GB111 Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 Hi All, Well, I'm back after a long hiatus. Thought I would share what has happened with my ex because, while my situation is a bit unique, it does give yet another example of why NC is the route to go. I will spare the details of my breakup, but in summary, my ex and I broke up on Valentine's Day, 2006 and had a long, drawn-out, messy one that didn't end until I went NC about 4 months ago. The final straw which led to NC was her telling me that we would never be anything more than friends. My ex lives in the same town as me, and for the last several months I have avoided any situation that might put me in contact with her (to the best of my ability). After the painful loss, this was absolutely the best decision I made for myself. While the beginning was TERRIBLY difficult, I slowly began to emerge from my shell. Today, I feel like I'm back to 98%. Maybe a smidgen of desire for her. Oh well, on to my point. After I finally went NC, neither of us talked to one another. No phone calls, no texts, no NOTHING. Recently, I ran into her again. Was very kind and friendly, but nothing more. She asked how I had been, I told her I was fine. She asked if I was dating someone, I said I was. Then, it got weird. She asked if I was going to marry the woman I was dating. Now, I'm 39 yrs., so it's not a completely illogical question, but after giving her a confused look, I told her I had no idea. She said I looked great; many years younger, and asked why I hadn't been the same person when we were dating. I said "I don't know, but I had to meet a new woman, so though I would spruce up my look a bit" (just wearing my hair differently and grew a goatee). I asked if she was dating anyone, and she said "no". I left and went on. Didn't see her for a while, but do see her sporadically now that I don't avoid places she frequents. While she's been her typical nasty self at times, she's always throwing little comments out. Well, I found out that she has indeed been dating someone for the past 2 months. A friend told me during a casual conversation the a week or so ago. Ran into her today and said I was very happy for her. She said "who told you?". I said that I had seen him and her together, asked if she was happy, and she said "yes". Well, as you can see, we are hardly together again, but the NC experience has been positive in so many regards. First, and most importantly, I'm back to my old self, or even a better. I feel confident, secure, and blessed. Second, while I certainly can't say she wants me back, I would gather by my conversations that there is interest there. If she wasn't dating someone, she might even be a bit more aggressive. I guess the good news for those who are going through the early stages of a break-up is that there is ALWAYS hope. The only mistake you can make is to hold on to that hope and wait for something to happen. The best thing you can do for yourself and your relationship is to LET IT GO. What will be will be, and there is nothing you're going to do to change it. The bad (or good) news is that I no longer want her. I know that may seem like a distant thought to those of you who are hurting, but you WILL get there, whether you want to or not. You can make it easy on yourself, or you can make it hard. I will tell you that per the wisdom you'll find on so many posts on this web page, pursuit really does drive the other away. Believe it. Finally, thank you to everyone who provided guidance to me when I was having a really difficult time. Your words of wisdom, while often ignored, did finally sink in and got me to where I am today. Thank you once again, and best of luck to those of you suffering right now. Regards, GB Link to post Share on other sites
InvisibleTouch Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 So she is a liar then! Well done for getting away from this nutcase. Link to post Share on other sites
silentcharon Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 Hi GB111, I'm glad you are doing good now. My life is still messed up, (obviously that's why I'm still here lol) Keep it up! SC Link to post Share on other sites
Author GB111 Posted October 25, 2006 Author Share Posted October 25, 2006 Oh, she's a liar alright. Pretty disrepectful of her new b/f. Oh well, good for him! Hang in there, SC. It WILL get better. I'm rooting for you! GB Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts