Dose He Still Have Feelings For Me?

[Guest]

Ok I started dating this guy a while back, we dated for 3 months and were really in love (real love not just silly kid love) but then somewhere things went wrong, with exam stress, parents stress and living in different towns it meant that it was an effort to get to see each other. I never really figured out why he broke up with me.

 

It hurt so badly that for a time I could bare to talk to him so I never really asked why things changed or what went wrong. Time passed and we didn’t speak. He found a new girlfriend and I found a new boyfriend although even from the start I didn’t feel the same way about my new boyfriend as I did about my ex, I didn’t love him in the same way. I thought I had healed and moved on but when me and my new boyfriend broke up I realised how much I missed my ex.

 

Coincidently a few days before me and my new boyfriend broke up my ex sent me an e-mail saying that he still wanted to be friends and hang out even if it would be awkward. So we started talking again and meeting up.

 

Maybe it was a mistake because seeing him just makes me miss him more, but I realised that I never really got over him, but I pretended I had because all my friends were getting fed up of my depression and I wanted to move on. I’ve now realised that I can’t move on because I’m still in love.

 

I was sure that I was going to have to try to get over him as he is still with his new girlfriend but my friends have told me that they are “on a brake.” One of his best friends (who is my friend as well) also told me that they think he still has feelings for me. Maybe this gave me false hope. Any way, we started hanging out more and more along with loads of our mates and now things between us are great, we’re really good friends and are really close.

 

We’re always hugging and he puts his arm around me a lot. One of my mates girlfriends thought we were going out we’re that close. I’ve kissed him on the cheek a few times and he doesn’t seem bothered by it. I still really love him and I’ve told him, he says he loves me too but I’m almost 100% sure he thinks I’m talking about “love” in a friend’s term.

 

He’s still with his girlfriend, but he complains about her a lot, and it’s her birthday next week but he’s decided to spend it with me and my mates rather than her. I’m just not sure what to do… Should I talk to him and ask him if he has any feelings for me and risk loosing someone who means so much to me (I’d rather have him as a friend than nothing at all), should I wait until him and his girlfriend break up and then talk to him or should I just try to forget him and move on (which will be impossible). He sends such mixed signals it’s impossible for me to tell if he dose have feelings for me or not… what do you think?

[megnog]

hm.

 

I don't believe you'll listen to what I have to say.. but he can't do this to you or his new girlfriend. Imagine if it was the other way around and you were dating him and he was hanging out with his ex on your birthday. He could have feelings for you still, but it could also be that he knows you still love him and he is sort of..."using" you. Perhaps for a backup? I don't know what is going on in his mind but I think you should find out WHY he broke up with you. That might give you some information as to what he feels for you now. Was he seeing someone else? Were you just not worth the effort?

Either way, I don't think its going to be something that would make you feel good but you should definately find out. I know you are head over heels for him still, but he sounds a little bit like a player. I don't know what his intentions are but if he loved you he either A wouldn't have broken up with you or B would break up with his present gf and ask you back out. Basically, I think you should sit him down and ask him why he broke up with you and what he sees you as in his future? Friend? Girlfriend? Which is it?

 

And honestly, I think if you remained friends with him you would never get over him.. or at least it would take so much longer. You have a right to be able to get over him and move on to other guys that can make you happy. If you are friends with him and try to date other guys, that could also create problems. You really need to analyze these things and figure out what is going to make you happy in the long run. Staying friends but forever lusting for him is going to drive you mad especially as he moves from girlfriend to girlfriend with you on the sidelines doing anything he wants in between.

 

I could be totally wrong but its worth a thought...