Moving back with my parents

[Ariadne]

We'll be going to:

 

Montevideo ( pic ) ( pic ) ( pic )

 

Uruguay

 

Ariadne

[the_alchemyst]

Some of those pictures look great, Ariadne. I especially like the second one next to Montevideo. I'd love to be able to walk through streets like those.

 

Hey, can I have your apartment?

 

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

Yes, Montevideo is an old city.

 

And my apt, no, I'll be glad to give it back.

 

Ariadne

[Bobby Brady]

I don't understand why you don't work.

 

Also I don't get why you let your son play world warcraft all day long.

 

But I agree with the other posters he is 16. It is a really tough time to move him and if he is finally doing well in school. Why can't you wait he'll be grown and out of the house soon than you can do whatever you want.

 

How hot are you?

 

[Ariadne]

Hi guys,

 

If anyone is still interested in this story... today was a stressful day to say the least.

 

This morning I had to check my son out of the school (ack). I went there feeling very bad, and the principal was reassuring and said that three months is not going to ruin his life, she told me to do what I had to do to take care of myself first, and see you in three months (phew). I gave her a hug and thanked her.

 

Then they gave me instructions on the procedures to re-enroll him and wished us a nice trip. So, that wasn't so bad and gave me some hope. (I was thinking I can come back earlier than three months too).

 

Ironically today I got his first report card and he was passing all of his classes and even one teacher commented "a pleasure to have in class". That was kind of sour sweet, but I guess it'll help for them to take him back.

 

Ok, step two. We went to the dentist that I was waiting for a month for this appt. But, instead of fixing his teeth they wanted to do some "cleaning" (omg). Then the dentist told me that he refuses to fix his teeth because he doesn't brush well and is going to be a waste, and that he is going to transfer him to another dentist .

 

I told him my son was leaving tonight to Vegas and then we'll move to SA, that he only had one day in between to get some work done at least. He refused, and said that was not his problem :eek: . So I started crying and please, do something, a little bit... so upset I was that he told the lady to make an appt on the only day he'll be here and "make it late in the day" he said. Sigh. I just wish he'll do something that day and not give me another story. I can't believe it.

 

So tonight he is going to travel to Vegas to see the father, and I'm going to have to do some miracle and find a Nintendo WII in the next couple weeks.

 

Ariadne

[Ariadne]

Hi guys,

 

Well, so I'm half way packed. And tomorrow is the day of the moving. I rented a truck for tomorrow at 8am. I still have ways to go here but my friend guy has been a great support helping me too.

 

My son had a nice Thanksgiving with his father, grandma, uncle and cousins on his father's side this time. All in Las Vegas and is already saying he wants to come back but, tough luck.

 

Still have to find the Wii, if anyone knows where to find one let me know.

 

Ariadne

[hotgurl]

How hot are you?

 

 

curvy, long hair, and a little dirty.

[dolphinman]

I'm so sad to see you go. When will you come back?

[AriaIncognito]

Wow. I really hope that your son doesn't end up royally messed up because of this. Why couldn't you wait until he was completed with school, instead of having to uproot him and jeopardize his future? Basically, what it seems like you're doing, is condemning him to the life you've chosen for yourself. Do you really want that for him? You say you don't like working, who does? I dont think there are many of us that want to get up and work daily, but we all do it, because that's how this society works. Christmas time is an easy time to find work. Every store everywhere is hiring. Making 6 bucks an hour at Macy's over the holidays sure beats sitting around all day doing nothing more than feeling sorry for oneself. I'm not trying to be a b*tch here, but it upsets me greatly to see someone who CAN do something with their life, sit there and say "eh, it's too hard, so i want to just sit back and do nothing". If we all had this attitude, the country, the world, would crumble as we know it.

 

You say your son sits around and plays WoW all day, well, we learn by our parents example. What motivation does he have to be the best version of himself, when he sees you're able to sit there and do nothing and get away with it?

 

I really dont mean for this to be so harsh, but well, sometimes, I guess the truth hurts.

 

I really hope your son is able to recover from this, because if he doesn't, you're going to be in for a whole new world of regret, far more than the Arab guy or the Jewish guy or Denver guy combined ever gave you.

[dolphinman]

You make some good observations ariawoman. You formed a half decent hypothesis as well. Sure, it's judgemental, accusatory, but it's also half-baked, at least from my perspective. It's too easy to point the finger of blame. It's too simplistic to weigh the "facts" and conclude "idle hands are the devil's workshop". I think it better to look deeper, to go beyond the simple "facts" and delve where no man has gone before. No, wait, that's Picard.

 

My take: Kid plays WoW all day because he can. Mom doesn't work because she doesn't have to. The longer Mom doesn't work the more fearful she becomes of work. The longer the kid shys away from the world in the land of games, the less likely and harder it will be for him to come out and actually relate to the world, again...same for Mom too actually. Sure, the kid's doing better at school. He's shown he can do it well. He's recently and temporarily motivated, for some reason. Still playing the games though. Mom's gotten used to chitchating the net and having a FWB and smokin' the good stuff. Not a downward spiral as yet, just a sideways move neither progressing nor falling back...."this is your brain...this is your brain on dope" sort of a thing.

 

Conclusion: She stays and keeps the kid in his present school and he stays in his current mindset and activities. She stays she continues to smoke and eff fwb and worry about having to get a job to the point of it's too late such that she'll have to do something drastic to make the rent, etc.

 

Best Plan of Action: Give up everything in LA and take the kid with her to SA. Get the familial help of the extended family there...grandparents and cousins and old friends, etc. Get back in touch with their "roots". Revitalize. A kid missing a few months of school isn't doomed in any way. Just the contrary.... he's tasted "success".. let him find renewed motivation, far, far, away...yet back "home". One specific school isn't the or really, an answer. Could have just been that stepping stone... the one that launched the lad. The one that showed him he COULD do it. A small taste of victory.

 

Enjoy the summer, lose some weight, lose the fwb, lose the Jamaican, find yourself again. Sometimes to help others, we have to help ourselves first.

 

Just my opine.

[Ariadne]

Hi guys,

 

Thank you so much for the amazing responses from ariawoman and dolphinman.

 

Dolphinman knows me for many years back from the forum where I met Denver guy. He is the most incredible, insightful, smart, and amazing in every way guy (but in a tough, tell it to your face way). A true man. And one of my major crushes there in that forum, even before Denver guy (but he never wanted to meet in RL). He said hi after a while, and I told him about LS.

 

Ariawoman, you are right in all you said. I can't get back to you right now. And you too dolphinman, but you know me better.

 

About the moving.... ahhhhhhhhhhh.... I was supposed to return this apt yesterday (thus the moving was on the 28th) and I still have tons and tons of stuff in here... It's like endless. Last night I was stiff tired, I couldn't even move or stand up straight. The storage is about to explode and still stuff left. I haven't cancelled any utilities yet and my son is coming tonight.

 

Ariadne

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

I'm so sad to see you go. When will you come back?

 

Well, what can you do. The return ticket is for March 4th, but I think I might come back earlier if I get too bored there and feel like doing something and get the kid back to school. Who knows.

 

Ariadne

[Antheia]

Just to let you all know that I have heard from Ariadne and she arrived safely in Uruguay. She says she is bored and hates it already. Hopefully she will start posting on here soon but Internet there is incredibly slow. COME BACK ARI!

[Ariadne]

Hi guys,

 

Well, I'm back posting. I got DSL now.

 

I'm having a great time with my parents, even though the day that I got here it was a bit of a shocker because of the big change (you know, I was used to the fwb guy etc).

 

My son is enjoying too. I got him the Wii after all. On the last day I stood outside Target at 5am and got one of the 40 numbers they were giving away. (But he passed Zelda in like 3 days and the other Raymond some in a matter of hours so that didn't last, but he is back online now with his Wow)

 

Ok, have some catching up to do with the threads,

 

Ariadne

[burning 4 revenge]

Hey, good to see you again. Give us more details

[Touche]

Hi guys,

 

Well, I'm back posting. I got DSL now.

 

I'm having a great time with my parents, even though the day that I got here it was a bit of a shocker because of the big change (you know, I was used to the fwb guy etc).

 

My son is enjoying too. I got him the Wii after all. On the last day I stood outside Target at 5am and got one of the 40 numbers they were giving away. (But he passed Zelda in like 3 days and the other Raymond some in a matter of hours so that didn't last, but he is back online now with his Wow)

 

Ok, have some catching up to do with the threads,

 

Ariadne

 

Glad things are going well ariadne. I'm jealous of your DLS. I just moved and went from cable high speed to dial up. What am I going to do? They don't offer anything else out here in hick town! Waaa!

 

Well keep us updated, ok?

[Guest]

U Are Back With Your Parents? I Thought You Bought A House? You Are Working Right? Taking Meds?

[Ariadne]

Hey you B4R,

 

Good to see you too.

 

Give us more details

 

Sigh... Ok, I'm doing the nun's life or some, kind of like my mom's pet.

 

I get up, make coffee, and check the email. Then I go to the kitchen where my mom is usually making stuff, and I sit there and chat to her. If she has to go somewhere... anywhere.. I go with her.

 

That's about it. Ah, and at 6pm we watch a Brazilian soap that rocks. Sometimes we rent DVDs. Hmmm and at 8pm (daytime here) or so I go for a walk so that I lose weight. I lost like 6 pounds already. And I read at night before going to bed.

 

But now I guess I'll be on LS too.

 

Ariadne

[Ariadne]

Hey!

 

I just moved and went from cable high speed to dial up.

 

(Oh no, I just didn't even want to come to the forum with the dial up, plus they charged by the minute and it was a rip off)

 

So you bought the house?

 

(Ohh... I'm so jealous). Congratulations! Hope you grow to love the new place.

 

Ariadne

[Ariadne]

Lol

 

U Are Back With Your Parents?

 

Yep, back home.

 

I Thought You Bought A House?

 

Oh, I think that's never going to happen. A toy house maybe, but I don't care for those.

 

You Are Working Right?

 

Working on losing weight at least.

 

Taking Meds?

 

Nah, don't take meds. Well, only tranquilizers and sleeping pills at some time or another. When I don't want do deal much with the reality of losing someone I loved with all of my heart.

 

Ariadne

[Ariadne]

Hi guys,

 

Well, if anyone still remembers this thread, here's an update...

 

I went to live with my parents for the three months, and things didn't turn out as expected.

 

I had a moment of revelation where I realized that I just didn't like my father at all, or even loved him very much. I'd still do anything for him, if he ever needs my help etc, but unfortunately I came to terms with that.

 

Also, I had a vision of all the dynamics in my household that had made my mom a victim of his abuse and control, which made me very sorry for my mother, made me love her even more, made me cry for her so much, and dislike him even more.

 

I ended up avoiding him, and since he is retired and living in the same house, it turned out to be a really uncomfortable situation since I didn't want to be in the same room with him.

 

The only positive thing that happened, besides being with my mother, was that I got back in shape. More than I've ever been. And I got clean from the Jamaican smoke for good.

 

But I just couldn't wait to come back to LA.

 

Which I did. The FWB Jewish guy sent me emails telling me that he missed me, and that he was waiting for me, and that I could stay with him until I got back on my feet and got a job etc etc.

 

So when my son and I arrived, he was waiting for us at the airport. Cool.

 

Just that the next day he kicked us out. He said that he was going to help me until I got on my feet and got a job, but that he thought I'd do that "in a day or two" and that I was going to rent an apt "in a day or two".

 

When I told him I was hoping that I could stay with him for a month or so (and even pay him rent) he freaked out and became very abusive (yelling, being mad, everything bothered him) and told us to leave before the weekend. He just couldn't stand us there.

 

So, I cried quite a lot. I felt very alone and scared, but went to an old apt building of mine and managed to rent a one bedroom apt, despite the fact that I'm "still" not working... But since I had a good record with them they took me in.

 

I've moved some 10 days ago and for some reason I can't get myself to do anything.

 

I've gotten very depressed and I don't know why. Ever since I moved in this apt I've been cleaning drawers of papers where I found my tickets to Denver (my eternal love guy), emails from Denver guy, pics of Denver guy, receipts from Denver etc etc that got me in the darkest mood.

 

All I've found myself doing lately is reading old posts from Denver guy (he has over 5K) in another forum. That's what I usually do when I miss him, since he doesn't talk to me after he got together with that girl.

 

So I've been unable to unpack even. Well, I've gone through a bunch of boxes but I'm nowhere near done and I had plenty of time to be all done by now. But I can't. I'm petrified.

 

Well, other than that, I got my son back in the same school. I had another scare because they didn't want to take him, because he was off for so long, but they did after he signed an agreement not to be late, not to miss school, and pass his classes. So that put us under a lot of stress but he's been managing.

 

I just hope I get out of this feeling of doom, I think the messy apt with the boxes is not helping much at all, and get on with my life. I guess.

 

Ariadne