in private but since its my mom, a parent, that changes everything.

[Craig]

So I was hoping the doctor would diagnose it but she lied to him too and now they are doing all these screenings for strange diseases. I told/begged her to start drinking gatorade to restore her electrolytes "until the doctors figure out what's wrong" but she says gatorade has too many calories

Talk to your mom's doctor. He is afterall playing the role of an investigator and should welcome information from you. If the doc refuses to talk to you just send a registered letter outlining your concerns, experiences and thoughts regarding your mother to him. Explain that you didn't want him to miss an eating disorder diagnosis and in so doing be exposed to a potential malpractice/negligent death law suit.

 

Bulimia is a very serious thing and can kill in more than one way. Electrolyte imbalance is one way but there are other more gruesome ways to die from it.

 

CarolAnne, you have to do what you have to do when someone's life is at stake and if you have to be unreasonable then so be it. Just start your quest in a reasonable manner then escalate things as needed until you get results.

 

The life you save may be your mom's.

[gracey]

CarolAnne you must be my sister. Your story sounds like my life. Our family has to many issues with eating. My mom is bulimic. We grow up listening to her vomit after eating. Once we were older we confronted our father who denied her having a problem. Since that didn't work we talked to her, again a wall. So since we all see the same doctor we put a bug in his ear. He has helped her a great deal. He watches her weight and she doesn't have to be embarrassed. Our whole family have eating problems. My sister is bulimic.

 

My other sister starves herself. And me I exercise like a crazed women only to still see myself as fat. I have tried to stop this pattern in my children. It's hopeless. My children have issues already. I think it may be genetic? My son covers his stomach as if he's hiding fat while in swim trunks. He's only 7 and not fat. You won't be able to help her mentally but at least the doctor will be able to keep track of her health. One other bit of advice, try eating healthy. If she eat healthy there isn't as much need to run to the restroom. Your in my prayers.

[mamabear]

I am a recovering bulimic if you have any questions post me. I know all the tricks, your mom is definitely bulimic and don't let her try to tell you she has "cured" herself, she may tell you that so the questions stop. 95% of all bulimics cannot cure themselves!!!!!! I tried for a long time. This is an addiction!!! Bulimics just cant stop