first bit of counceling... terrified

[wookinpanub]

I'm completely terrified. I don't know what to expect. I don't know if I will be honest with myself and my doctor. I know I have got problems, and it is easy to admit that to people that I will never meet. But in person, with someone who's job it is is to critique what you say and try to help fix you? What if I say something wrong?

I've never been a very prime physical specimen, so I have always kind of tried to compensate with my mind, you know? Well I guess I'm partially afraid that that isn't even working correctly now. I don't know. I've never done this kind of thing before, so I just have NO clue what to expect. My doctor sent something in the mail. Some kind of survey thing to fill out and bring back with me on Thursday.

[Guest]

One night I started to remember the last time i was in love, and I began to cry. See I had been divorced from my husband for 3 years, and then I went into a rebound relationship with this tall, archie [btw, can you believe I ask my next rebound, ex bf #5, to see if arch was horse backing riding and he did for me - what a loser] and I ended up getting angry with him because he was a terribly abusive son of a bitch [sigh]. And I took it for 16 years because I kept thinking, if I just love him a little more, if I just give a little more...

 

Well, I gave all of myself for him and things only got worse. When he started getting really abusive that was my clue to exit. But the thing is, I LOVED him. I STILL LOVE HIM and all this time I have been hiding my heart in concrete to protect it from being hurt again. Which meant that I wasn't in love with my husband, who was a very nice man - but more like a brother. And the rebound guy, mr. porn, I made the mistake of telling him i loved him, but wasn't IN LOVE with him, if you understand the difference [WINK]. So, poor reboundman #2, he got the dregs of my love. I mean I gave him black magic love - no wonder he stopped loving me at some point [WINK]. So, as soon as he got sick, I went back to the abuser - and I hope we have a happy ending.

[Ssheena]

Don't freak about the therapy. It will be ok. Fill out the form and and go in and talk with the person. Tell them your worries and thoughts. A good therapist is not going to judge you but give you different ways of looking at things or get you to reexamine why you have the beliefs you have. It's not a overnight thing either. You will have ups and downs and I have found once I start really examining things it brings up lots of other things. You'll be just fine.

[Guest]

I see a therapist (since April) and I feel it is very beneficial and has helped me cope with what I've been through recently...

I have a 7 year old daughter and left her dad when she was 9 months old because he spent his life in the pub!

I then met the next charater in my life who abused me ... ran me over, broke my windows and many more terrible things when I wouldn't let him in my house. I never lived with him but he stayed at my house. This went on for 6 years (on/off relationship). I then found out in April that he had a baby of 7 months old ... so on one of the off periods he had a baby but carried on having a relationship with me never telling me there was a baby out there!

 

Then I met another guy on a website ... he declared his undying love for me ... met my daughter (bear in mind she is 7 years old and this was the 2nd boyfriend she'd ever met since she was 9 months old!) He was very pressurising in meeting her and said he wanted a family life and not all this going out to fancy restaurants all the time ... so I eventually let him meet her because he threatened to finish the relationship otherwise! He proposed to me and wanted to marry on a private island .. he told everyone to put the date in the diary but I did tell my family at the time it didn't all seem quite right!

 

Anyway he turned out to be a complete con man well actually I think he was ill ... he ripped me off by $10000 in 6 months and pretended he had tax problems I only found out afterwards that he had a fiance at the same time as me and she was $100000 down and was having her house reposessed and had huge medical problems and lost her job through stress he caused her ... so I had a lucky escape!

When I confronted him I suffered a broken cheekbone and broken nose ... I since found out there was various companys and individuals that went through the same thing as me!

So, I found a councellor very useful and at the moment I can't cope without her ... I have had weeks where I felt that it was a waste of money seeing her but the next thing something would happen that very small and whereby I could normally cope I would be so looking forward to seeing her!