CrazyGirl66 Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 months. It has been a great relationship, we get along great. He called to tell me that he got drunk at a party, played a silly game and kissed two girls, no tongue, not a passionate kiss, just a quick peck. He asked if I was mad, I told him no. The more and more I thought about it, yea, I got mad! I would never do that, and I think it was just flat wrong and disrespectful that he did. Then I look on the other side, he told me, said he was sorry and promised to never do it again. So, I sit here and get angry thinking of it, and wonder, am I wrong for thinking this way? Was this cheating? And most importantly, should I just blow it off and not care or look at this as a red flag? Any advice would be insightful! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Cheating implies deceit. Your boyfriend was drunk off his butt and kissed a couple of girls during harmless fun...something he would not do if he had all his wits and was sober. He announced to you what he did and did not try to keep it from you. No, he didn't cheat but he did hurt you. You should have let him know, without making a major scene or having a big argument, that he let you down and that you feel strange about this. Then just let it go. If you get really pissed, you discourage him from being honest in the future about other things. If it bothers you in a way you can't forget, you'll have to cut him loose. Otherwise, I think he has proven that he is open and honest and he certainly deserves credit for that. He has also proven that he is capable of doing some hurtful things when he's drunk and you might want to think about encouraging or helping him curtail his consumption of alcohol, even at parties. Link to post Share on other sites
megnog Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 tony t had it right on while being drunk shouldn't give any kind of right to cheating, this is a different situation that was harmless. he was honest and he did right and as long as he swears up and down that he will never do this again, you should be fine. sounds like a "decent" "typical" guy if that makes any sense... also, yeah, if he wants to go get drunk again perhaps you should go with him Link to post Share on other sites
FELIZE Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Im surprised he even told you! This is the kind of thing that men usually... just dont tell. Good for him, he was honest and at least he told you....You just might have a good catch! Link to post Share on other sites
Flyin in Clouds Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 Was he cheating? Drunk or not... doesn't matter. If he can't keep his lips off other women if he's drunk then he shouldn't have another drink ever.... If the two of you agreed that kissing other people, light pecks, was OK, then no it wasn't cheating. If you have the freedom to do what he did it's not cheating. But if you two agreed you wouldn't have that kind of contact with other people then it was cheating. If each of you agree that on New Years eve you can each have a lover and you each sleep with someone different on New Years, then it isn't cheating. But if you agree to be completely faithful and monogamous then sleeping around on New Years eve would be cheating. What you need to do is discuss with your bf all the things you two expect of each other and come to an agreement on all things realted to sex, your relationship to each other and your relatinships to other people. What about male friends? Can you have them? Spend time with them without your bf? Etc... the more you take about it the clearer it should be what both of you expect and what both of you won't tolerate. Don't assume anything. Make it explicit. Link to post Share on other sites
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