my friends hate my man

[destiny]

I had been with my ex a few years. We broke up ~8 months ago. During the time we were together, he and my friends did not get along. He thought that my friends were "goody-goodies" (they kind of are) and he was sometimes rude and disrespectful to them. It got to the point where If I wanted to go out somewhere I had to choose between going with him or them because having him around my friends made me stress about what rude thing he might say to them, and because my friends came out and told me that they did not want to be around him.

 

We broke up because we were having many problems, mostly I did not trust his fidelity to me at the time. My friends were all too happy to hear about the break up and when I told them of my concerns they immediatly concluded that he was cheating on me (i had no proof).

 

Now some time has passed and he and I have started seeing eachother once again. He has been through alot of major changes in his life (not just with us) since we broke up. I can tell he has matured alot and is really trying to show me how much I mean to him. I want to try to make things work this time and am willing to give him a second chance SLOWLY and cautiously.

 

THE PROBLEM IS that I know my friends will never understand what I see in him, as he has always acted like a jerk in front of them and they think he cheated on me. I don't blame them for how they feel. He says he now sees how wrong it was to treat them this way, and says he wants to make ammends with them and that he would apologize to them if he came in contact with them. I am afraid that if this happens it will somehow just blow up in my face. I just want everyone to get along but I am afraid my boyfriend has just done too much damage in the past. I feel like he is truly my soulmate but I only have a few friends (that I am close to) and I can't imagine spending my life with someone who they can't at least get along with.

 

Sorry this is so long. I would appreciate any advise.

[Totally Confused]

Sorry to say, but it seems your friends care about you and show you more respect than your bf. By being rude, calling them goody goodies, and showing them disrespect, shows his true nature. By showing them disrespect, he's showing you disrespect. It shows classlessness. Whether he liked your friends or not, if he loved and respected you, he would treat them with class, just because he knows how much they mean to you. You can push your friends away, but when this guy hurts you again, don't expect them to be there for you. If all your friends have a problem with him, maybe you should take a really good look at him. He's showing them his true nature and not you. Yes he may be nice to you, but that's cause he wants you back and he's trying to keep you. But how he's treating your friends, is how he's going to eventually treat you. The fact that he's cheated on you shows he's a scumbag. Your friends were there for you, when he hurt you. They listened to all you went through, whether there was proof or not. They were good to you. Now you're back with this guy, and they're feeling betrayed. After all they tried to do to help you get through the pain, only for you to go back to this guy. They're probably upset. Now, it's only been 8mo. since this guy broke up with you. Honestly, I don't think he's changed one bit. He sounds selfish. He wants what he wants and he'll suck up and act like he's changed, to get what he wants. The real test would be as to how he treats your friends now. You should put your friends first, because when this guy hurts you again - and guaranteed he will, your friends won't be there and you'll be alone. Friends are forever, men come and go.