:( I cheated on my boyfriend how do I get his trust back

[xo2blonde2thinkx]

Hi! This is my first time writting on this. I was at a party 2 weekends ago and got completly trashed. I ended up cheating on my boyfriend with two other guys. My boyfriend read my cell phone when i was in the shower two days later and found out. I have been trying to talk to him I love him to death and have no idea why I cheated on him. He says that if i find away to get his trust back then he will consider giving me another chance. How can I work on getting his trust back?

[Pyro]

Hi! This is my first time writting on this. I was at a party 2 weekends ago and got completly trashed. I ended up cheating on my boyfriend with two other guys. My boyfriend read my cell phone when i was in the shower two days later and found out. I have been trying to talk to him I love him to death and have no idea why I cheated on him. He says that if i find away to get his trust back then he will consider giving me another chance. How can I work on getting his trust back?

 

He will be the one to decide that question. Time is what will help with that. If you really do want to gain his trust back, it will be a long and winding road. First and foremost, don't cheat again and you will have to be patient with his insecurity toward you.

[Mythical]

Hi,

I know you must be feeling super ****ty right now.

I have done things like that in the past (not with my current boyfriend) but I know it is very hard when you are drunk sometimes and things just happen.

If you truely really care about him and want to continue to be with him, you have to prove to him that it will never happen again and it can't happen again!

It is defiently going to be very hard for him to trust you, im sure everytime you go out, or are drinking he is going to get defensive and make comments, not rust you etc. Bt as much as you want it to go away ASAP you have to understand how you would feel if you were in his position.

Be there for him and prove to him that you care and will never do it again.

If you are the type that can't control yourself when your drinking maybe you have to stop when your not with him. I was the exact same way....good luck...it will take time

[Bryanp]

I am not sure if I read this correctly but are you saying that you had sex with two other guys at a party? If so then you need to get tested for STD's. I think it would be very difficult for your boyfriend to overcome this if this is what you said. The fact that you did not tell him and he had to find out himself says a great deal. In addition, you said you had no idea why you cheated. Why does that tell you? What would you say if your boyfriend said he cheated on you with two other women at a party but he does not why he did it? I think most people would walk away if their boyfriend or girlfriend did this to them. How disresectful and humiliating to your boyfriend.

[Mythical]

You know what this is really true. I totally agree with Bryan and well I know now (I was a little imamture before) but I would ave my b/f /g/fin second if this happened. And yes you should go get tested....he could wake up with a nasty desease and it was all your fault.I can defiently say ive never slept with two ppl in 1 night not even in 2 months!!!

[MadDog]

I know it is very hard when you are drunk sometimes and things just happen.

 

I've had to say this in the past but alcohol doesn't make it so "things just happen." It's not like you get drunk and a demon possesses your body and makes you have random threesomes. It just lowers your inhibition and makes you do something you wanted to do to begin with but was afraid to because of the consequences.

 

MD

[evan]

Don't get "completely trashed".

 

The point is, you cheated. Why should he trust you? It sounds as if it's in his best interest not to.

[Spectre]

You implied you had a threesome, if thats true, you actually think your bf would take you back?

 

 

 

 

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

 

how naive kids can be.

 

good luck, dont bang two guys next time you get drunk

[megnog]

there is no way you can show him that you will never do that again in a day because that takes time. however, if there is something he dislikes about you, like you go out too often or get drunk all the time, maybe you could cut back on that for a while to show how much he means to you and how much you don't want that to ever happen again. what you did was pretty bad and i don't think he should take you back, but if hes willing, then you need to show him that you are going to change up your style to make sure that never happens again

[i2uthless]

Once you cheat on a guy, it is the ultimate betrayal. I seriously doubt he'd want you back.

 

Just don't make excuses, admit your mistake, don't talk to any other guys but him for a long time might do it.

[Flyin in Clouds]

... I was at a party 2 weekends ago and got completly trashed. ... How can I work on getting his trust back?

 

Step 1. Join AA...

 

Step 2. Don't go to parties without your boyfriend. Just say no.

 

Frankly I don't think anything will work cause I sure wouldn't have anything to do with a woman that "didn't know why" she cheated with two guys...

 

I am curious as to how you would react if your BF cheated with two women? Would you trust him? What could he do to get your trust back?

[Guest]

You don't need your boyfriend back you need many boyfriend

[Spectre]

i should market a new product, "the clamp" its kinda like the club, except it keeps a chicks legs closed, and only her bf knows the combo, this way she cant go banging 2 guys at a party drunk then whining when her bf doesnt trust her and dumps her, seriously. almost as bad as thouse douchebags who preach that "i wont tell my s/o i cheated cuz i dont wanna hurt them"

 

hell i hope it was a 3some, cuz the alternative is two separate incidents on cheating on the same night, which is just even more sad

[mental_traveller]

You could try offering him a threesome as "compensation".

[samsungxoxo]

I would be wasting my time on the name callings and lecturing you why you shouldn't cheat, this is not what you came for anyways. You asked why to gain back his trust.

 

1) Like a previous poster stated, joined an AA program, get helped with your drinking problem

2) Go to individual counseling on couples, thus you can find out the real reason why you acted out in your fantasy (as you know, alcohol doesn't really make you do things, it just lowers your inhibitions, but your fantasies were always there)

3) Call him often and inform him where you are at all times and tell him he can come along if he wants it, him with

4) If you're gonna drink once in a while, drink with him or with your family, never alone

5) Then came will tell when he decides to come back and trust you again

 

For now the most important thing is to know exactly why you cheated, how was the relationship in general (good, rocky, bad, how?).

[samsungxoxo]

Oh and do get both you and your b/f tested for STD's.

[stillafool]

Sweetie guys usually put their girl on a pedestal. You didn't just fall off of it you plummeted off of yours. I seriously doubt this guy is going to look at you the same way again no matter what you do. Maybe if you had slept with only one guy, but two? What you can expect from your boyfriend from this point on is a total lack of respect for you. He could make you his doormat at this point.

 

The only thing that might work at this point is to go to him and tell him

"I apologize again, I am so ashamed of my actions. I want to break up with you because I don't feel I'm worthy of your love and trust". This will put the ball in his court to either let you go right there or give him time to think about you, miss you and decide he wants you back. If he wants you back he will come to you with forgiveness. When and if he forgives then you can work on being the best gf he's ever had. If you go begging after him at this stage you will end up being his doormat and will never be able to make this up to him.