Sex personals...ladies?

[laguy10]

Ok, coming from the background I did, where I was taught NOTHING about women practically, I think I've come pretty far - I have no problem striking up a conversation, getting dates, etc. Recently though, I have started roaming onto a few sex pesonals sites, and was under the impression these women just want dirty sex....they say they do anyways. However, my emails get some really nasty responses. So, ladies, plz help me out here - are you going to these for sex only? If so, how does a guy need to relate to you, in order to get your attention? I am ignorant how to combine the "no strings" with the idea of making the woman comfortable. Not entirely sure how to view this whole idea of sex personals, but very interested in exploring it. So thanks, in advance, for your advice.

[Guest]

If you have questions of women who have those ads, why not ask the women there?

[IpAncA]

Alright I'll respond . Well why did you go on there?? A lot go on there for sex and some go on there looking for fun, flirt, etc... It just depends on what site your going on though. Those ads can be deciving. I guess you just don't know about those ads unless you decode what their saying because usually what they say means something different.

 

BTW I only know about this because a friend of mine and myself used to have a fake one in college just for the fun of it. Did we meet them? no. Did we get excitement out of it? O yeah.

[lighthouse]

I assume that you are not talking about **** or something like that. You are talking about actual sex sites and there I have no answer for you. Do you just want to have sex or do you want an actual relationship?

I know that on my **** account (where I am fully dressed and not dressed slutty at all) I get messages from guys that just want to f*ck. It is gross and they do get a nasty email back from me. But I am also not looking for that and I specifically state that.

lighthouse

[laguy10]

If you have questions of women who have those ads, why not ask the women there?

 

HAHA well, if only life were that easy my friend. If you have not learned it yet, you will soon, women hate it when you are too forthcoming about what you don't know....if you're too open, you lose mystery, and even if you're just looking for a qucik "hook-up", same rule applies. Women are not on these sites just to get f*cked, I don't believe, or else they would be responding. I have a theory that the women are really looking for a connection as well, but won't admit it. I think women go to these sites for fun sometimes, sometimes cause they are just horny, and also because they want to let their wildness out. At any rate, if you just ask them what kind of an email they want to hear, in order to respond, you basically take away all the mystery and intrigue about yourself.....you are ignorant....and people, as a general rule, always want the best they can have. So, that's why.

[laguy10]

Do you just want to have sex or do you want an actual relationship?

 

Well, actually, I am open to both. The reason I began going on these sites in the first place, is because I'd date women, and I'd invest A LOT of my time into them, and then they would just turn out to be flakes....like they would take all of my effort for granted. So, until I figure out why that is (if it is something on my part, or if it is simply the way the majority of women are), I am just exploring something new. I'm interested in how women view sex, wanting to try new things, etc. So, my viewpoint is that if there is no option for a relationship in the first place, I take that frustration out of the equation, and have some fun in the meantime

[clandestinidad]

What if your emails were short and asked them what they are looking for...as in a fun date, just meeting for a one-time thing, or something that might lead to more?

 

If I were looking for something, and received a first email that was simple like that, I would be more likely to respond.

[laguy10]

BTW I only know about this because a friend of mine and myself used to have a fake one in college just for the fun of it. Did we meet them? no. Did we get excitement out of it? O yeah.

 

I actually never considered that women might go on there just to screw with men, but I can easily understand that a lot of women would do that. Interesting. I kind of figured that if they were on these sites, they were risking being labeled a slut or something, so they would be serious....guess I'm failing to remember that a lot of people on the internet are not honest. Thanks for the reality check.

[clandestinidad]

Many women have a tendancy to seek out male attention by being overtly sexual, even when they're not interested in actually spending any time with them, in order to feel better about themselves for the male attention they receive from such behavior.

 

They don't consider it screwing with the man. They think they are being cute and flirty, and that men want women who act that way. They feel attractive because of the attention they get. It works over the internet too, based on their pictures and chatting, without ever having to actually meet any of the men.

[alphamale]

Many women have a tendancy to seek out male attention by being overtly sexual, even when they're not interested in actually spending any time with them, in order to feel better about themselves for the male attention they receive from such behavior.

 

They don't consider it screwing with the man.

But when the tables are turned and the man is flirting with the woman with no intent then she feels like she's been gang raped.

[IpAncA]

I actually never considered that women might go on there just to screw with men, but I can easily understand that a lot of women would do that. Interesting. I kind of figured that if they were on these sites, they were risking being labeled a slut or something, so they would be serious....guess I'm failing to remember that a lot of people on the internet are not honest. Thanks for the reality check.

I don't think technically it's screwing with men. It's only screwing with men if women go on those sites where men actually DO want a relationship. Then its just plan mean to led them on or to mess with them. but yeah like clandestinidad said, women do have the tendacy to seek out male attention and when they get it, they feel good about themselves.

[laguy10]

I don't think technically it's screwing with men. It's only screwing with men if women go on those sites where men actually DO want a relationship. Then its just plan mean to led them on or to mess with them. but yeah like clandestinidad said, women do have the tendacy to seek out male attention and when they get it, they feel good about themselves.

 

That's rationalizing a very needy behavior. If women need men to feel good about themselves, it's not the man's problem, it's the woman's problem. Personally, I think that you cannot seperate the two venues of which you speak, because, either way, feelings are involved. However you want to put it, if you lead someone on, in order to get your own validation needs met, you're screwing with the other person, because you're not being honest. And, I might add, that you could rationalize a player's behavior in much the same way - just as women are looking for a self-esteem boost, men are looking to get their sexual desires covered....and so, that's ok too....right?

[IpAncA]

That's rationalizing a very needy behavior. If women need men to feel good about themselves, it's not the man's problem, it's the woman's problem. Personally, I think that you cannot seperate the two venues of which you speak, because, either way, feelings are involved. However you want to put it, if you lead someone on, in order to get your own validation needs met, you're screwing with the other person, because you're not being honest. And, I might add, that you could rationalize a player's behavior in much the same way - just as women are looking for a self-esteem boost, men are looking to get their sexual desires covered....and so, that's ok too....right?

True that person might not be honest, but whos to say that person on the other end is being honest also? You just don't know.

 

Well I think I've backed myself here in the corner but I'm going to go out and say that boosting ones self esteem can not be compared to the whole sexual desires thing.

[laguy10]

True that person might not be honest, but whos to say that person on the other end is being honest also? You just don't know.

 

Well I think I've backed myself here in the corner but I'm going to go out and say that boosting ones self esteem can not be compared to the whole sexual desires thing.

 

I don't entirely agree, as some men view sex as a way of boosting their self-esteem. Women are inclined towards emotions, men are inclined towards physical pleasure...I think it's the same sort of thing in both cases. I suppose you could argue that men may leave pregnant women in their wake, and women don't leave pregnant men...however, sometimes men are so devestated by women who just toy with them, they are just as incapacitated. At any rate, I understand what you're saying, and I think I'm saying the same thing, just in a different way - and that is that it's not healthy if someone tries to use someone else (in whatever way), in order to feel validated themselves. As far as the other person also possibly lying, it's definitely a possibility, however, if everyone lived life by rationalizing that other people were doing something, so it was okay for them, well symbolance and order would quickly cease to exist, IMO.

[Admiral Thrawn]

I too am putting up a ads on these sex personal sites, mainly for sexual expression, I'm a virgin though, never touched, kissed, or done anything with a girl and want to make a sympathy profile about that on some adult sites to see what responses I would get, etc.... I've grown frustrated with the facade of dating, or getting 'friendzoned', while the other girl ends up going for someone else, that I think these sex personals deal DIRECTLY with sexual rejection without the friendship BS.

 

Adult dating site - if I get sexually rejected - lose nothing but a credit, or just time on computer. If this happens while you are dating someone and you are being played with (i.e. friendzoned, or used materially), then that's a lot more loss I suppose. Guess these sites really get the kinks out.

 

Now, from my last adult site romp, the lessons I've learned are:

 

- Do not express sexual fantasy over the internet from porn, or send emails to 'get-off', because you wont look like a 'regular' or 'normal' guy.

- Fat and Ugly slutty girls - the huge fat girls - are likely to come through and be available.

[Adunaphel]

I find it weird that women might be looking for dirty sex on personals websites - like they couldn't get it within ten minutes after walking out the front door.

 

I would perhaps use that kind of sites if I was trying to explore some weird fetish of mine, but just for sex??? I don't get it. (but hey, I am quite limited)

 

I wonder how popular the fantasy "having sex with a guy met on a sex personals website" is.

[IpAncA]

At any rate, I understand what you're saying, and I think I'm saying the same thing, just in a different way - and that is that it's not healthy if someone tries to use someone else (in whatever way), in order to feel validated themselves. As far as the other person also possibly lying, it's definitely a possibility, however, if everyone lived life by rationalizing that other people were doing something, so it was okay for them, well symbolance and order would quickly cease to exist, IMO.

 

I know what your saying really I do. I think it just depends on what site you go on and since not every site is the same, the rules might not apply as they might have in the previous site. Some are more mature then others while others are just plan ignorant, stupid, and a waste of time.

[laguy10]

I too am putting up a ads on these sex personal sites, mainly for sexual expression, I'm a virgin though, never touched, kissed, or done anything with a girl and want to make a sympathy profile about that on some adult sites to see what responses I would get, etc.... I've grown frustrated with the facade of dating, or getting 'friendzoned', while the other girl ends up going for someone else, that I think these sex personals deal DIRECTLY with sexual rejection without the friendship BS.

 

Adult dating site - if I get sexually rejected - lose nothing but a credit, or just time on computer. If this happens while you are dating someone and you are being played with (i.e. friendzoned, or used materially), then that's a lot more loss I suppose. Guess these sites really get the kinks out.

 

Now, from my last adult site romp, the lessons I've learned are:

 

- Do not express sexual fantasy over the internet from porn, or send emails to 'get-off', because you wont look like a 'regular' or 'normal' guy.

- Fat and Ugly slutty girls - the huge fat girls - are likely to come through and be available.

 

Yeah, I am using them for sort of the same reason....not so much because I get "freindonized" (nice word), but because the majority of women out there seem to be prone to the wild party lifestyle, and so I figure there is not a whole lot of point in trying to pursue a relationship with any of them, but I state in my profile that I'm also open to the possibility of one, should I meet someone that defies my conclusion on this matter.

 

I, too, have found that you cannot be sexual in your emails....which I find funny, because they will have a profile with the name of "girl4cock" or something like that, and a picture of themselves spread-eagle. I think it comes down to the innate differences between men and women still; women, even if they are looking for a "hook-up" are not just looking for sex, they still want to feel comfortable, like they connect, etc; so to send them an email that is overtly sexual, as your initial one, just turns them off.

[laguy10]

I find it weird that women might be looking for dirty sex on personals websites - like they couldn't get it within ten minutes after walking out the front door.

 

I would perhaps use that kind of sites if I was trying to explore some weird fetish of mine, but just for sex??? I don't get it. (but hey, I am quite limited)

 

I wonder how popular the fantasy "having sex with a guy met on a sex personals website" is.

 

I think, and this is only my own theory, that a lot of women are starved sexually....because society makes them feel like they are a slut or whore if they let themselves run wild in this area. I'm aware that women may possibly derive more physical pleasure from sex than men do, but also that women are much less likely to act on it.

 

I think, probably, from reading answers in this thread, that the majority of women probably put a profile up because they are bored, want to toy with men, feel better about their bodies from having a lot of men tell them they're hot, or whatever; but I also think there are some women who have a very active sex-drive, and don't feel comfortable displaying that in public, and so a community of sexual people would be the ideal place. Even if a girl can go to a bar or club and get picked up on by most any guy in the place if she displays herself properly, she might end up getting the image of a slut, and does not perceive herself that way, and so these sites are less obvious. You have to look for sex personals sites, you don't just "happen" upon them (in most cases), so they figure it's a more safe environment. Additionally, maybe they feel they can get to know a guy better first, before having a one-night stand, or a friends-with-benefits type of thing.

 

I'm finding that a lot of women are also on these sites to explore some fantasies of theirs - like maybe a 3-some or a lesbian experience, or a certain fetish.

 

Also, a lot of the people on these sites seem to want an on-going type of relationship; like an on-going friends with benefits type of thing. Now, you can find that in the real world, but it definitely takes some time to get to know people, before you even approach them with the idea in most cases....the internet is a way of bringing such like-minded individuals together, IMO.

[quietintrovertgirl]

I think half of those adult sites are scams and i bet half of those women are men.