Guest Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 My brother has been living with me for 2 years. I am contemplating whether to kick him out. Why? Mostly because I would like my own life. He's 33 and I'm 27. He doesn't meddle in my life like an older sibling might, but somehow I've become entangled in his. That and he's filthy to live with...BIG problem. Money is only a small part. I'm footing all the bills, I'm fine with this because I make enough to take care of it. I am not fine with him sponging off the rest of the family. He's depleted my mom's account, dad's only recently found out. Mom's also been borrowing off my 2nd bro on his behalf. 2nd bro's only recently found out too. Nobody wants to talk to my 1st bro now, except for mom of course. What's stopping me? I feel selfish. My parents supported me all through school and I am so grateful they never kicked me out as soon as I turned 18. I feel obligated not to turn my back on my brother. BTW. He's making minimum wage and his girlfriend is pregnant. She's living in my house too and is unable to get a job. Should I even care??? Am I spoiled too? I don't want to turn into my mother by giving in to my brother. Link to post Share on other sites
suegail Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Gosh, you know, you've certainly done your part in trying to help your brother. Maybe it would be the best thing in the world for him if you booted him out. He needs to figure out a way to make it on his own...there are shelters for people to live in until they get on their feet. Now out here social services or welfare services will even put people up for a time in a house of their own when there are children involved (you did say his girlfriend is pregnant) maybe they could get into a shelter home if they have them where you are. I just don't think you should have to keep supporting him for the rest of his life. If everyone keeps doing this for him he's never going to even try to work things out on his own.... Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 I think that if you have a family member who really and truly needs you, having exhausted all other resources and working as hard as they are able (and asks for your help) you should do what you can for them. It doesn't sound as though your brother quite fits the bill there though, with his "sponging" and all. At his age living off family should be an absolute last resort but it sounds instead like his crutch. Your brothers gf can probably find somewhere else to go. You and your mother will just enable him to continue this lifestyle and he will not work to improve things until he has to. I would tell him he's going to have to find someplace else to live in the next month. If he manages to slop up your house, get your mother to borrow money for him after taking all hers, get his gf all moved in there and make YOU feel selfish, he sounds like a first class manipulator on top of a mooch. All the more reason to get him out as his personality, his mess, and his material needs are sure to be a huge drain on you, both financially and mentally. Link to post Share on other sites
peterparks Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Whoa, tough love indeed. Look, you have to be firm and talk to your brother about your issues. Link to post Share on other sites
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