blackendangel13 Posted October 16, 2006 Share Posted October 16, 2006 Its been a long time since my last post but I am truly at a loss on this current situation and needed some insight. There is a guy in one of my college classes that I am absolutely smitten over. I REALLY like him. The whole time we are in class together (weekly) we do nothing but talk and laugh. We never pay attention. We take our break together, we walk to the parking lot together, laughing the whole way. We flirt constantly. So one would assume he may like me. So we have this silly project to do and I was elated when he asked me to be his partner. Of course I said "I'd think about it" with a coy grin and said yes a few minutes later. There is so much sexual tension between us it drives me crazy. He is always talking about us hanging out but whenever I invite him over to work on the project he blows me off. Its been 3 times now and I am REALLY discouraged. I basically did the project myself since it is due this week. He was upset and felt bad that I did it myself but I kept saying I didn't want to wait till the last minute because I have a full work load (I work 40 hours a week and have 4 night classes at my school). I really don't know what to do. I thought he liked me. He is really concerned with things like how high the heels are in my shoes (since we are roughly the same height) and always notices when I do my hair different. But I'm sick of being blown off. The class is over in two weeks. Should I just cut the chord? I don't know if I can be mad about the situation since he has no obligation towards me since we are not dating but it still makes me feel horrible to be blown off like this. He is the first guy in a long time that I actually wanted to date and wasn't sabotaging before anything even started. Any advice would be awesome. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted October 16, 2006 Share Posted October 16, 2006 Reply: We flirt constantly. I do believe you are tripping over your own cord, here. First, and foremost there is No "We" in this situation. You, only, you are assuming that he is flirting with you. Reality: Men engage in fun, exciting, easy going, refreshing talk because it is just conversation to them. Thus, it doesn't mean the man is flirting with the woman. Plainly put, he is behaving in this form because he wants to enjoy good conversation with someone in the class. IF he was, solidly, interested in you -and sexually attracted to you -he would have displayed substantial amount of "Touchy-feely maneuvers" and asked you to join him for a drink. Since, you are heavily smitten about this man, I suggest you start to ask him with light conversation: "I'm going to get myself a cup of coffee, would you like to join me?" That's it. You can't pressure him to date you. Advise on a platter. Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackendangel13 Posted October 17, 2006 Author Share Posted October 17, 2006 Thank you for the reply. I said we flirt because he is very touchy feely with me. He calls me pet names, says I look nice, lights my cigarettes, we sit about a foot apart when the desks are arranged over 5 ft apart. Maybe I am reading too much into it. Im not trying to pressure him to date me. I was trying to get the project done and he kept inviting himself over and not showing up. I casually invited him over the first time (before the project) and he was going to but bailed last minute. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted October 17, 2006 Share Posted October 17, 2006 Reply: That is good news -or rather bad news for you. The 'new' information doesn't change anything. I still stand by what I said, in the previous post. The fact, that he decided not to help you out with the project says a lot about his character. I believe it was rude, and inappropriate of him to not participate in the work load. [unless, he gave you good reason for his actions -which I doubt] The man is being very flimsy. He sways back and forth from one end of the spectrum to the other. He, basically wants to have fun talking, playing, and joking with you. He is not serious. Why should you take him seriously? IF you are still into him, go ahead, and jump on the wagon. Yet, don't be surprised if you cry buckets of water when he takes you for a rollercoaster ride [i.e. treats you like trash]. Good Luck, Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackendangel13 Posted October 17, 2006 Author Share Posted October 17, 2006 Thank you. Thats exactly what I needed to hear. No one wants a wishy washy guy, especially when there isn't even a relationship yet. Link to post Share on other sites
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