A question for the inteligent people on the forum

[Guest]

HI I've been reading the threads on this forum for a while and found there are a lot of inteligent and helpful people here so I have a question for you.

 

How do you learn to accept yourself?

[FELIZE]

Realize that you're a human being & no one is perfect.......you should be on your way!

[laRubiaBonita]

if you pretend to like yourself for long enough.... you get kinda used to it after a while.

[bluechocolate]

I'm waiting to see who shows up to the call for intelligent people.

 

 

As to your question - what is that poem? Ah yes - The Desiderata by Max Ehrmann.

 

Then theres the bit about accepting the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can & the wisdom to know the difference.

 

So there's a start for you.

[Sand&Water]

Reply:

 

This thread is, in one way or another, discriminatory. Less intelligent human beings should also be given the opportunity to input their thoughts/opinions.

 

Here is a start for you:

 

Learn to spell correctly, before you can acquire intelligent ideas from other.

 

The Alpha, and Omega.

 

"Cogito, ergo sum" or in simple english: "I think, therefore I am" - René Descartes

 

Sand&Water

[quankanne]

How do you learn to accept yourself?

 

by realizing that despite my particular quirks and flaws, there is no one else in the world quite like me, nor will there ever be. This has given me a fuller sense of self that I didn't find anywhere else. And makes it easier to love myself (in a healthy way, mind you, not narcissistically!) ...

[Green]

Please Define what it is to accept ones self and I'll let you know how I do it if I do it...

[quankanne]

Have you ever noticed that extremely intelligent people are often the ones who find it harder to accept themselves?

 

might be because they're more exacting of themselves, less likely to embrace any "imperfections" they feel have

[a4a]

Chiming in to say that there are a lot of intelligent but absent minded bad spellers out there!

 

 

Have you ever noticed that extremely intelligent people are often the ones who find it harder to accept themselves?

 

 

Of course because they seek improvement and knowledge in most aspects of there life.

 

Not a matter of self acceptance but instead seeking betterment of the self?

 

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

For other uses, see Acceptance (disambiguation).

Acceptance, in spirituality, mindfulness, and human psychology, usually refers to the experience of a situation without an intention to change that situation.

 

Now how dull would that be..... ^ I suck and I accept that I am an ass and I accept that........

 

Now pull my finger! (how is that for raw intelligence, as I am actually trying to condition my sphincter to react from a finger pull, self betterment and controlled flatuence)

[pricillia]

learn to accept others and you will accept yourself

 

that is my secret.

[everlong]

sometimes acceptence comes from the awareness that your life is on the right track. and living a life inspired by what is true to you brings you inner peace. when you become aware of the day that you have stopped making judgements about yourself based on what your personality it telling you that [i look bad wearing this, i wonder if he thinks that, etc.] and u listen more to your 'self' u will see things in a new perspective.

[Noos]

How can you not let other people's opinions of you affect you? Isn't 'worth' a quality that gets its meaning from relativity?

 

I have a friend who puts down my job - she clearly infers that she thinks my intelligence and achievements are inferior to hers because I earn less money and am not working for a well known company. I assume she is articulating what many other people in her position think about me and presume that many peopole I know look down on me because I'm not a lawyer or engineer.

 

How can you not let that affect you?

[Ariadne]

How do you learn to accept yourself?

 

Oh, that's not something that you can learn.

 

Ariadne

[everlong]

"How can you not let other people's opinions of you affect you? Isn't 'worth' a quality that gets its meaning from relativity? I assume she is articulating what many other people in her position think about me and presume that many people I know look down on me because I'm not a lawyer or engineer. How can you not let that affect you?"

 

Hmmmmmm....let me explain it this way - i mentioned earlier that acceptance [for me anyways] comes from inside - when you are true to your self - then you have acceptance. your question is how can the opinions of others not effect you? well, its easy - you choose to either let it effect you or not. It's like letting go. You know when you break up with someone? Do you like their feelings effect that decision? No. You still do what you feel is right for you. You make the choice. Another example: say someone said something to you and it made you feel resentful. You can remind yourself that any hurt you may feel is what you choose to feel. so, when you think about it - the only person that matters regarding who and what you are as a person is YOU. no-one else is you. you do have to measure up to anyone else's standard's - only your own.

 

does that make sense?

[Shovelack]

I learn to accept myself by seeing how ridiculous everyone else is.

[Noos]

"How can you not let other people's opinions of you affect you? Isn't 'worth' a quality that gets its meaning from relativity? I assume she is articulating what many other people in her position think about me and presume that many people I know look down on me because I'm not a lawyer or engineer. How can you not let that affect you?"

 

Hmmmmmm....let me explain it this way - i mentioned earlier that acceptance [for me anyways] comes from inside - when you are true to your self - then you have acceptance. your question is how can the opinions of others not effect you? well, its easy - you choose to either let it effect you or not. It's like letting go. You know when you break up with someone? Do you like their feelings effect that decision? No. You still do what you feel is right for you. You make the choice. Another example: say someone said something to you and it made you feel resentful. You can remind yourself that any hurt you may feel is what you choose to feel. so, when you think about it - the only person that matters regarding who and what you are as a person is YOU. no-one else is you. you do have to measure up to anyone else's standard's - only your own.

 

does that make sense?

 

Yes. My problem is that I want to take it further. I want them to know that they are not better than I am, that they are *******s and for them to change.

 

I know I can't do that but I just get so angry.

[Guest]

How can you not let other people's opinions of you affect you?

 

Simple. Just do it.

 

Isn't 'worth' a quality that gets its meaning from relativity?

 

Maybe. IF it was universal. But it isn't, which means it's pointless.

 

Look at it this way. Let's say you LOOOOOVE chocolate cake. Let's say it's your favorite food in the whole world. And let's say you go out to dinner and happen to be out with 25 people - all of whom can't abide chocolate. In fact, they denigrate it and hate it. Does this stop you liking chocolate? Of course not, because it's just their OPINION, and moreover it's just the opinion of a small group out of the many billion people on earth. The very next night you could go out to dinner with 25 people who adore chocolate. Does it mean one is right and the other wrong or that you are right one night and wrong the other? Of course not. It means some people think one thing and others another and never the twain shall meet.

 

Take another example. Some people loathe G. Bush. Other people adore the man. Are there two men? Is he visible sometimes to half the people and other times to the other half? No. It's just opinion.

 

So there will always be people who think things of you. Usually they will be wrong. But whatever they think, it's just an opinion like opinions about music or cars or cheese. They are irrelevant to your existence.

 

Now. If every single person you met over the course of a few years all thought you mean, then perhaps it would be worth exploring whether you might be mean. But ONLY if you find that ALL the people you meet think EXACTLY the same thing should you worry.

 

I have a friend who puts down my job - she clearly infers that she thinks my intelligence and achievements are inferior to hers because I earn less money and am not working for a well known company.

 

Well, actually she 'implies'. You 'infer'. But anyway. Are you POSITIVE that that's what she thinks? Or are you just inferring? Because if you are, you could be wrong.

 

I assume she is articulating what many other people in her position think about me and presume that many peopole I know look down on me because I'm not a lawyer or engineer.

 

That's illogical. 1. You cannot read minds. 2. Just because one person has an opinion does not mean everyone else does (that rarely happens). 3. It is beyond unfair to assume malice on the part of others AND get mad at them when you have ZERO evidence that they think what you think they're thinking. This is called 'having a chip on one's shoulder' and it's not an attractive quality. Stop it.

 

How can you not let that affect you?

 

You REFUSE to allow yourself to 'assume' anything about anyone. Find out the truth before you condemn. Even, in the worst of cases, should you find out you were correct, it's still a moot point because it's only their opinion.

 

Care about the opinions of the people you like and admire. Strive to emulate people you like and admire. But don't try to please everyone because you'd need to develop about three billion different personalities to be liked by everyone.

[Adunaphel]

How can you not let other people's opinions of you affect you? Isn't 'worth' a quality that gets its meaning from relativity?

 

I have a friend who puts down my job - she clearly infers that she thinks my intelligence and achievements are inferior to hers because I earn less money and am not working for a well known company. I assume she is articulating what many other people in her position think about me and presume that many peopole I know look down on me because I'm not a lawyer or engineer.

 

How can you not let that affect you?

 

 

...dropping this friend and finding a new one.

 

Some people are just bad for you to have around.

 

I've found it easier to accept myself since I learnt to tell apart opinions that are really important to me from those that are not.

 

When I think of myself as a loser (which is happening quite often lately), I usually start feeling a little better as soon as I remember that people whom I certainly do not consider losers, and whose other friends I admire, have a very good opinion of me.

 

When someone tells you/makes you understand that he/she does not think much of what kind of person you are, or what you do, ask yourself: would you really like to be that person?

 

Are you sure she is implying that, and trying to tell you that, you are less intelligent than her?

Does she put your job down *just because*?

If so, what are you still doing around her?

[lindya]

I have a friend who puts down my job - she clearly infers that she thinks my intelligence and achievements are inferior to hers because I earn less money and am not working for a well known company. I assume she is articulating what many other people in her position think about me and presume that many peopole I know look down on me because I'm not a lawyer or engineer.

 

Imagine you're out for a walk with a friend, and they suddenly bolt off...then 100 yards along turn round and announce

 

"Haha - we had a race and I beat you. I am, therefore, superior in every way to you!"

 

What would you think of that behaviour? It's not dissimilar to what your friend seems to be doing, albeit on a far more subtle level. She's making the friendship a competition, and in a very tunnel visioned manner she's holding up her goals as the goals you should also be aspiring towards, even though your individual aspirations might well lie in a different direction altogether.

 

If your friend can't let go of that very narrow thinking, then maybe it is time to start easing out of the friendship. Especially if it has the net effect of encouraging you to either lose sight of your own personal goals or question whether they're really worth aspiring to.

[simon_uk]

 

Here is a start for you:

 

Learn to spell correctly, before you can acquire intelligent ideas from other.

 

Sand&Water

 

This is what acceptance isn't.

 

Finding fault with somebody else, suggests insecurities within oneself.

 

Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to be critical of other people's grammar.

 

How do you acquire intelligent idea's from 'other' or did you just miss an 's like the OP missed an L?

[dgiirl]

...dropping this friend and finding a new one.

 

Some people are just bad for you to have around.

 

I've found it easier to accept myself since I learnt to tell apart opinions that are really important to me from those that are not.

 

When I think of myself as a loser (which is happening quite often lately), I usually start feeling a little better as soon as I remember that people whom I certainly do not consider losers, and whose other friends I admire, have a very good opinion of me.

 

When someone tells you/makes you understand that he/she does not think much of what kind of person you are, or what you do, ask yourself: would you really like to be that person?

 

Are you sure she is implying that, and trying to tell you that, you are less intelligent than her?

Does she put your job down *just because*?

If so, what are you still doing around her?

 

 

 

I cannot agree more with this post. Life is way too precious to surround it with people who make you feel like crap. Not everyone is going to accept you. But those who dont, and those who make you feel bad about yourself, need to be removed from your life. You are in control of your own happiness, and part of that involves who you allow into your life. This does not sound like a very good friend, and in fact, sounds extremely shallow and arrogant to believe she's better than you. It's a sign of insecurity in herself. Insecure people tend to either brag about themselves, in order to raise themselves upwards to your level, or try to attack your selfworth in order to lower you to their level. You'll never receive acceptance from these people until they fix their own insecurities.

[dgiirl]

Reply:

 

This thread is, in one way or another, discriminatory. Less intelligent human beings should also be given the opportunity to input their thoughts/opinions.

 

Here is a start for you:

 

Learn to spell correctly, before you can acquire intelligent ideas from other.

 

The Alpha, and Omega.

 

"Cogito, ergo sum" or in simple english: "I think, therefore I am" - René Descartes

 

Sand&Water

 

 

Having a bad day? The OP was trying to throw out a compliment and you twist it into a negative thing?

[Sand&Water]

Reply:

 

This thread is, in one way or another, discriminatory. Less intelligent human beings should also be given the opportunity to input their thoughts/opinions.

 

Here is a start for you:

 

Learn to spell correctly, before you can acquire intelligent ideas from other.

 

The Alpha, and Omega.

 

"Cogito, ergo sum" or in simple english: "I think, therefore I am" - René Descartes

 

Sand&Water

I accept my mistake. It should have been others, instead of other.

 

Be careful folks of jumping to conclusions.

 

What I meant to say was:

 

When, Guest, accepts to learn to spell correctly, use of proper sentences, grammar, and embrace the opportunity to expand his/her knowledge, vocabulary, and intellectual boundaries -he/she is then inturn is able to accept his/her flaws. As a result, this creates personality growth and entail allows the person to provide benefits to society. In the end, he/she might even acquire feel good sensation along the way.

 

In other words, in order for a person to advance forward in his/her life as well as in society he/she must accept his/her own mistakes, and faults, and learn from them. [Apologies for the repetition]

 

Regards,

Sand&Water

[lindya]

[Apologies for the repetition]

 

Never mind the repetition, I demand some form of compensation for the outrageous over-use of commas.

[climbergirl]

...dropping this friend and finding a new one.

 

Some people are just bad for you to have around.

 

I've found it easier to accept myself since I learnt to tell apart opinions that are really important to me from those that are not.

 

When I think of myself as a loser (which is happening quite often lately), I usually start feeling a little better as soon as I remember that people whom I certainly do not consider losers, and whose other friends I admire, have a very good opinion of me.

 

When someone tells you/makes you understand that he/she does not think much of what kind of person you are, or what you do, ask yourself: would you really like to be that person?

 

Are you sure she is implying that, and trying to tell you that, you are less intelligent than her?

Does she put your job down *just because*?

If so, what are you still doing around her?

 

I agree....drop the friend.

 

In addendum, look at your friends as a reflection of yourself. I only have a couple of people I consider as my best friends (both 20+ years), and although to a third party we may seem to have very contrasting personalities, we all have similar constants that bind us together and make us compatible.....such as, loyalty/forgiveness/empathy/particular sense of humor. I've had friends come and go, but always because I or they didn't have one of these compatible traits.

 

It would be easy to be a loner. As a loner you have the ability to justify your actions, and always take the stance that YOU ARE RIGHT ALWAYS. But that is why that person is alone. And, to me, that isn't accepting yourself.....just deluding yourself in an effort to avoid accepting your flaws.

 

Adunaphel is right on about sifting out constructive/nonconstructive opinions. But part of accepting yourself is accepting the constructive criticism of those you trust. We (hopefully) are always evolving and always learning, as none of us are infallible. My friends call me on my **** and prod me to be true to myself. I don't always accept their criticism at first, but f#ck me if they aren't always spot on. One who has known me for 23 years always states to me when in not in agreement...."hey, this is your journey...". I love that about him.

 

I guess my point is this...accepting yourself is also accepting that you are not perfect, don't have all the answers, and that some close to us can see more clearly than you at times. I think it's important to use that insight in lieu of being offended and assume it to be an attack on you (as a whole).