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we've been fighting 4 a month & a half.

 

im not working & feelin not that great.

 

now she dosent want to be around,which is understandable

 

even tough we both want to work it out i dont want to loose her by trying to hard or not enough

 

stuck in ny

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she dosent tell me the everyday things for fear that im gonna get mad. the trust is seeping away

even tough we both want to work it out i feel like she hates me and feel i should leave her alone i dont want to loose her by trying to hard or not enough

 

how can i get her to open up to me again

 

stressed

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You don't give nearly enough information for anyone to help you.

 

How old are you?

 

How old is she?

 

Why aren't you working?

 

Are you ill in any way?

 

How long have the two of you been seeing each other?

 

Exactly what sorts of things do the two of you argue about?

 

Is she living with you now?

 

How often do you see her?

 

Who iniates the contact, you or her?

 

Exactly what are you getting out of this relationship that makes you want to preserve it?

 

Answer those questions and add any additional details if you can and we will do our best to help. Rambling on like you're doing is of no value...unless, of course, it make you feel better.

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You don't give nearly enough information for anyone to help you. How old are you? How old is she? Why aren't you working? Are you ill in any way? How long have the two of you been seeing each other? Exactly what sorts of things do the two of you argue about? Is she living with you now? How often do you see her? Who iniates the contact, you or her? Exactly what are you getting out of this relationship that makes you want to preserve it?

 

Answer those questions and add any additional details if you can and we will do our best to help. Rambling on like you're doing is of no value...unless, of course, it make you feel better. im 28 living at home & she is a 27 yr old full time working/student

 

about 4 yrs ago we had a relationship that lasted a yr

 

after about a yr we started talking as friends again

 

after awhile we realize that we feel really good together

 

at this point iv'e been living in HI and she comes for a visit. the bottom line i move home, at this point were together for 4 mos.

 

now i realize that i droped myself right in the middle of her life and feel like im in the way & it dose'nt help that

 

im broke.i cant seem to get motivated to find a job. she

 

lives w/her girlfriend & i see her usualy when

 

i iniate maybe once a week.and then we argue about why we cant get past this were geeting nowhere & its killing us. if this where anyone else we would have already parted ways but the way we made eachother feel is why we continue to try. she told me that

 

because of fighting (because of my insecurites)she dosent feel Secure anymore. dosent feel the same way but she is trying because she knows how we once were. how can i make her feel that way again ? do i just give her space

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You need to get motivated pronto. Being is a r/s with someone who has no motivation is like living with dead weight. Pull yourself together man!

 

You should have the mentality to want her to leave you, because you need to inprove yourself before you can make anyone happy. What do you have to offer her?

about 4 yrs ago we had a relationship that lasted a yr after about a yr we started talking as friends again after awhile we realize that we feel really good together at this point iv'e been living in HI and she comes for a visit. the bottom line i move home, at this point were together for 4 mos. now i realize that i droped myself right in the middle of her life and feel like im in the way & it dose'nt help that im broke.i cant seem to get motivated to find a job. she lives w/her girlfriend & i see her usualy when i iniate maybe once a week.and then we argue about why we cant get past this were geeting nowhere & its killing us. if this where anyone else we would have already parted ways but the way we made eachother feel is why we continue to try. she told me that because of fighting (because of my insecurites)she dosent feel Secure anymore. dosent feel the same way but she is trying because she knows how we once were. how can i make her feel that way again ? do i just give her space
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Velvet beat me to it. The most unattractive quality I can think of in a guy is lack of motivation. YUCK! Do whatever you need to do, read some books, take some courses, etc etc to become motivated, and that will solve MANY of your issues.

 

yuck yuck yuck. I absolutely cannot stand unmotivated bums sitting around without a job. And I cannot stand people that are broke by their own choice. Many females will agree with me.

 

So you need to change things around big-time with this problem. Get yourself a job. Any job.

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