ddw5195 Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Explode!!!!!! I posted the very first time with the thread just need to talk....I am lost. easy to find do a search on ddw5195. then I posted a thread on I know its long but... this is where husband was acting strange well hold onto your seats cause its about to get confusing. first let me say all the strange things he was doing DONE did not last long just as I thought!!!!! I have a question.... why do men treat women like the dirt under thier feet??? and why do women put up with it??? we say it is love but is it really. let me just tell you I am fed up.... today if I had someplace to go and I knew my animals would have a place to go me and my daughter would be gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant tell you how I feel today so much is twisting inside me. I am not ugle(not bragging on my self)(and as much husband has dised me I dont feel pretty but I cant be that ugly)but just yesterday there were to people flirting with me I went to the store,gas station and to walmart and one went as far when standing in line at the store walks up to me cause he is right behind me and gets in my personal space and says to me looking me in the eyes man what color eyes do you have they are beautiful. well that scared the sh** out of me cause I get nervious when people get in my space. that is due to what happened to me in the past. these feelings are like I just want to beat him down yes I said beat him down. but on the other hand my mind says what would happen if he came to you today and said thats it. my stomach flips!!! then I know I would just be all in pieces that my marrage has failed. why do I keep going???? why cant I have that person to love me unconditional????? I am a nice person I would give a stranger my last dollar if I new he/she needed it for food. my friend hounds me all the time cause she says I am to nice. like take for exzample my daughter is 5 and she is in karata(sorry for spelling not the best at it) I am standing there talking to all the other moms and I know every one there cause I run my mouth like water never meet a stranger and never treat you like a stranger. the instructor comes up to me and she says she want to talk to me. ok,she was in a bad marrage and she and I talk and she has found her dream man. so anyway they are getting married and she says to me can you throw me a bradial shower?? what is that. how I was raise that is rude to ask. you dont ask someone to throw you a party. but of course I could not sa no, so any way she says her sister is donig the major part of the party and just two days ago says her sister is going out of town and that I would be the only one doing it. well ok anyone else would have said well I can only do this but you will have to get someone else. and not only that wants me to ask all the women she has invited to bring something to the party. so not only do they get a gift but havet o bring something to the party. I just dont know but did I say anything nooooo!!I love animals I care what happens to the dog running loose and is by the street thinking it is going to get hit by a car. I get sad when I see a animal that has been hit by a car. I doge the animals that are dead in the road cause (I know it is crazy ) I just cant stand the fact of hitting them again. of course my husband says why do you care they dont feel it there already dead hahahaha. and he knows how I feel. I am not crazy ya'll I just love animals. I was this way when he married me. have been this way from a little girl. so I have not changed. I have had no sex from jan I think and then I think I had it 6 mths before that. I am lucky I get it once a year. this is where you really need to read the other post cause it discuss where he says I am fat and nasty. like I said I weigh about 154 but I will even go as far as saying 160 to 165 hell ten pounds of that is boobs!!!! I was very blessed in the top area. well I would not say blessed. because of course my husband is not a boob man and does not like them. I have to wear clothes to big for me that make me look bigger cause if I dont my boobs will get all the talking to and what is funny is that is is just not men. now they to me make me feel uneasy(men)but the women are going dam she has some big ole you know what. I hate them!!!! when I am around his family his step sister has always made comments like the reason her son when he was a baby liked me was because of my boobs. no matter who is sitting around. even she said something when at cracker barrel ok if you have ever been there for one you know it is jamed packed all the time and for to it is familys.I just cant find the string I need to cut for me to be free. I day dream of living by my selfwith my daughter but then comes the churning in my stomach. I have often just said well I can go find someone not wanting a relationship and just get some sex but I look at my self and say yea right like you would cheat on your husband get real. he walks all over me. treats me like **** and still I stay. I know one it is fear of doing it all by my self, to it is I will be alone with my daughter and that is scary as scary can get. I wnt have the protection of a man(I know ladies ya'll are saying pleaseee) but it is true all these are fears. and to top it off I do love him. you know hope floats where she is sitting on the floor of the bathroom after a night of drinking and she is speaking to her mother about how she misses hes hands on the small of her back and how she misses him holding her and just weeping well that is me. I miss a mans touch, the holding the looking into his eyes and know wow I have you alll to myself and how much I love him all the mushie stuff but most of all hell I am in need of some sex. I am only 32 and I think I will be 102 before I get it again. sheeeeeshhhh. what do I do. Link to post Share on other sites
FELIZE Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Whewwww! Cant get a word in edge-wise!...It's a whole world of things going on here Im not sure where to began or what to address first! Let me just say this: ddw5195: "I just cant find the string I need to cut for me to be free" Honestly, it seems to me that you already have, YOU JUST NEED TO CUT the dorn thing! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ddw5195 Posted October 18, 2006 Author Share Posted October 18, 2006 Whewwww! Cant get a word in edge-wise!...It's a whole world of things going on here Im not sure where to began or what to address first! Let me just say this: ddw5195: "I just cant find the string I need to cut for me to be free" Honestly, it seems to me that you already have, YOU JUST NEED TO CUT the dorn thing! I am just tired of crying and not haveing that special someone you know. most women would say your stupid because I like to be the take care of the house feed the animals take care of the husband and the kids and to be home when he gets home. I want those things where he holds me when he comes home and says how ways your day and kiss me gently. I am tell you the string is insvible and the dam thing moves every time I go to just cutting. Link to post Share on other sites
FELIZE Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 ddw? Stop crying and do something about it. Turn all those tears into energy & make some changes! Otherwise this cycle will continue. Of course you can have this: [ddw5195 quote] I like to be the take care of the house feed the animals take care of the husband and the kids and to be home when he gets home. I want those things where he holds me when he comes home and says how ways your day and kiss me gently. But you're NOT getting it from him? So why are you keeping yourself in it? He keeps putting you down, and who -knows whatever else; And your child probably see's this too, it's not healthy for them. [ddw5195 quote] "I am not ugle(not bragging on my self)(and as much husband has dised me I dont feel pretty but I cant be that ugly" Well be brave & pretty enough to give yourself & child a better life! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ddw5195 Posted October 18, 2006 Author Share Posted October 18, 2006 ddw? Stop crying and do something about it. Turn all those tears into energy & make some changes! Otherwise this cycle will continue. Of course you can have this: [ddw5195 quote] I like to be the take care of the house feed the animals take care of the husband and the kids and to be home when he gets home. I want those things where he holds me when he comes home and says how ways your day and kiss me gently. But you're NOT getting it from him? So why are you keeping yourself in it? He keeps putting you down, and who -knows whatever else; And your child probably see's this too, it's not healthy for them. [ddw5195 quote] "I am not ugle(not bragging on my self)(and as much husband has dised me I dont feel pretty but I cant be that ugly" Well be brave & pretty enough to give yourself & child a better life! let me start off by why I am angery this morning. I said something to him last night about money. we owne our company which we barely get by but my brother has been in some trouble. where all he need was some help. I am not made for him helping him cause I love my brother but when our account is in the neg. which by the bank we are not but you know how much you have when stuff is comming out etc you dont spend. well he did. he said to me to not to worry cause he knew what he was doing and what we had. and it was not in a nice way. so I said fine. well I got home and I had washed a load of clothes that morning and had not had a chance to put them in the dryer well he decides cause he has no more jeans to instead of putting them in the dryer which nothing in there and even if it were all he had to do was put them on the bed and I as usual would fold and put them up. instead he takes my clothes out(still wet) and puts them back in the dirty clothes. he says cause he needed the dryer and they would not have dried by the time his was done washing. any way to come to the point he did this to piss me off and cause a fight. and when I just not 10 mins ago brought it to his attention he says at the end of the conversation we are just to totaly different people and my response was your right we are. he done this to spite me and to cause a fight. this may seem little but he is mean this way all the time. at least once to twice daily. hugggggggh and then he says I gotta go cause he has our daughter to pick up like he does this on a regular basises. I am the one that works 30 min away form school stops what I am doing and goes gets her and then still have to come back to work. p.s. she does not see us fight but I cant stand this any more. Link to post Share on other sites
FELIZE Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 I suppose you'll just CUT the ties! I can understand the clothes/dryer thing, he really didnt have to do that, like you said he could have just put them on the bed to be folded. Sounds like he's a bit Selfish & Self-centered too. Stop letting him walk over you, you're not a Doormat! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts