lady_of_magrathea Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 To make a long story short, I am a 22 year old grad student who's in a long distance relationship with a guy in another state. He's been kind of neglectful and not investing as much energy in the relationship as I have, so my attentions have turned to someone more local...the RA in my building, who's 20. Originally, we just had small talk whenever we passed in the hallway. Sometimes he is friendly and sometimes he isn't, so I concluded he must not like me. This past week, however, he acted different. Seeing me in the study lounge one night, he invited me to a hall social. A couple of nights later, he found me in the cafeteria and poked me. When I went to sit down, he followed me to the table. We talked for almost an hour. He told me about an online relationship that hadn't worked out and mentioned that he was looking for a relationship. When I suggested he try older women, he said, "I like older girls, but most of them don't give me the time of day because I'm younger." On the way out, he invited me to eat breakfast with him and his friends on Sunday (that was canceled). He also acted silly, talking in crazy voices. He'd never done this before. Yesterday, I went to his room to chat and see if I could find out when everyone was meeting for breakfast. He was friendly, though not as much as before. He did tease me about something he'd seen on my facebook. I stayed for about 20ish minutes, til I had to leave. Unfortunately, I was wearing this ring that looked like an engagement ring, and he stared intently as I played with it. Today, I went down there again to see if he was on RA duty and could give me a ride somewhere. We ended up talking for about 30 min. Again, we talked about personal things, like our families, and he showed me a personal project he'd been working on. When I told him about my coursework for next semester, he said, "I'll never see you, then." After a bit, he asked me what I had to do for the rest of the day. I couldn't help wondering if he was politely trying to get rid of me. However, he mentioned he was going to dinner at 5. Not knowing if he was hinting that he wanted company, I went at 5:15, but he wasn't there. My question is why wasn't he as friendly this weekend as he was when he ate with me? My relationship status is on facebook, so do you think he saw that and decided to back off? Was I being to aggressive by going to his room two days in a row? I don't know whether I should keep trying to be friends or what. I can't tell if he likes me as a friend, if he's attracted to me, or if he's just being polite because he is an RA. I wish I could go to him and say, "Hey, you've probably noticed by now that I'm interested in you. Do you feel the same way?" What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 If what you say is true, and he's sending mixed messages, he's put you into the friends zone. My conclusions are based off what you've said about the situation: He's unsure if he has a chance with you, afterall you are older tahn him and he's had bad experiences with women who find out he's younger than them. He might know your situation with your bf, and has seen what you claim looks like an engagment ring...again more reasons not to pursue you. If you're interested why not invite him to do something together off campus, or the subtler approach is mention something the 2 of you could do together sometime...and if sees the cue he'll ask you out, that's if he's interested Link to post Share on other sites
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