Ouepa Posted April 9, 2002 Share Posted April 9, 2002 I've been with my boyfriend for 3 yrs now and we got engaged last September. I really love and know that he is the right one. But for the last few days I have been worried because when we are together we don't have a lot to say to each other. I wonder if this is what we call the "routine" or if i need to worry about it. Probably yes because it worries me!!!!!!!!!! The thing is now I get a bit anxious. Can somebody give some advice and tell me if this is normal!!!!!!! Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 9, 2002 Share Posted April 9, 2002 Relationships are not only about communication but about experiences. The more experiences you have, the more you'll have to talk about. Start doing new and imaginative things together. Take drives, trips, go hiking, go on picnics, read the same books, go to concerts, plays, movies, go look at new homes under construction nearby, visit museums, if you live in the country...go pick corn and watermelon together, etc. Basically, the whole meaning of life boils down to the experiences we have and share with other people. If you're with somebody and you cease to grow but rather just talk to each other, you'll soon get talked out...just like you are now. Not to worry. Just get your lives cranked up again. When you're in a relationship, that's the time to start discovering new things in the world...together, as a couple. It's a huge world out there and there are many, many great subjects to explore. But you can't do it just sitting around staring at each other in the face. Relationships are work. If you just want to sit back on autopilot, retire from coupling and live alone. If you want somebody special in your life, you've GOT to work at it or it will die a death so fast you can't imagine. So give your relationship some cardio pulminary resuscitation (CPR) and start living life to the fullest...then you can talk about it later. Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Posted April 9, 2002 Share Posted April 9, 2002 Are you worried that your relationship has become routine or that the two of you seem to have nothing to talk about? To me they are two separate things, but could co-exist. Routines are easy to break. Don't do the same thing at the same time every day or every week. If you watch TV together, watch a different show instead of the same show. It won't hurt one little bit too miss one episode of Survivor. I promise. Visit someplace in your town you have never visited before, whether you think you would like it or not. If you go to the movies or go out to eat, go on a different night or to a different place. Take up a new hobby or take a class on how to do something new. If you two just have nothing to talk about, try the routine breaking suggestions above. That will give you something to talk about, even if it's how bad the place was. It's usually not hard for people who have an active job of other activities during the day or week to come up with things to talk about. Another way to generate conversation is by meeting and talking to new people. It broadens your life and gives you new things to think and talk about. I hope some of this helps. If nothing else, you can talk to your fiancé about coming to this website and all the crazy things people post here. Link to post Share on other sites
BeenThere Posted April 10, 2002 Share Posted April 10, 2002 How else would any of us feel comparably sane if not for good ol' "Idiot Island How else would any of us feel comparably sane if not for good ol' "Idiot Island?" And let's not forget to give an honorable mention to that absolute Mecca of human dysfunction&"Temptation Island"! Have to admit, Johnny and I haven't missed an episode of either of them since they started! But in all seriousness, I have to agree with the guys on this one. Comfortable silences are perfectly fine as well as those cozy couch nights so long as you mix it up with a little adventure of your own every now and than. Can you remember back to a time when you were single and wanted to go somewhere or do something really fun but had no one to drag along?&Your friends were all too busy, caught up in their own relationships, or didn't have the money to join you, so you ended up staying home? Well, now that you have a companion and/or "partner in crime", there is no better time then NOW to do all those things you wanted to. Who knows if you'll ever have the opportunity again? And it doesn't have to cost a lot of money or take up too much of your vacation time from work. A weekend camping, hiking, or even a short trip to a city you haven't visited before. The only limit is your imagination. As a matter of fact, my partner and I have a pact never to forget how to have fun together. Although we live together we still "date," taking turns treating each other to a night on the town or to trips somewhere the other has mentioned wanting to go. Next month, Johnny's taking me to a Broadway show in New York (just a three-hour train ride from town) and I'm already plotting my "pay back"---perhaps a weekend in Vegas or a hot air balloon ride. Winters are for cuddling up on the couch in front of the television and fireplace, but spring and summer are reserved for fun. Last year he even taught me how to fish! (I sucked). Anyway, what I am trying to say is&Live life like you mean it&and you'll have plenty to talk about! Link to post Share on other sites
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