It was awsome!

[velvet]

Once again, he impressed me. He is so very sexy. This date he allowed me to get to know him better. He told me that he lived with his foster parents most of his life, while his mom and dad were in and out of prison. He said that at one time, he did keep in touch with them. Or at least his mother and brother. His dad is still in prison. However,do to the life style that his mother and brother choose, and the thousands they had managed to get out of his pockets eventully made his loose all respect and he no longer keeps in touch with them. When he told me that, I believed him, but also becuase of my fear to really take an interest in a man, I also had to let myself know that he could be lying for attention, or something, but than again, Im sure he wouldnt lye about somthing like that. I have also met some of his friends, so they probably know.

 

Dinner was great, we ate downtown at another fancy place, we sat on the terrace and talked. He said that he enjoys being with me and wants to get together again. He mentiond over dinner that I dont know how beautiful I am. Honestly, this guy is so fine, I dont know what he could see in me. Im independent, cute, but I imagine that men of his caliber date knock out, flawless women. I dont have big boobs or a nice size ass, Im a bag of bones. Yet he keeps telling me Im so attractive and that he likes that I dont know it.

 

Has anyone herd that line before?

 

Anyway, our second date turned out great. He didnt say anything stupid to make wonder about him, like he did on the first date.

 

I never got on the fourum to talk about my dates, in depth like this one. I really like this one, and he doesnt know it. He asked me for a kiss again. I have kissed him a few times, heck he even kisses my check a few times through out dinner. We have some comfort level with each other, but not on a deep intiamte level. I fear that I shouldnt have these feelings. I dont want another cycle of pain or hurt and confussion to have to survive again. I think Im damaged by my last r/s.

 

Yep, I wanna see this guy again. He seems to dig me, but I have to keep in mind, that maybe all he is digging is just an atempt to seperate me from my pantys. Funny! but True!

 

Does anyone ever think when they are dating or if someone hits on you that its all for the nookie? Thats all I see when a man takes interest in me. Because most of them are dogs.

[Laurynn]

I'm really glad you had such a great time. I was hoping you'd give us an update! :-)

 

I feel somewhat similar to you, that when a guy treats me like gold, I immediately become skeptical and cynical and suspicious..thinking to myself, "oh, and what does he want? What's his ulterior motive?" ....Why do I feel like this? Mostly cuz my past experiences have been that men who DID treat me like gold, *WERE* just major con-men ...who truly didn't have a sincere bone in their body. Some wanted sex (never got it)...some just wanted to make THEMSELVES feel good by making ME feel good (aint that selfish)...guess there were a few different reasons.

 

I still say be cautious. Like the saying goes, "if it's too good to be true, it likely is." I hate to pee on your parade and all, but I'd hate to see you get hurt. But yanoo...we've all been hurt in past relationships...some to lesser degrees, some to greater degrees. We have to be careful not to let ourselves get into the rut of believing that ALL men are like our exes.

 

As for the sad story about his parents, etc......very possibly could be true.....or, like you said, it could be some bogus sympathy ploy. If it were me, I might try to do some casual 'digging around'...to find out more about his history. Does he have a reputation as a player? Reputation of being a liar? Does he date several women at the same time/giving them all the same 'lines'?

 

Keep us updated!

 

L

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "Yet he keeps telling me Im so attractive and that he likes that I dont know it.

 

Has anyone herd that line before?"

 

I hear it all the time except that I know it's the truth!!!

 

I'm glad you enjoyed your date. That's the way it's supposed to be. Now let this be the benchmark by which you judge your dates. If you go out with a guy and he conducts himself in a way that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable, let that be the last date.

 

But in all things in life, expect the best and you'll surely get it. Our reality is created by our minds. If we go around expecting people to behave in a certain way, we will manifest that reality for ourselves.

 

Expect men to be nice to you and accept nothing less, you'll have a great life.

[Tony T]

I am a damned nice guy and if I thought for a minute that after a date with me some chick would run home and sign on to a message board and get me torn apart like this I would dump her faster than an airline baggage handler could say "box knife!"

 

No, I've never been to prison. My parents have never been to prison. But I have been jerked around so many times by ladies I really did genuinely care about, or thought I did, there aren't enough pricks (or whatever you call those things) on a porcupine to count them. I have always been kind and considerate, the kind of guy chicks like both of you would be HIGHLY SUSPECT OF!!! Yeppers, I'd have you both shaking in your britches. But the minute I suspected you didn't have the self esteem or psychological makeup to handle my decent treatment of you without major paranoia, I would be out of your lives FOREVER!!! I'd leave you for the dogs that came after me for the kill.

 

If most of the men who treated you like gold were con men and a**h***s, there's got to be a major reason. We attract people into our lives to teach us lessons. When the lesson is learned, the teachers move on. We also project our own character onto other people. People who are highly suspect of others, well, they need to look at themselves and change a little. A little bit is healthy but the post immediately above was not written by someone who has a healthy level of reserved caution.

 

I always had a major problem with being used but I knew rationally that not all women were users...just the one's I attracted. I worked my butt off to make it stop...and, yes, it was because of stuff I WAS DOING to attract these kind of women or bring out that behavior in nice women. Seek the solutions to your problems in yourself and stop blaming everybody with a penis for what happens to you. I can tell you with all certainty that the vast majority of women DO NOT have major problems with men, serious enough to seek counselling or post in a forum.

 

Yes, there are some butthole men out there. Yes, sex is nice and it's real cool to get in a gal's pants. Me personally, I wait for that...forever sometimes. It's not my primary goal in dating a lady. I don't think it's most men's primary goal. But just let a man not go for the gold within what the gal thinks is a reasonable time and she's on a message board wondering what kind of flaming fag he is.

 

That the two of you can't handle a nice guy, no matter what motives he may have, is very, very sad. To judge every male homosapien in terms of the dogs you've been in contact with is just plain irrational.

 

There's a certain amount of caution you need to use in world now just because the world is the way it is. But to judge everybody's character prematurely strictly in terms of one's own experiences is highly unfair.

 

If you've been consistently treated like crap, raped, assaulted, lied to, pulverized, whacked, etc. by men consistently, you've got a serious problem that needs to be dealt with professionally. This is not what happens in the normal course of life for most women. Yes, these experiences occur from time to time but most women don't wallow in those experiences. They put them into perspective, factor them into the total equation and move on quickly. (Given, the rape thing is very serious and usually takes a long time and a lot of counselling to get through. However, life is short and to think that every man is a rapist because of one experience is not being nice to oneself).

 

There are millions of women who have never been cheated on. There are millions of women who have never allowed a man to take advantage of them. There are millions of women who, when discovering a man is out only for nookie, just drop them and move on without fanfare. I think that's the conduct every woman ought to strive for.

 

And there are some who post on message boards and are told repeatedly that they are in for major trouble and they just keep the drama going like they really want to get pounded in a major way. I think they need to look at themselves hard and cruel and ask themselves if it's really the bastard men's fault...or is in there own. If you lay down on the railroad track and refuse to move, how can you blame the railroad conductor for smashing your butt???

 

Yes, do be cautious in your dealings with all of humanity. But when a guy is nice just accept that for what it is. Even if he's out after what's between your legs...which is ultimately part of what he's supposed to be after in this mating game anyway...just accept the kindness, don't judge it, and see where it leads. And when he goes for the crotch kindly put him in his place, tell him it's way too soon, and leave it at that. See if he continues to be nice.

 

Somewhere down the road, you'll either marry him, have him as a friend, stop seeing him or, on extremely RARE occasions have him up on rape charges if he's that crazy. That's just a chance women take to be on the planet in a heterosexual way and there's not a darn thing you can do about it except to be a good judge of character. But to go apeshxt because a guy is decent and shows a nice, healthy interest in you as a person pisses the hell out of me. Frankly, after reading this post, the next time I'm out with a gal I will tell her I'll be my usual nice self to her if she promises not to complain or speculate on my motives to the world on the Internet about receiving such kind treatment and not to think I'm queer.

 

I'll also tell her I have a penis and it has a purpose but I have self control. I'll let her know clearly I'm interested in all aspects of her, mentally and physically, and not to interpret my lack of discussing sex as my being homosexual.

 

Is there any pleasing a woman these days??? Yes, thankfully, there are many still who think very highly of themselves and won't put up with anything but the kindest, nicest behavior from a guy and are quick to ditch him if he's not up to their standards. God bless those ladies. They are the salt of the earth.

 

I am dearly thankful for those females out there with the self esteem to appreciate good treatment and the ability to accept it without fear or suspect.

 

I am deeply saddened by those whose experiences in poor judgement of men have caused them to remain with the buttholes for a period of time necessary for them to be abused, insulted, or sexually assaulted. I don't think those things happen to people in dating experiences who have done proper diligence or who take due care. Of course, they can't help it if strangers jump out of bushes.

 

If you really think a nice guy is too good to be true, the Church is in dire need of nuns. Go for it!!! Dominus Vobiscum.

[Laurynn]

No, I've never been to prison. My parents have never been to prison. But I have been jerked around so many times by ladies I really did genuinely care about, or thought I did, there aren't enough pricks (or whatever you call those things) on a porcupine to count them. I have always been kind and considerate, the kind of guy chicks like both of you would be HIGHLY SUSPECT OF!!! Yeppers, I'd have you both shaking in your britches.

No, sorry..I'm not shaking in my britches at all. Sincerly "nice/good" guys don't have to make it a consistent habit of telling everyone what nice guys they are....they're confident that they're nice guys and they're confident it will just show through. They don't have to repeatedly post it on a forum.

 

But the minute I suspected you didn't have the self esteem or psychological makeup to handle my decent treatment of you without major paranoia, I would be out of your lives FOREVER!!! I'd leave you for the dogs that came after me for the kill.

Sorry, toots but I have no problems with self esteem or paranoia..and just who the hell are you to think you know me so well that you can imply I do? What, because we've talked on the phone ONCE, you think you're the authority on me? Just stop. You think that because you've read stuff by me here, that you have me all figured out? Please, don't flatter yourself. And I say this to you because you obviously felt it necessary to go out of your way to respond in this thread of Velvet's, TO ME (you'd already responded to her about her date, so this was something directed specifically at me. Who needs some counselling?)

If most of the men who treated you like gold were con men and a**h***s, there's got to be a major reason. We attract people into our lives to teach us lessons.

You sure are high and mighty, hey? You sure have all the answers for everyone who comes to this forum, hey? You know very little about me or my life so I think you're pseudo-psychoanalytical critique is uncalled for.

 

When the lesson is learned, the teachers move on. We also project our own character onto other people. People who are highly suspect of others, well, they need to look at themselves and change a little. A little bit is healthy but the post immediately above was not written by someone who has a healthy level of reserved caution.

Says who, you? Are you the authority on this? I wasn't aware that you're a psychotherapist or certified counsellor, Tony.

Seek the solutions to your problems in yourself and stop blaming everybody with a penis for what happens to you. I can tell you with all certainty that the vast majority of women DO NOT have major problems with men, serious enough to seek counselling or post in a forum.

Who says I blame all men? God, you are really coming across as a totally pompous jerk here, Tony. And how do you KNOW that a good number of women don't have problems with men, serious enough to seek counselling or post on a forum. Did you take a worldwide survey or something? If you're going to make such a strong and definitive statement, you should have the statistics to back it up. There are many forums, relationship-related, on the internet. Do you go to all of them and take notes on how many women post there about men? Are you trying to make women reading this statement of yours uncomfortable about posting about their 'men-problems'..for fear that if they do from this point on, you'll automatically think they've got problems? Last time I checked, tony, this was a relationship forum. 98% of the posts here are related to relationship issues. Imagine that.

 

What sparked all this unhealthy hostility? I haven't posted anything of a personal nature in ages......I haven't even posted anything about my current dating situation. WHat provoked you to let into me "again"? You're really out of line, dude. Nothing in my response to Velvet warranted your unsolicited "wrath."

Yes, there are some butthole men out there. Yes, sex is nice and it's real cool to get in a gal's pants. Me personally, I wait for that...forever sometimes. It's not my primary goal in dating a lady. I don't think it's most men's primary goal.

You don't think it's most men's primary goal? *inserting laughter here* How would you know this, Tony.......seeing how you're a guy and I assume you don't date MEN. How are you such an authority on what the majority of men do? Wouldn't us gals be in a better position to speak on this?

 

But just let a man not go for the gold within what the gal thinks is a reasonable time and she's on a message board wondering what kind of flaming fag he is.

Never heard that one before, but if you say so.

That the two of you can't handle a nice guy, no matter what motives he may have, is very, very sad. To judge every male homosapien in terms of the dogs you've been in contact with is just plain irrational.

Since when did I ever state or imply that every male homosapien was a dog? Quit being so melodramatic and wrong...and stop putting words in my mouth. I never for a minute said that.....in fact, I've often used the disclaimer that NOT ALL MEN ARE THE SAME (which is also what I just happened to mention to Velvet too......gee, did you miss that part?...the part about being careful not to get into the rut of thinking all men women date are automatically like their exes). If anyone is being irrational here, Tony, I'd say it's you. Seems you've lost it.

There's a certain amount of caution you need to use in world now just because the world is the way it is. But to judge everybody's character prematurely strictly in terms of one's own experiences is highly unfair.

Newsflash for ya, but most people use their own personal experiences as a point of reference, or measuring stick by which to judge other people or experiences. Who said anyone is prematurely judging anyone here? Velvet asked for our opinions on this guy, and we responded. What right do you even HAVE to poo-poo my opinion? My opinion is how I feel.....it's not right or wrong. Who the hell are you to cut down anyone's advice? Unreal.

If you've been consistently treated like crap, raped, assaulted, lied to, pulverized, whacked, etc. by men consistently, you've got a serious problem that needs to be dealt with professionally.

Again, here is your arrogance and lack of compassion showing. You come across as the kind of guy who'd BLAME a woman if her man smacked her around..saying she DESERVED it.

This is not what happens in the normal course of life for most women. Yes, these experiences occur from time to time but most women don't wallow in those experiences. They put them into perspective, factor them into the total equation and move on quickly. (Given, the rape thing is very serious and usually takes a long time and a lot of counselling to get through. However, life is short and to think that every man is a rapist because of one experience is not being nice to oneself).

Most women? There you go again, making unsubstantiated, sweeping generalizations again. And I'll have you know that being smacked around and spit on and physically and emotionally abused can be as scar-inducing as being raped. How are you such a goddamn authority on any of this anyway? Are you a woman? Have you ever been raped? Have you ever been beat by your husband or boyfriend? God, your arrogance continues to astound me.

 

And there are some who post on message boards and are told repeatedly that they are in for major trouble and they just keep the drama going like they really want to get pounded in a major way. I think they need to look at themselves hard and cruel and ask themselves if it's really the bastard men's fault...or is in there own. If you lay down on the railroad track and refuse to move, how can you blame the railroad conductor for smashing your butt???

You complaining, TOny? If it wasn't for these "dumb" women who don't learn as fast as you think they should, gee, you wouldn't have this place to grace us all with your infinite wisdom now would you?

 

Frankly, I don't even care to go through the rest of your flaming, rude, judgmental, unprovoked, hostile response to me.......I've completely lost all respect for you and I don't plan on reading anything more you have to say from this point on.

[Crystal]

laurynn you said to tony:

 

You think that because you've read stuff by me here, that you have me all figured out? Please, don't flatter yourself.

 

well i have to say you have done this to ME numerous times! i feel the same way. dont judge others lest you be judged.

 

now it is your turn to be see how you made me feel, sucks doesnt it?

 

no one can possibly in this world know how another person thinks or what they are really like just by posting things on a board!

 

the person has a whole life, they go off the board and do things that nobody even knows about, like with family, friends, work, pets, kids, trips, vacations, health, diets, etc, etc, etc..the list goes on.

 

so you dont want to be judged by what you wrote on those lonnnnnnnng....lonnnnnnnnnng........lonnnnnnng posts that could of filled a paper back book, but yet it was/is fine and dandy for you to come along and act like you know me inside and out when in fact you dont even know diddly about me.

 

now if i was to judge you from all the posts you wrote about the guy you were seeing, i do not have a good opinion of you, from what i read, but i'm not the type of person to go judging people.

 

i had a lot to say about all that stuff you wrote, but i stayed out it cause i dont feel good about myself if i were to go around condemming someone the way you did me and or others on this board.

 

you are in no position either to judge us on here like you have/do, now you are where i have been with you and it does not feel good does it?

 

because you know that you are MUCH MORE then what problems you bring to this board, so maybe you could quit being so judgemental of others on here then they woudnt be so judgemental of you then either.

 

what goes around comes around, and now you are on the receiving end and i know exactly how it feels to be accussed of something that i am not!

 

I'm really glad you had such a great time. I was hoping you'd give us an update! :-) I feel somewhat similar to you, that when a guy treats me like gold, I immediately become skeptical and cynical and suspicious..thinking to myself, "oh, and what does he want? What's his ulterior motive?" ....Why do I feel like this? Mostly cuz my past experiences have been that men who DID treat me like gold, *WERE* just major con-men ...who truly didn't have a sincere bone in their body. Some wanted sex (never got it)...some just wanted to make THEMSELVES feel good by making ME feel good (aint that selfish)...guess there were a few different reasons. I still say be cautious. Like the saying goes, "if it's too good to be true, it likely is." I hate to pee on your parade and all, but I'd hate to see you get hurt. But yanoo...we've all been hurt in past relationships...some to lesser degrees, some to greater degrees. We have to be careful not to let ourselves get into the rut of believing that ALL men are like our exes.

 

As for the sad story about his parents, etc......very possibly could be true.....or, like you said, it could be some bogus sympathy ploy. If it were me, I might try to do some casual 'digging around'...to find out more about his history. Does he have a reputation as a player? Reputation of being a liar? Does he date several women at the same time/giving them all the same 'lines'? Keep us updated! L

[anonymous woman]

that's fantastic. always good to read some good news. may things continue to go as you would like them.

Once again, he impressed me. He is so very sexy. This date he allowed me to get to know him better. He told me that he lived with his foster parents most of his life, while his mom and dad were in and out of prison. He said that at one time, he did keep in touch with them. Or at least his mother and brother. His dad is still in prison. However,do to the life style that his mother and brother choose, and the thousands they had managed to get out of his pockets eventully made his loose all respect and he no longer keeps in touch with them. When he told me that, I believed him, but also becuase of my fear to really take an interest in a man, I also had to let myself know that he could be lying for attention, or something, but than again, Im sure he wouldnt lye about somthing like that. I have also met some of his friends, so they probably know. Dinner was great, we ate downtown at another fancy place, we sat on the terrace and talked. He said that he enjoys being with me and wants to get together again. He mentiond over dinner that I dont know how beautiful I am. Honestly, this guy is so fine, I dont know what he could see in me. Im independent, cute, but I imagine that men of his caliber date knock out, flawless women. I dont have big boobs or a nice size ass, Im a bag of bones. Yet he keeps telling me Im so attractive and that he likes that I dont know it. Has anyone herd that line before? Anyway, our second date turned out great. He didnt say anything stupid to make wonder about him, like he did on the first date. I never got on the fourum to talk about my dates, in depth like this one. I really like this one, and he doesnt know it. He asked me for a kiss again. I have kissed him a few times, heck he even kisses my check a few times through out dinner. We have some comfort level with each other, but not on a deep intiamte level. I fear that I shouldnt have these feelings. I dont want another cycle of pain or hurt and confussion to have to survive again. I think Im damaged by my last r/s.

 

Yep, I wanna see this guy again. He seems to dig me, but I have to keep in mind, that maybe all he is digging is just an atempt to seperate me from my pantys. Funny! but True! Does anyone ever think when they are dating or if someone hits on you that its all for the nookie? Thats all I see when a man takes interest in me. Because most of them are dogs.

[velvet]

Its not that he seems to be too good to be true. Ive been out of love for a long time, and hes the only one thats come along that I want. Ive only met him three times and all ready I want to touch him...Look at what hes done to me!

 

He says that Im all wrapped up in mystery, but Im having fun with him. I hope that hes all man, and nothing less comes out later, to ruin it.

 

Thanks Tony, for your second post. I agree with that, and shouldnt except anything less. First sign of him being something hes not or I come to that oh so uncomfortable stage Ill be gone.

 

YOU ASK: "Yet he keeps telling me Im so attractive and that he likes that I dont know it. Has anyone herd that line before?" I hear it all the time except that I know it's the truth!!! I'm glad you enjoyed your date. That's the way it's supposed to be. Now let this be the benchmark by which you judge your dates. If you go out with a guy and he conducts himself in a way that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable, let that be the last date. But in all things in life, expect the best and you'll surely get it. Our reality is created by our minds. If we go around expecting people to behave in a certain way, we will manifest that reality for ourselves. Expect men to be nice to you and accept nothing less, you'll have a great life.

[JustaGuy]

O.k., a guy perspective here.

 

It's true, we are dogs.

 

The problem with us guys is that we will sleep with women we'd never have a long term relationship with. And we won't tell you that's the plan.

 

When I finally cleaned up my own act was once when I had a date down to her panties and bra and she said to me, "Now, if we do this and you don't call me again, I'm going to be very deeply hurt." Well, that sunk in, I stopped what I was doing, and I sent her home with a hug and kiss. Just couldn't go it with her once she put it that way.

 

I know for women it's tough figuring out whether it's just pure sex or there's a more substantial attraction.

 

Want an indicator that it's NOT just sex? Ok then: you've dated A LOT, TALKED A LOT (not just about sex), and SPENT TIME IN EACH OTHER'S WORLDS. And, he's not PUSHING for sex or slobbering all over you.

 

I hate to say this, but if you give in and have sex with us quickly, it will probably doom the relationship. If the fireworks go up too fast, we get what we want and there is no challenge left, and the rest goes downhill eventually.

 

I've had my share of sex-based relationships and live in lovers, but I'll guess that the woman who finally ends up hooking me will be the one that makes me earn it.

 

My opinion about your specific situation: the guy is expecting that you wear quick-release panties. Pull back a little bit and see what happens. Then you'll know.