wreck_em Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 Situation Well, here it goes. I am wondering what you guys think I should do in this situation... I have an ex that I dated for 2 years who is an extremly important part of my life. We broke up 5 years ago so that we could go to seperate schools and stuff...nothing else was really wrong in the relationship. So, we have stayed in touch ever since, we were friends for a year before dating as well. BUT, here's the thing. We recently have ended up back in the same city and are both single and of course still talk all the time. I have always loved him, even though I have had other love interests and so has he. We aren't at the place where we both want to try it again. But, when we are with each other we can help but flirt and be attracted to each other. We BOTH flirt, not just me. So, because of this and our long seperation, he is pulling away, he only wants to talk on the phone, never in person, never just hang out like we were. I don't want to loose the friendship that means so much to me... how do I "turn off" the feelings I have for him so that we can keep the friendship we have had for 8 years? And why is it so bad if we have such a great friendship AND are physically attracted to each other if we did hang out and maybe try it again someday?! Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 he is pulling away, he only wants to talk on the phone, never in person, never just hang out like we were. Well, then just say that you're not comfortable with talking on the phone all the time. Keep the phone conversations short, and see if he then asks to catch up in the flesh. He must have heard about the last dude you chewed up and spat out. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 Well, then just say that you're not comfortable with talking on the phone all the time. Keep the phone conversations short, and see if he then asks to catch up in the flesh. I agree with this - you have nothing to pursue if your friendship/relationship isn't just as important to him at this point. He is making a statement of not wanting to date you. I don't know the details of the break-up but you have been over for a while (he has had time to get over you and you have both dated other people) so any of the 'get him back' tactics won't work if there isn't a wish or unresolved feelings on his side too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wreck_em Posted October 25, 2006 Author Share Posted October 25, 2006 Just wanted to thank you two that replied. But, it is officially over, no more wondering. Thank you for your objective thoughts. I really appreciated it. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Your welcome. I wish you luck in finding a man who is better for you. A lot of what you felt for this man could lie in the memories of who he was then and not who he is now. So now you'll find one you can be happy with who will be happy with you. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Sorry to hear that. But you'll always have Paris. Link to post Share on other sites
Annova Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Your welcome. I wish you luck in finding a man who is better for you. A lot of what you felt for this man could lie in the memories of who he was then and not who he is now. So now you'll find one you can be happy with who will be happy with you. Hey Island Girl, I was wondering here real quick if you were able to use your pms, avatar and such yet? I'm in the same boat here and I don't know why. Did you ever figure out why? Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 you need another e-mail notification to respond to -- go to the thread (it is in "new posts" today) about commenting on Avatars -- that is where LS wrote me back. Wreck_Em -- I hope you are doing better. Hope all is well in the quest!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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