Guest Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Hi everyone, Glad i found this site and hopefully some of you can give me some helpfull advice. Not sure whether its me being an idiot but here i go. Been with girl for a few months now, we live a fair bit away from eachother around (110 miles apart) but we get to see eachother every weekend. Either she stays at mine all weekend and heads to work from my house or i stay at her house. She says she loves me and cant live without me but ive got a real bad feeling about things. Now saturday night we were in bed cuddling when all of a sudden her phone starts to ring and its some bloke from the area she lives in, this has happend before! but she says he got her number from friends at work and he keeps pestering her. Well he rang around 4 times one after another and then sent a text. I asked what the text said and she was a little reluctant to say but in the end she said the text read , "If you want me to stop ringing say so!!" and she deleted the text. Proberly thinking i would take a look at her phone but i would never do that. Also in the morning she takes her cell phone into the bath with her, and she never does this. Now for the rest of the weekend i could tell she was a little off with me. Im not sure whether its me being a paranoid android or should i have these doubts? If i bring it up she gets a little moody and says "dont you trust me" etc etc. I really dont know what to do, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks all Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Hello, I think you should have definite concern. Why would her girlfriends give her number out when she is involved with you? All she has to do is tell this guy she is involved. Bringing the cellphone into the bath sounds suspicious when she never does it previously. Immediately erasing the text message so you cannot read it also sounds suspicious. Again I think you have some legitimate concerns. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 I agree that it sounds shady. I've rarely had a guy continue to call if I have completely ignored him, or if I've told him to leave me alone. There are those rare occurances, but I would think that she'd be complaining about how it concerned her that he wouldn't stop calling.. not getting defensive at her bf for asking who called. There have been instances in my relationship where someone has called my bf's phone several times in a row, and I've asked who it was afterward. I trust him, I'm just curious who was so adamant about getting ahold of him. He tells me, plays the messages on his speaker phone so I can hear them, leaves the phone out when he goes into the bathroom, etc... He's not hiding anything. Your gf on the other hand, erased his message so you couldn't see what it said, she kept the phone away from you by taking it into the bathroom, and she seemed distant during the weekend. It doesn't add up to someone who's not hiding anything. I guess all I can really suggest is attempt to talk to her again. Face to face would be best. List out the facts as you saw them. Some guy kept calling, she didn't want to tell you what the text said, immediately erased it, and acted strangely.. then ask why she behaved the way she did. If she immediately turns it into a "I'm not cheating, how dare you for not trusting me" kind of arguement, then restate you aren't accusing her, that you simply want to understand because you don't right now. If she won't discuss it rationally with you, without getting defensive and shifting the blame back to you, then just end the conversation and go home. There's no use talking to someone who's hiding stuff. THey'll just lie to cover up their lies. She either communicates with you, or she doesn't. But don't sit there and let her try to BS her way out of it by shifting the blame back on you. But I'd have to agree, I think she's doing something that's crossing the line at the very least. If she wasn't, then her response would've been different. Either to tell you she was concerned about the guys actions, ask for ways she could get him to stop calling. Have you answer the phone once, etc... I think she's hiding something. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Well i know we should of done this face to face, but I ended up ringing her! and we had a long chat about it and i brought up all the issues i had. I said if we wanted this relationship to work we have to be truthfull to eachother. She said nothing has happened with this bloke and and he just keeps ringing her and shes trying to ignore him and hope he gets the message and stops. She also said if he rings again she will pass the phone to me to answer. I said theres no need i trust her! I hope i wasnt foolish in saying that but i kinda do trust her. Well i will give another update in a few weeks to see if i was a fool for beleveing her or maybe it might be i was the fool thinking she cheated! anyway i will be back. Thanks all much appreciated, it helps having Unbias advice from partys not involved. Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Something does not sound right. The other fellow said if you want me to stop ringing then just say so. Why would she simply not tell him to stop calling her period then? He said to her just tell me to stop if that is what you want so why does she not do this? Link to post Share on other sites
classicgirl4 Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Sorry to make you more suspicious, but the EXACT same thing happened to me with my boyfriend months ago, and I had to confront him about it several times. It got to a point where he was yelling and screaming that he wasnt, but deep down, I knew SOMETHING was not right. So I just told him that I was done arguing until he told me everything that was going on. He then confessed that he had been cheating. I'm not saying that your gf is cheating, however, if you really feel something is up, then tell her. You shouldnt have to be suspicious. And she should be willing to tell you everything. Sometimes people are just afraid that a mistake they made will cost them the relationship. I forgave my bf, and things have worked out. GOOD LUCK! Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 More than likely something is going on. Do a search on Love Shack for text messaging, almost all of them (posts here) have led to infidelity. BTW, my EX was doing the same things, was I paranoid and insecure? Nope, turns out she was cheating. D'oh! Link to post Share on other sites
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