Guest Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I'm not sure how to approach this situation, and really im not sure where to get the help maybe some of your input will help. My girlfriend enjoys looking at porn on the internet. She has looked at porn in the past however, it is not everyday, i really wouldnt say it is every week, but once in a while it occurs, and when it does it's usually a two day period. We've talked and i know she looks at it, and she tells me she sometimes masturbates to it, but really is that normal? I mean is my girlfriend looking at these porn websites, sometimes often sometimes never, normal? The websites range from lesbian to hardcore, but really im just worried. i mean is it me? lol, seriously thou, am I not pleasing her so she turns to that? I'm just so confused. Also it's gotten more frequent now, i'd say every 6-8 days, normal? thanks for all your help Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 re: Guest: " The websites range from lesbian to hardcore, but really im just worried. i mean is it me? lol, seriously thou, am I not pleasing her so she turns to that? " (Smile) Guest, it almost never fails to first -shake, then intrigue- a guy when he discovers the unusual sexual behavior or fantastical desires of his female partner. And the first thought is nearly always the same as yours: "Am I not pleasing her??" But realize that's *also* one of the initial thoughts of women when they discover porn, or other things that relate to the "threat" of their "not being enough". Women seem to take it harder, though -and have more magnified feelings of everything from jealousy to just plain being hurt. Men often turn it into an "opportunity" to fulfill some of their own hidden fantasies, if the idea bears out -and they believe it won't cause damage to their relationship, and will enhance it, instead. I think there has to be some strong personal criteria that has to be met before accepting the thought that things of this nature won't cause damage. I think, with far too many people, they learn, too late, that they are just not prepared for it -and what may have looked like "innocent" play winds up being a very destructive wedge between them. I think you have to *know* your own personal boundaries, what you can handle -and what you can't before inviting these kinds of things into your relationship (e.g. porn, or including third-person sexual encounters). Jealous or unconfident people do not fare too well in those circumstances. Like a lot of folks out there -this opportunity to "expand" your sexual knowledge and experience, or the thought of it, will cross your mind at one time or another. Before jumping into it with both feet, and acting on the fantasy, I suggest (to anyone) to think it over very carefully. I can see how learning about your girlfriend's secret can have you wondering how to approach it -or wondering even if you should. I think it's a discussion worth having -you, obviously, need to get it out into the open, and are needing answers that can only come from her. Approach it intelligently -and only after having a thorough "discussion" about it with *yourself* (e.g. truly know where you stand with the issue). I wish you luck, and encourage you to post back to the site with your results from the conversation you are probably on your way to having with your girlfriend. Take care. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Yes, it's "normal". Women have sexual fantasies, just like men do. Some women are visual and look at porn; other women prefer the written word and read erotic literature, racy novels, or websites devoted to erotic literature; some women prefer just their imagination to fantasize when they masturbate; some women do all of the above. It's natural for women to masturbate, and it's natural for them to have fantasies, and it's natural for them to seek out porn/erotica to stimulate their imaginations...just like men. It doesn't mean you aren't enough for her, and it doesn't mean she wants to DO any of those things she's looking at, and it doesn't mean she loves you less or your sex life isn't hot enough. It does mean she has an open mind toward sexual exploration, which is a great thing to explore with her. Don't play 20 questions about the porn she's looking at and make her feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, but DO start talking to her about things you find erotic and/or would like to do with her. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Off course it's nornal, looking at porn and masturbating is normal. We're sexual creatures also just like you guys aren't we!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Almost Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I bet you $100 this is a fake post, just to turn the tables on all the women who post complaining about their boyfriends looking at porn, and wondering if it's normal and if their boyfriends still like them. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 I bet you $100 this is a fake post, just to turn the tables on all the women who post complaining about their boyfriends looking at porn, and wondering if it's normal and if their boyfriends still like them. excuse me, but no, it's real. thank you so much for all of your advice. I will defintitly carefully talk to my girlfriend about things. It's good to know that im not doing anything wrong. lol thank you agian! Link to post Share on other sites
Almost Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 excuse me, but no, it's real. thank you so much for all of your advice. I will defintitly carefully talk to my girlfriend about things. It's good to know that im not doing anything wrong. lol thank you agian! Guest, So are you implying that: 1) You never look at porn. 2) If you did, it would be because you don't like your girlfriend anymore, or because she just wasn't doing it for you. If so, you're the only guy in the universe like this, or at least the first one I have ever heard of. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Guest, So are you implying that: 1) You never look at porn. 2) If you did, it would be because you don't like your girlfriend anymore, or because she just wasn't doing it for you. If so, you're the only guy in the universe like this, or at least the first one I have ever heard of. I've met a lot of dudes like this and the majority of my friends are male. I'm just saying. Most of them watch porn when single, but when in a relationship don't prefer it unless their GF is not meeting their sexual needs. At least that's what they tell me. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 I've met a lot of dudes like this and the majority of my friends are male. I'm just saying. Most of them watch porn when single, but when in a relationship don't prefer it unless their GF is not meeting their sexual needs. At least that's what they tell me. I'd not buy a used car from them LOL Porn isn't about relationships. It's about being horny when a partner isn't handy. Link to post Share on other sites
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