colorado_irish44 Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 What should I do???? I love my husband, but I get the butterflies in the stomach when I see George*. George is one of my co-workers. What does all this mean? Also, have I cheated on my husband if I have kissed George? *Real name withheld Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 'Butterflies' is nothing. It's not love. It's not fate. It's nature wanting you to make babies with people. Ignore it because it's no more important than a sneeze. You made vows when you married. Honor them. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 1. I love my husband, but I get the butterflies in the stomach when I see George*. 2. George is one of my co-workers. 3. What does all this mean? 4. Also, have I cheated on my husband if I have kissed George? 5. What should I do???? 1. The old "loving someone but falling IN love with someone else" story. Its the rush of something new, nothing more nothing less. You like how you feel with that new attention, new flirtation - I expect you feel sexy and wanted. First blush attraction is powerful stuff. The trick is to realize that you are addicted to that feeling, not this man. 2. Bad news. Imagine how awkward its going to get. It will end with you and George. It always does. Unless of course you plan on divorcing your husband to be with George, but I don't see that happening. 3. It means you are all about the chemical rush of "falling in love" - its possible to love someone (your husband) and still get this rush with someone else - its the reason people cheat. The succumb to that rush. Once that rush wears off one of two things happen - they either dump the person they cheated with, or they genuinely begin to love the person they cheated with and end up divorcing their H/W to be with them. 4. Yes. You crossed the line and you know you plan on crossing it even further. 5. What do you want to do? Do you want to divorce your husband? I don't expect you do so you'll have to really understand what it is you are going through. You miss that rush, that excitement, that hot attraction and sexuality. Did you ever have that with your husband when you first got together? I don't know if that exact thing can be recaptured in a long term relationship, but I do know that the damage you have already done can be at least put on a reverse path. Plan on some counseling, either individual or marital counseling to see if you can get someone to help you unravel what it is you are doing and you will have to give up George. I think you know that already though. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 How would you feel if your husband told you he kissed his female co-worker and he gets butterflies when he is around her but he still loves you? It sounds pretty sad don't you think? By the way kissing another man means you cheated on your husband. If you have any respect left for your husband you will be upfront and honest with him. If the roles were reversed wouldn't you expect this from your husband? Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 What should I do???? I love my husband, but I get the butterflies in the stomach when I see George*. George is one of my co-workers. What does all this mean? Also, have I cheated on my husband if I have kissed George? *Real name withheld Remind yourself why you got married, and what commitment is. The other posters are right, all humans will be attracted to the opposite sex as long as we live. People that understand commitement and are mature, know how to keep themselves away from this danger. Seek advice from strong married couples or therapy. Cheers! Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 Also, have I cheated on my husband if I have kissed George? My rules for cheating are simple. cheating = exchange of fluids. So, there ya go. ps. I don't subscribe to such things as emotional cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 Sure you cheated, but no harm done, so I wouldn't worry about it. The thing to keep in mind is that this is only the tip of the iceberg. I only wonder how you're going to handle a growing attachment to George while hanging on to the idea of your marriage. People do this every day, but I think I've never heard of a situation where one or the other relationship doesn't get broken. So you just have to choose one. Right now you're in the information-gathering phase. You don't know enough about George to make a choice one way or the other and feel good about it. If you did, then you'd have chosen already. So the real question is how can you get enough information together to make a good choice. How do you do it without sacrificing your own integrity? And how much is enough, and what information do you need? Do you need to know what it's like to wake up with George every day of the week? Do you need to know whether he has a temper? Do you need to know how he treats his family and friends? Do you need to know whether he respects other people's relationships? Do you need to know whether he has any skills in the bedroom? How does he manage his finances? Is he controlling? When he gets insecure, how does he act? Is he a good communicator? These are all just possibilities. There are thousands of questions to be asked. Which information do you need to get together before you go ahead and act? What do you want? Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 Yeah, she cheated, no harm done right? Cuz its not like even if she decides to stay with her husband, its not like shes gonna see the guy she cheated with everyday, right? so its all good, im glad there is no harm done. this woman has the luckiest husband alive. on another note, people, if youre gonna cheat, why dont you do it with someone who isnt a co-worker? cuz then if you ever want to reconcile with your husband, youre probably going to have to quit your job, and i bet you wouldnt like that, would you? Link to post Share on other sites
shawn_68 Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 I love my husband, but I get the butterflies in the stomach when I see George*. George is one of my co-workers. What does all this mean? Also, have I cheated on my husband if I have kissed George? Butterflies, Smutterflies. The fact is that you are easily swayed from your marriage vows. It IS a big deal. Are you ready for hurting your husband deeply and permanently? Are you ready to part ways with your husband and become strangers, never to talk again? Are you really ready for that? Butterflies. Pffft. You may not realize this now, but the choice that you are making carries serious consequences. Is this what you REALLY want?? Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted October 21, 2006 Share Posted October 21, 2006 on another note, people, if youre gonna cheat, why dont you do it with someone who isnt a co-worker? cuz then if you ever want to reconcile with your husband, youre probably going to have to quit your job, and i bet you wouldnt like that, would you?A co-worker is probably the most likely person to cheat with unless you're out there actively looking for someone. Sometimes, cheating happens because of a "crush." You're not going to develope a crush on someone you never meet, but when you see them on a daily basis your admiration may well grow. You might become friends, develope trust, and start seeing them as something more than just another person. To the OP; Unless you're comfortable telling your hubby about the kiss, you're cheating. Stop while you can. Link to post Share on other sites
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