Matt L Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Okay, now, wait a second. Are you honestly bringing this guy down a few pegs just because you found out he's looking at porn? That, to me, is really unfair. Why are you suddenly looking at this guy differently? Is it just because you didn't realize he was doing something you should have assumed he was doing in the first place? All men with sexual urges look at porn, and all men with sexual urges masturbate, and I would be seriously concerned if you found a man who did not. The fact that he likes looking at porn involving younger (but legal, legitimate) women indicates nothing short of being completely natural on his part. Men want to impart their seed to the most attractive, healthy women they can find, so it's only natural that when he looks at porn, he wants to see porn involving healthy, attractive women. It isn't because he's perverted, it's just the way God has crafted him. I've found, time and time again, that women simply don't get it. It's been my experience that women seem to fantasize the most about situations, or scenarios (i.e. falling in love, having a romantic love-making session on the beach, etc. etc.), but with men, it's the imagery that gets our juices boiling. Men are more visually-oriented than women, so we are more apt to be turned on by things we see, i.e. porn. That's why it excites us, and for the most part, weirds you girls out. 'Nuff said. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I was snooping because I was curious to know more about him and I think lots of people in my position would have done the same thing. I disagree with this. It's more of a personal dissapointment to me. I have seen the way he looks at me and I really thought that he liked me or at the very least is very attracted to me. Now I just think he is a perv in general and probably looks at all females that way and has never liked me in the first place. That's more of my issue here although I'm aware of how stupid that sounds. And I'll repeat: You should have been far more concerned about his serious relationship than what kind of porn he likes. His relationship should have been the big STOP sign for you. Of course men like attractive women, and of course he enjoyed your attention and whatever flirtation there was. Why wouldn't he? He's human, and that's flattering. Wouldn't you be far more disappointed in him as a human if he cheated on his serious relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 re: Matt: " Why are you suddenly looking at this guy differently? Is it just because you didn't realize he was doing something you should have assumed he was doing in the first place? All men with sexual urges look at porn, and all men with sexual urges masturbate, and I would be seriously concerned if you found a man who did not. The fact that he likes looking at porn involving younger (but legal, legitimate) women indicates nothing short of being completely natural on his part. Men want to impart their seed to the most attractive, healthy women they can find, so it's only natural that when he looks at porn, he wants to see porn involving healthy, attractive women. It isn't because he's perverted, it's just the way God has crafted him." How comfortable do you feel with someone looking at porn that probably did use women of legitimate age * who portrayed* developing teens (or pre-teens)? Would your feelings be the same if the person was looking at snuff or mutilation porn? -or porn involving actual, and much younger children? Does whether or not someone looks at legal porn -or illegal porn- make a difference in how you see them? or feel about them? (any shaken trust, at all?). Do you think it's OK to view porn in the workplace using office pc's, and getting paid during the time you're viewing at work? (-providing, that is, that you don't already work in the porn biz). On the last question: if you answered "Yes" -would that also be OK if you're a daycare worker, an elementary school teacher, or a child counselor? If you answered "No" -then why not? Just a few things to think about. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
CrushedOrgans Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 as long as they are over 18, i don't see what the problem is. it's not your business anyway, even though he shouldn't use his work computer for that. some people would find objectionable the lusting after a professor, or a person who is in a relationship, or both, and yet you would think it was totally normal. to each his/her own. Link to post Share on other sites
Matt L Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Rio, I wasn't trying to debate that there are certain "shady" aspects to this whole thing, but if it was the porn viewing in and of itself (as opposed to circumstances) that was bothering Hannah I was merely suggesting a re-evaluation of the male psyche on her part. Clearly the professor was a bit irresponsible. Porn in a public place is unacceptable in the minds of just about everyone, and I think the real debate here is whether or not the professor had any right to claim his office as his private space, or at least, private enough to the point where he could be allowed to look at porn. Up until the point where he invited Hannah into his office, we could have perhaps said yes... if that makes any sense. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Porn in a public place is unacceptable in the minds of just about everyone, and I think the real debate here is whether or not the professor had any right to claim his office as his private space, or at least, private enough to the point where he could be allowed to look at porn. Up until the point where he invited Hannah into his office, we could have perhaps said yes... if that makes any sense. Where I live, a lot of employers will specify that the downloading of porn is a sackable offence. Certainly, every educational institution I've encountered incorporates this into the employment contract, and the relevant case-law upholds the employer's right to dismiss in these circumstances. It seems pretty crazy that he would download this stuff, then quite happily allow students to use his computer. What an absolute idiot. Even if he does allow students to use his pc, assuming he's the one who was downloading the porn I don't suppose it would be too hard to verify that by asking him to specify where he was and who was using his pc at times the porn was downloaded. All that said, my advice to you Hannah would be to note the information, then take no further action. Unless you ever get start getting hassle from this particular lecturer, you really don't want to get embroiled in any disciplinary action being taken against him. Who needs something like that as part of their academic record? Not to mention the bad karma. Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I doubt he would really get into to much trouble over this. I've got an academic computer, and I didn't sign anything, or was even given anything about "appropriate use". Filters? Not here. If http://www.loveshack.org comes through....probably other things will as well. You would be shocked at how lax the academic world is about just about everything. Disclaimer: (This is a side story and unrelated to the OP's situation.) And Moose's comment about research for lecture. When I was in grad school my advisor told me about an easy way to transport information over the internet without being monitored. Encrypt it into pictures. Pictures are stored as a sequence of 0's and 1's, so one day you post a picture, then a few days later you repost it, with a few of the pixels changed. Visually there is no difference, but if you've got a copy of the original, the computer can tell that it's been changed. There is virtually no way to tell that this has happened unless you have stored the original picture and the repost. His joke was then that the only way the NSA could possibly be monitoring this stuff was by looking at porn all day! We were walking to lunch and he actually said in a loud voice (imitating a NSA supervisor), "Why aren't you looking at porn?" We got some strange looks. Link to post Share on other sites
BlackHannah__ Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I don't know what to think anymore about this whole thing. On one hand, I'm disgusted at him, on another I think maybe it's not so abnormal. To repeat myself, the issue is not him looking at porn. I look at porn. It's TEEN porn that's bothering me. Even if those girls are 18+ they are still potrayed to look younger, all that tells me is that he is turned on by young girls in real life that are probably well under 18. This would be even worse if he was teaching young girls but luckily he only teaches postgrads that are well older than that and most are 30+, mature age students. In fact I would probably be one of his youngest students. Also I doubt he would get into any trouble if I reported him (not that I ever would). Everybody loves him and it's a boys club there. I would be the one suffering the consequences. Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 re: BH: " .... the issue is not him looking at porn. I look at porn. It's TEEN porn that's bothering me. Even if those girls are 18+ they are still portrayed to look younger, all that tells me is that he is turned on by young girls in real life that are probably well under 18. This would be even worse if he was teaching young girls ,,,," Exactly the part that makes me think twice about this and other similar situations. It's because I have two young daughters whom I love and whom I want to protect from this kind of perverse garbage, and from the people who promote and encourage it by viewing it, buying it, building even bigger appetites for it, bringing it ever-more boldly into the previously "untainted" open, public sectors for view, and attempting to make it part of the "norm" for our society. So -surely- you can understand where I'm coming from. re: BH: " Also I doubt he would get into any trouble if I reported him (not that I ever would). Everybody loves him and it's a boys club there. I would be the one suffering the consequences." I understand. (Sigh) That's something I have encountered myself, quite frequently, here in the South (it's great big boys club of tremendous magnitude and with members you wouldn't expect, and who should know better...still...). Go with what you *know*, Hannah -and deal with it how ever you see fit. Some things that seem too big for a nation to set straight are better left to an *individual* to find the right answer -until the nation grows a backbone. Take care. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 I have cooled down a bit and think that it's probably no huge deal. He has never done anything inappropriate towards me and he is generally a good kind person and treats me well. I would never do anything to put his job on the line. I was snooping because I was curious to know more about him and I think lots of people in my position would have done the same thing. Anyone with a minor crush might. as long as they are over 18, i don't see what the problem is. it's not your business anyway, even though he shouldn't use his work computer for that.Lots of people (myself included) use the same computer for work and personal. And yes, I bought it myself with my money, but that doesn't matter. To repeat myself, the issue is not him looking at porn. I look at porn. It's TEEN porn that's bothering me. Even if those girls are 18+ they are still potrayed to look younger, all that tells me is that he is turned on by young girls in real life that are probably well under 18. Not necessarily true. I personally look for "teen" and "amateur" porn. Why? The women are less likely to have fake boobs or wear gobs of makeup. They usually look more real and natural, which (to me) is more attractive than the porn-star look. They don't (typically) look like minors, and if a woman is nude you can't tell whether she's 18 or 30+ anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Ripples Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 if a woman is nude you can't tell whether she's 18 or 30+ anyway. Oh joy! <immediately strips off> Back on topic, yeah. Not really a big deal, however, like Lindya, I think he's silly letting students use a PC that he downloads porn to. Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Oh joy! <immediately strips off> . <Imagination running wild. > Back on topic, yeah. Not really a big deal, however, like Lindya, I think he's silly letting students use a PC that he downloads porn to.I'll third that... It says something for the OP's integrity though that she didn't look for exams or answer sheets. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Oh joy! <immediately strips off> Back on topic, yeah. Not really a big deal, however, like Lindya, I think he's silly letting students use a PC that he downloads porn to. (spits mouthful of coffee on the desk. Looks around and hopes no one saw.) Ripples, thanks for the morning laugh and excellent visual! (why don't they have an emoticon for panting? ). That was better than the coffee I am drinking. I agree...it is silly to let someone use his computer, but if i could think like him, I am willing to guess that he figured that BH would NOT be looking around. IE he trusted her. But he also should be smart enough to have cleared history and cookies, etc. after every internet session....no matter what you are doing... for security. To repeat myself, the issue is not him looking at porn. I look at porn. It's TEEN porn that's bothering me. Even if those girls are 18+ they are still potrayed to look younger, all that tells me is that he is turned on by young girls in real life that are probably well under 18. Again, I repeat. Being over 40, we don't FEEL over forty. Eighteen year old girls do not necessarily look like preteens. I do think it is a lack of judgment to even be looking at porn at the university, but I am willing to guess that there are a couple of reason he doesn't at home....he actually may not have an internet connection, and if he does, he probably doesn't want his partner seeing that he looks at it. I would say forget about it. I can definitely see how it would change your view of him. But if he is attracted to you, first, you are of legal age. Again, forty year old men do not look at twenty year old women who act and think older as "kids." Second, he is in a serious relationship. Unless he tells you differently, he is probably attracted to you as a student who has shown great interest in the subject he teaches. This is not uncommon. Link to post Share on other sites
Ripples Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 (spits mouthful of coffee on the desk. Looks around and hopes no one saw.) Ripples, thanks for the morning laugh and excellent visual! (why don't they have an emoticon for panting? ). That was better than the coffee I am drinking. Oh, well, you're welcome Although it's really not a good visual in RL Gravity is no longer my friend... Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 bab, That may of been too much information.......keep these things on the, "down low" man......"what's the matta you?" Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Although it's really not a good visual in RL Gravity is no longer my friend...I bet you're being too modest. Besides, gravity is easy enough to overcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Ripples Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Honestly, no one could accuse me of that <saving_up_for_boob_job> Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedGirl Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 But if he is attracted to you, first, you are of legal age. Again, forty year old men do not look at twenty year old women who act and think older as "kids." Second, he is in a serious relationship. Unless he tells you differently, he is probably attracted to you as a student who has shown great interest in the subject he teaches. This is not uncommon. Well if porn/sex are on his mind at work my bet would be that he is attracted to her as more than a student but of course he can't act on it due to his position and the fact that he is in a relationship. It isn't just a simple matter of telling her so. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Well if porn/sex are on his mind at work my bet would be that he is attracted to her as more than a student but of course he can't act on it due to his position and the fact that he is in a relationship. It isn't just a simple matter of telling her so. Again, not trying to be disagreeable, but men can compartmentalize porn from real life. Yes, he may fantasize about her, but it is also likely that he sees her as a student who needs him more intellectually rather than physically. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedGirl Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 I agree with you James, only he knows what he really thinks, but knowing men I bet he had a fantasy or two, especially if she is reasonably attractive Of course that doesn't mean that he is "gagging for it" or would ever do anything about it. Link to post Share on other sites
CrushedOrgans Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 I agree with you James, only he knows what he really thinks, but knowing men I bet he had a fantasy or two, especially if she is reasonably attractive Of course that doesn't mean that he is "gagging for it" or would ever do anything about it. or maybe he's not attracted to her at all, and is actually wondering why this annoyingly clingy student is hanging around all the time and asking to use his computer. i just fail to see how the porn has anything to do with her whatsoever. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedGirl Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 To analyze this further (oh I'm so bored this morning) I agree that he obviously trusts Hannah enough not to "spy" on him so to speak, otherwise he would have never let her use the computer knowing what's on it. And if he does trust her not to check up on him, he might not even be aware of the extent of her crush. But then again, little girls with crushes tend to be pretty obvious. What exactly is my point? I guess I just don't get how could someone in his position leave a student with a crush on him alone in his office, knowing that he has this kind of pictures/videos/files around. Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 bab, That may of been too much information.......keep these things on the, "down low" man......"what's the matta you?" I'm guessing that anyone who actually might need to do those things, isn't getting the instructions from loveshack [/hyjack] Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedGirl Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 or maybe he's not attracted to her at all, and is actually wondering why this annoyingly clingy student is hanging around all the time and asking to use his computer. i just fail to see how the porn has anything to do with her whatsoever. Yes another possible scenario. We don't know the details of the situation or why was she in his office in the first place. But porn is neither here nor there, it doesn't prove or disprove anything in regards to his feelings for Hannah. Link to post Share on other sites
lighthouse Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Maybe I am reading this wrong but to me what is upsetting is not that he was looking at porn (although it is nice to know what those professors are doing with my tax dollars) but that he was looking at teen porn. I understand what you are saying James and stoopid and that is all great and fine if they look like they are 18 or even 14 (as I was well developed at 14). But I don't think that is what Hannah is saying. I think she was saying they look much younger - like not shaven smooth but hair has never grown there smooth. Jenna Jameson, whatever floats your boat. JonBenet Ramsey, well hey Mr. Pedophile you should lose your job. Don't y'all watch Oprah about the child sex slaves?? LH Link to post Share on other sites
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