getting out of my head.

[Crystal]

this is really weird and confusing and i'm not sure how to explain this. i've always been inside my head analyzing and scrutinizing every little thing that comes along in my life.

 

lately i have been reading books on codependency, religion and communication and relationship. i have about four books going at one time.

 

so it seems that i have actually been out of my head lately, meaning that i have not been depressed and inside my head but more out in the world, more talking, laughing and being more outspoken in a sense.

 

this at times is just too weird and now it seems that i can go back! i really dont know how to deal with these new feelings.

 

i keep telling myself that this is not a bad thing, but still it dont feel natural, it feels more like 'am i going crazy'? kinda thoughts.

 

is this just a normal part of changing or should i worry about this? this is actually causing alot of anxiety and some panic in me cause i'm afraid that something is wrong with me, seriously, but i dont think there is, but how does one really know???

 

thanks for any help on this!

[Tony T]

Your feelings are perfectly normal and there's nothing wrong with you. You are on a path of change and change is sometimes scary, sometimes weird-feeling. Just go with the flow and enjoy the ride. It seems like you have an awful lot going in your life now so the ride is going to be a bit more eventful because it's moving pretty fast.

 

Everything you described is good. Be nice to yourself and take pride in the path you are forging for your growth as a human on this planet.

[Crystal]

i do have alot going on in my life right now and this is all apart of it. i recently quit my job because it was getting really hard on me physically.

 

i started another job and somehow managed to dislocate a rib or so the chiropractor said, either way i was in excruciating pain for days and had to quit that job now too.

 

my fiance has been absolutely wonderful about it all and wants me to just work for his brother for a while at his print shop so that is what i am doing for now.

 

also i was on some estrogen replacement patch, then ideveloped cramps in my calves which i was told was not blood clots.

 

still they did an ultra sound and found it negative but i decided to follow my own instincts and took off the patch and the cramps went away, coincidence?

 

then i've been trying really hard to make my relationship work by not wanting to run away at every little thing.

 

i seen a counselor too and we got on the subject of when i was four years old and had to be hospitalized for five months and she said how traumatic it must of been but i sorta blew it off and she thought i was crazy, no pun intended.

 

she said i had/have every right to feel abandonded now and that is probably alot of what my problems are now in life, so we are working on that.

 

when i get these feelings to run i am to journal them and go with them instead of sticking my head in a book or doing somethng else to avoid them, she says i have an avoidant personality.

 

sorry i went off there but i guess i had to get it all out. i still really dont have anyone to talk to so i come here now and then, sorry to bother anyone, but i also appreciate the input i get! thank you.

Your feelings are perfectly normal and there's nothing wrong with you. You are on a path of change and change is sometimes scary, sometimes weird-feeling. Just go with the flow and enjoy the ride. It seems like you have an awful lot going in your life now so the ride is going to be a bit more eventful because it's moving pretty fast. Everything you described is good. Be nice to yourself and take pride in the path you are forging for your growth as a human on this planet.