can i ever get his respect now?

[Guest]

Without understanding the full details of my situation, what would be your immediate answer to my question?.....

 

Is there any way a girl can gain respect from a guy... when at one point and time, she was cheating on her boyfriend with him?

 

 

I am the girl...I'm 19. Last spring, I met this guy when I was trying to leave my boyfriend (19). We'd been together for a year, and I was the most loyal gf... but he was too paranoid of me cheating, and his jealousy was out of control. I was very shy and barely even made eye contact with other guys. If I ever went out, it was always with him. He had no reason to be jealous. But he always made big scenes and called me names like "stupid bitch", "slut", etc in front of groups of people at parties. All of my friends and family hated him. They always begged me to leave him, but for whatever reason I held onto him.

 

Well, last spring I started working at this hardware store with lots of college kids... And this is when I met that guy. He was really nice, and he knew about my situation. My bf started getting physically abusive with me around this time, and he could see the marks and bruises. He knew exactly what was going on, and he knew that I was very emotional from it all.

 

I was trying to leave my bf, but nothing was working. I told him that my dad was going to cut me off if he knew we were together (which was true), but it only made him very sad....which made me feel sorry for him and take him back. He had a way of making me feel sorry for him...as much as I yelled at him and told him what I felt about him.

 

I gave this guy from work my number. He was always very sweet, but kept everything casual at the same time. He said he wasn't trying to get in the middle of anything, but that he was always there for me if I needed anything.

 

Well, basically I started hanging out with this guy and having sex with him. I don't know why I did it, or if I had any reasoning for that matter. But I do know that I had my mind set on leaving my boyfriend, and I told him that. I also told him that he didn't have to worry about me getting attached as he warned me not to.

 

Eventually, I broke up with my boyfriend and the guy from work and I distanced,..... as we were both kind of not sure what to do from there. We both didn't want to be attached, but we kind of were. He said it was the best sex he'd had, and I agreed although I didn't actually tell him. We carried great conversation, but we kept it at a certain level.... to where we each still remained mysterious to one another.

 

Its been months since I've seen him. He has tried to call me late at night to get me to come over (for sex), but I just ignored it.

 

But now, my emotions are settled. So I'm not afraid of getting attached to him anymore, or having him be the "rebound" guy. He sends me these chain texts a few times a week, and we talk on the phone for a few minutes every once in a while.

 

He has been trying to call me more lately.... usually late at night. I wouldn't mind seeing him just for sex or just as a "booty call" I guess. But hes a sweet guy, and I really like his personality too. So I kind of see him as dating material, but I feel like I could be wrong too. I mean, he doesn't have to work for sex with me....even though I've just been blowing off his calls lately. And I feel like thats a key factor to whether or not we could have a relationship. He has nothing to work for anymore.... and I'd like to just hold back and not have sex with him if I knew he had intentions of dating me.... but I don't feel right asking him what he has in mind for us. I don't know if its just a waste of time or what. I want to find out, so I know if I should plan to just have sex with him and put up my guard. But it might scare him off, which I don't want.

 

I wouldn't mind just having sex with him.... I'm not a promiscuous girl by any means. I don't normally just have sex with someone and not share feelings. But I caught myself in this situation, and the sex was realllllly good. So I am finding myself running back. For sex? Yes. For a relationship? Well, thats my question.....

 

Could this guy ever respect me?? Is it possible?

 

I would really appreciate it if you guys could let me know what your opinion is. I'm fine with whatever when it comes to this guy. I won't just throw myself out there, and he knows that..... so that at least helps.

 

What do ya think????? Thank you!