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Roommate became lover - suggestions?


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I’m in my late 20s. Seven months ago I moved in with another woman and this guy I didn’t know, in order to save on rent. Shortly thereafter the guy got interested in me and I eventually accepted his advances.

 

Our intimacy has continued, and the other woman sharing the place moved out. This guy adores me and wants to marry but I don’t really love him that deeply. In my heart I know he isn’t the one I want for the long term. I’ve told him that and he’s still chosen to continue with me as his sole partner.

 

We’re continuing because we’re compatible as roommates and the dependable physical intimacy is nice. He’s OK with me dating other guys as long as it doesn’t get intimate. But my living with him creates a problem because when I meet other guys “with potential” and mention my casual live-in boyfriend, they never call back or don’t want to go out again.

 

Does anybody have suggestions how I might get to meet and know somebody I would feel more passionate about, without first having to cut off my adoring roommate and move out?

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I'm sorry but the only way I can think of is your moving out. Your roommate is too emotionally involved with you and will not tolerate other guys very easilly. Other men will pick up on this and suspect you and your roommate of sleeping together. I also don't feel it's fair to your roommate to date around knowing how he feels about you. You need to move.

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Does anybody have suggestions how I might get to meet and know somebody I would feel more passionate about, without first having to cut off my adoring roommate and move out?

 

I don't think you have any options that are really advisable.

 

You'd have to be (un!)lucky enough to meet someone who is about in the same situation as you - with a live-in gf (which would risk causing quite a lot of heartbreak), or a guy who is not looking for a serious relationship right now and/or wants to date also other people.

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