megnog Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I'm dating a guy (going on two and half years now) that believes that he can only have one love in his life. He told me after a few months of dating that he loves me and hes never loved anyone before. I found out later this was a lie, at least in my eyes. I find nothing to be wrong with him falling in love in previous relationships, but I found a few old notes from ex girlfriends from years ago. Love Love Love was written all over them and while this was a tad upsetting because I see him as *mine*, I am aware that these are girls he dated BEFORE me. Anyway, I'm a little upset to find out that he believes this. I asked him if we broke up, would he tell his next girlfriend hes never been in love? Since we are having problems, he answered my question with a "I'm not so sure I love you anymore". That, of course, is another can of worms that we have since fixed but I never got an answer to my question and it really bothers me that he thinks this. I can't change the way he feels about life but I guess I was wondering if everyone thinks this way? After our relationship (if there is an after) I would definately say I've been in love before , whereas he wouldn't say that. I don't get it. thanks for reading.. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Sometimes, after some relationships, you look back and think about whether you loved the person or just thought you did...were you giving of yourself or were you mostly thinking about what you were getting? You ask yourself whether you were really in love, or whether it was an infatuation or crush that turned into a relationship but when you got to know them and took a look at the real person, not the imagined person you crushed about, did you really love them? Sometimes, the answer is no, even if at the time you thought it was love or in love. Do I believe there is only one love I could have - absolutely not. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Each love is different. What he means probably is, he's never "felt" those feelings so intense when he's with you. His past is his past, so leave it there! Also, it has helped him be who he is today, so don't look at it in a jealous way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author megnog Posted October 19, 2006 Author Share Posted October 19, 2006 thanks for the replies. and i have to admit, theres nothing i should really worry about because if he feels the need to tell people he wasn't in love after we break up, we will have been broken up and i wont care. i guess it just bothers me because i felt special when he said that and i know now that he has loved before. norajane - i know what you mean and thats how it was with my first boyfriend. i was only 14. we had dated for a long amount of time (year and half) but i look back on it now and i'm pretty sure it wasn't love. but i know that hes loved these other girls because i could tell. i mean, its not like i was in the relationship or have any idea of what was going on because i didn't even know him, but in this loonngg letter he wrote it said something like "i don't want to use my one 'i love you' on you since it doesn't look like we are going to marry, but somethingsomethingsomething (i don't remember), i love you" i shouldn't get all huffy puffy because it doesn't matter. i guess it just makes me feel not-so-special anymore. plus, i also feel hes getting old and wants to marry (8 year difference between us) and sometimes i feel like hes just with me because we've been together so long and he really wants to settle. ........... but theres nothing i can do i guess. Link to post Share on other sites
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