Just out of curiousity

[Foreign_Love]

I was curious to know everyone's opinion of this. One of the things I noticed while arguing last night was that when I would try to identify a problem or point out an issue to my GF, she would immediately turn the same comment around on me.

 

So, if I said to her, "please don't make rude, nasty, immature comments to me - lets have an adult conversation." She would respond with "YOU are the one who is rude and immature! YOU are the one who is being nasty to me!"

 

This happened over and over again. It was to the point of where I actually asked her why she did that and she said "*I* don't do that! YOU always do that to me!"

 

Has anyone else experienced this? It seemed so weird to me. What is going on in her head? Why would someone choose to argue this way?

[Tony T]

1. "Has anyone else experienced this?"

 

Yes

 

2. "It seemed so weird to me. What is going on in her head?"

 

Irrationality, insanity and memories of the way her mother and father related.

 

3. "Why would someone choose to argue this way?"

 

Irrationality and insanity. Also low self esteem, insecurity, fear of loss of control, anxiety, sensory overload, the inability to come up with a logical argument...oh, did I say insanity?

[velvet]

Absolutely! My ex b/f, now just a co-worker of mine, reacts much the same as your g/f. Over a couple of years, and beating my head to figure, why this guy wouldnt allow me to argue back, I came to a realization. That he simply has been hurt. Hes has been so hurt in his life that he processes everything in an irrational way that he is incapable of reasoning. The only way to help him would be through heavy counseling.

 

Being that your g/f suffered through the majority of her adult life from her husband, she would need therapy as well.

 

Until than, you will loose your battles with her.

 

My ex and I argue off and on at work. Just a few days ago, I said something, I probably should have not said. Considering the last couple of years with him has been a nightmare I couldnt resist. I told him that I had no respect for him. Considering that I have no idea what goes on that head of his that I could comprehend I felt it was too much on the cruel side.

 

I think hes been too hurt from being raised in an abusive family to a nasty divorce resulting in loosing his daughter.

 

Are you positive your going to end the r/s? How do you plan on going about it. A week tops is enough time for her to pack and arrange a flight home! Keep us updated, and good luck to you.

 

1. "Has anyone else experienced this?"

 

Yes 2. "It seemed so weird to me. What is going on in her head?" Irrationality, insanity and memories of the way her mother and father related. 3. "Why would someone choose to argue this way?" Irrationality and insanity. Also low self esteem, insecurity, fear of loss of control, anxiety, sensory overload, the inability to come up with a logical argument...oh, did I say insanity?