Picking people up in public?

[dgiirl]

Is it even possbile to pick someone up in a public area? I've never experienced this and always dated people i knew via friends or activities.

 

But tonight, for the first time, I went to a bookstore that is known to be in a "singles" area of the city. OMG, there were a few good looking men in that bookstore and I caught one or two guys looking in my direction, I smiled, they smiled(?), but no action. With one guy in particular, we kept dancing around each other going up one isle and down another, but not close enough to talk to one another, but did make eye contact atleast 3 or 4 (if not more) times.

 

Has anyone actually approached another in a public space? I'm way too shy to approach, so how do I encourage a guy to approach me? Or if I was to approach, how do i do it?

[Lights]

Is it even possbile to pick someone up in a public area? I've never experienced this and always dated people i knew via friends or activities.

I've done it a lot, albeit only once did it ever result in an actual date. Most recently, I've had a fun conversation with a cute folk guitarist on a train a week ago. Nothing ended up happening as a result of it, though. It's possible, but extremely low-percentage.

 

But tonight, for the first time, I went to a bookstore that is known to be in a "singles" area of the city. OMG, there were a few good looking men in that bookstore and I caught one or two guys looking in my direction, I smiled, they smiled(?), but no action. With one guy in particular, we kept dancing around each other going up one isle and down another, but not close enough to talk to one another, but did make eye contact atleast 3 or 4 (if not more) times.

 

Has anyone actually approached another in a public space? I'm way too shy to approach, so how do I encourage a guy to approach me? Or if I was to approach, how do i do it?

 

I do it when applicable; I haven't much other choice. I don't know if there's any real technique to it, though.

 

If you're passing by each other in the aisles, consider asking them what book they have (if they have one in hand). Even a passing-by "hey :)" can possibly start something.

A straight up introduction also can work. "I'm Lights. I just thought I'd meet you." is something I've applied before in public places.

 

I've also struck up random conversations with someone sitting and reading/studying at coffee areas. Results again can vary.

 

All of these are extremely low-percentage tactics though.

 

If you know any ways of encouraging the opposite sex to approach, please advise me too--I'd love to know.

 

Good luck!!

[Art_Critic]

Has anyone actually approached another in a public space? I'm way too shy to approach, so how do I encourage a guy to approach me? Or if I was to approach, how do i do it?

 

I'm like you.. too shy.. I go to my local well known bookstore all the time and browse. nada..

Since I'm no good at it I normally am in and out of the bookstore in 10 mins..

 

I couldn't come up with the conversation starters if someone gave them to me..

 

I do think that I would have to be 100% ( having good game ) if I was going to successful at a pickup in public.. my humor would have to be operating at 100% too..

That seems impossible anymore... I'm always running at about 75% and my humor is running low at about 50% right now..( and even then it seems to be hit and miss )

If my humor picks up I'm normaly able to at least start the convos

[Ghessed]

... so how do I encourage a guy to approach me? Or if I was to approach, how do i do it?

 

* Ask them a question that they can not answer yes or no to. Then keep talking about that subject and move the conversation toward other topics they give you hints about liking. Watch their body language for indications that they like you or are finding you a bore or worrying about their gf/wife in the next isle seeing them talk to a beautiful woman. Watch your own body language too, if you want the guy to ask you out and they are a little nervous you'll need to set them at ease with your voice, appropriate for them eye contact and your own body language.

 

You kind of want to match their speed of talking and mirror their own body language a little. Be an active listener, don't act like what he is saying doesn't matter. After 10 to 15 minutes of talking about the subject that gets HIM going, just say, "You're a great talker/listener I could really use a coffee/tea/carrot juice/beer shall we go get one? <big smile><big pause until he says yes>" Remember it isn't a date it's just a coffee/tea/carrot juice/beer in a public place.

 

Strangers are just friends we haven't yet met.

 

PS - Getting to know someone in a public place is a science as well as an art and there is a whole lot more to it that you can learn from websites, book, etc. Practice, practice, practice and you'll soon be able to get the results you want almost every time you try. Practice on guys you aren't attracted to as well, it's just a coffee and you never know what might happen.

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

Is it even possbile to pick someone up in a public area?

 

I got picked up at the supermarket line once

 

The guy behind me started chit chatting with me...

 

And when I went to my car and I was putting the stuff in the trunk he showed up and said hi, and helped me with the stuff (kind of embarrassing too).

 

After some more chit chat he asked me for the number, and since he was pretty cute and reminded me of someone I knew, I gave it to him and actually went out with him a few times.

 

But, didn't work out, but he was a nice guy,

 

Ariadne

[Pyro]

Is it even possbile to pick someone up in a public area? I've never experienced this and always dated people i knew via friends or activities.

 

But tonight, for the first time, I went to a bookstore that is known to be in a "singles" area of the city. OMG, there were a few good looking men in that bookstore and I caught one or two guys looking in my direction, I smiled, they smiled(?), but no action. With one guy in particular, we kept dancing around each other going up one isle and down another, but not close enough to talk to one another, but did make eye contact atleast 3 or 4 (if not more) times.

 

Has anyone actually approached another in a public space? I'm way too shy to approach, so how do I encourage a guy to approach me? Or if I was to approach, how do i do it?

 

Does a bar count? That is where I met my current GF. I had an advantage though. I had some liquid courage to talk to her.

[BlueEyedGirl]

It happens to me often, on the street, train stations etc. However quality of the said guys is debatable. I have a feeling that most of them are types who have been doing this over and over again.

 

What you can do is make it completly obvious that you want to be picked up. Major repeated eye contact, smiles, dead on staring all work well (even though you might think it's creepy). To me it happens mostly when I want it to happen and keep looking around etc. When I just go about minding my business and don't look at anyone it rarely happens (well maybe once and twice).

[DanielMadr]

Is it even possbile to pick someone up in a public area? I've never experienced this and always dated people i knew via friends or activities.

 

But tonight, for the first time, I went to a bookstore that is known to be in a "singles" area of the city. OMG, there were a few good looking men in that bookstore and I caught one or two guys looking in my direction, I smiled, they smiled(?), but no action. With one guy in particular, we kept dancing around each other going up one isle and down another, but not close enough to talk to one another, but did make eye contact atleast 3 or 4 (if not more) times.

 

Has anyone actually approached another in a public space? I'm way too shy to approach, so how do I encourage a guy to approach me? Or if I was to approach, how do i do it?

 

Lots of us guys are too shy (polite) and inexperienced.....cowards. So dont count on it or you have to initiate or have a big sign 'I am interested'.

 

Personally....from 10 approaches....4 are only flirting just for ego boost not interested in hurting their boyfriends, 2 are ONLY interested in hurting their boyfriends, husbands (quick ****) - which I dont, 2 just freeze and 1 is plain rude. Not very encourageing. So dont blame us

[DanielMadr]

I have a feeling that most of them are types who have been doing this over and over again.

 

When I did it for the first time....that girl asked me if I do it regularly :-D

 

Now I do it regularly....no girl will come to my doors.... and girls think Im a player anyway.....and despite of what girls say...it attracts them more

[a4a]

I end up accidently picking up people all the time in public places. I don't intend on doing it but I do

 

I am a smartass so I usually cannot help but to make some comment to a stranger about something going on in the public area.

 

Chat with one of those book store beaus...... say something.

 

Hell even a remark like " Excuse me, does my butt look fat in these pants?" may be an ice breaker If he says no then say "well good, I can go have a nice calorie packed latte with you then"

[BlueEyedGirl]

Now I do it regularly....no girl will come to my doors.... and girls think Im a player anyway.....and despite of what girls say...it attracts them more

 

See to me.. it's a complete turn off. I don't want a guy who will be interested in any semi attractive girl. I keep getting plenty of those. I want a guy who will be able to have a choice of few girls but will see something special in me.

 

There is a big tip for you guys: make the girl feel that she is the one you want despite others being interested...she will be yours. Give off a vibe that you are into anything female and she will run a mile.

 

The only reasons players are attractive is the need for a girl to have the guy who is wanted by many females but who choses to be with her. And you don't even have to be wanted by many females. Even turning down one will do.

[Woggle]

I met my wife in public. She was haning out on the boardwalk at night watching the ocean and I struck up a conversation with her. A year and some change later here we are happily married. If you do accept a date from a stranger though make sure to always meet in public and until you get to know each other better.

[DanielMadr]

See to me.. it's a complete turn off. I don't want a guy who will be interested in any semi attractive girl. I keep getting plenty of those. I want a guy who will be able to have a choice of few girls but will see something special in me.

 

There is a big tip for you guys: . Give off a vibe that you are into anything female and she will run a mile.

 

The only reasons players are attractive is the need for a girl to have the guy who is wanted by many females but who choses to be with her. And you don't even have to be wanted by many females. Even turning down one will do.

 

I didnt say I am not picky. Ofcourse I am picky....Im not sick OMG. How do you guess his character so fast btw...prejudice?

 

make the girl feel that she is the one you want despite others being interested...she will be yours....totally wrong concept. I thought the same way you do couple of years ago....it sounds romantic but it does not work. And I wasnt a total wuss. I just let her know that I am not a player and Im interested in her and only her. Response...Oh you are so sweet and that was the end of it. It is not only my experience, believe me....ask whatever guy you want. Actually being arrogant pr1ck works much better. Sad but true.

 

And I tell you why....because man wanted by many women will be challenging not assuring of his love to her.

 

I dont say you are totally wrong but you picked up only not so important aspect of attraction that would work only on girl which is not wanted by guys.

[DanielMadr]

I'm like you.. too shy.. I go to my local well known bookstore all the time and browse. nada..

Since I'm no good at it I normally am in and out of the bookstore in 10 mins..

 

I couldn't come up with the conversation starters if someone gave them to me..

 

I do think that I would have to be 100% ( having good game ) if I was going to successful at a pickup in public.. my humor would have to be operating at 100% too..

That seems impossible anymore... I'm always running at about 75% and my humor is running low at about 50% right now..( and even then it seems to be hit and miss )

If my humor picks up I'm normaly able to at least start the convos

 

Thats because you are nervous. Try to achieve the right state of mind...clear mind....dont expect anything....no worries.....death is smiling to us - smile back...or my favourite state of mind - 'I just dont give a f*ck)

Practise and it will come eventually. Dont let yourself drag down by defeats....learn of it and smile.....you will die soon anyway:cool:

[dgiirl]

Thanks for all the suggestions

 

 

I'm like you.. too shy.. I go to my local well known bookstore all the time and browse. nada..

Since I'm no good at it I normally am in and out of the bookstore in 10 mins..

 

Come to my bookstore and we can practice on each other lol I was like you at first. In and out. I felt stupid if I didnt have a purpose. It took me some time to get comfortable just browsing the isles. Now I have no problems just looking around and often find myself spending 30-40 mins just looking at everything.

 

 

 

Hell even a remark like " Excuse me, does my butt look fat in these pants?" may be an ice breaker If he says no then say "well good, I can go have a nice calorie packed latte with you then"

 

OMG a4a, you crack me up.

 

 

I met my wife in public. She was haning out on the boardwalk at night watching the ocean and I struck up a conversation with her. A year and some change later here we are happily married. If you do accept a date from a stranger though make sure to always meet in public and until you get to know each other better.

 

That's very sweet Woggle! Did she give you any "green" lights in order for you to approach her? If so, what were they? What was your opening line?

[Woggle]

We just started talking. I had seen her around before and she caught my eye. I thought she was my age so during a casual conversation I asked her out.

[a4a]

oh geeze peeps there is nothing wrong with starting a casual conversation in a public place with a stranger, as long as they are not brandishing a chainsaw with a goalie mask on.

 

get some balls!

 

I meet some of the neatest people in public places. Instead of looking for a romantic interest search for a human interest.

 

I don't hand out my # to any but enjoy conversation with them. I do not fear saying "hi, how are you today?"

 

As a matter a fact I kinda feel obligated to say hello when sharing a public space with another person.

[alphamale]

I met my wife in public. She was haning out on the boardwalk at night

how did you know that she wasn't a lady of ill repute?

[amaysngrace]

I met my current BF in public three times before we even exchanged names...

 

First he waited on me at a garden center and was overly nice. I thought he was just like this to everyone although my first impression of him was that he was weird.

 

Three days later I ran into him at a supermarket. We spoke for about 45 minutes. Still, no names...

 

Finally Memorial Day I ran into him in a convenience store. He seemed as anxious to get my number as I was to know his name. He called me that night and we spoke on the phone for over three hours.

 

The rest, as they say, is history...

[Woggle]

how did you know that she wasn't a lady of ill repute?

 

She didn't give off that vibe. I have known many ladies of the night and can spot one pretty quick.

[amaysngrace]

I am a smartass

 

Funny, had you not said so, I'd have never picked this up about you.

[a4a]

Funny, had you not said so, I'd have never picked this up about you.

 

 

I hide it well..... one of my charms used when picking up strangers in public places.

[amaysngrace]

I hide it well..... one of my charms used when picking up strangers in public places.

 

 

I speak to people all the time in public. I say hi to them, they say hi to me.

 

It's very attractive to make eye contact with others. Especially when they sense you're approachable. I can't stand uppity people.

[BlueEyedGirl]

I dont say you are totally wrong but you picked up only not so important aspect of attraction that would work only on girl which is not wanted by guys.

 

Totally wrong. Girl that is not wanted by guys would go for any guy that shows an interest in them. After all she can't afford to be picky since she rarely gets approached.

 

As for arrogant pricks, any sign of that and I don't care how hot the guy is, my interest level drops to zero. Now confidence is another thing all together.

 

And no, making a girl feel special and being sweet is not enough. There has to be chemistry on her part, something that can't be forced despite what those "pick up" artist books say. But attraction + you being a prick = good bye. Attraction + you being sweet and making her feel special = lurve.

[DanielMadr]

Girl that is not wanted by guys would go for any guy that shows an interest in them. After all she can't afford to be picky since she rarely gets approached.

Exactly what I meant. So a girl who is picky wont fall for it.

 

 

As for arrogant pricks, any sign of that and I don't care how hot the guy is, my interest level drops to zero. Now confidence is another thing all together.

 

Yep I used extreme to demonstrate that giving a vibe that she is the only one (wussy stuff) is even worse than arrogant stuff, which is often mistaken for confidence btw.

 

Read this....http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t97847/